


Keep Walking Forward Until You Never Look Back

by Garowyn



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Drama, Friendship, Gen, General
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-14 17:17:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 49,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13594716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garowyn/pseuds/Garowyn
Summary: Moments in the life of Sasaki Tetsunosuke, as he finds his place in the Shinsengumi and at the side of Hijikata Toushirou.Complete.Timeline: post-Baragaki to pre-Silver Soul arc.





	1. The Birth of a New Life Always Hurts Like Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama (or any of the series, characters, and other things I reference in passing; will include them by the end of the fic).
> 
> I took a few liberties with some behind-the-scenes details as part of fan interpretation. Additionally, as there is not a lot to go by regarding Tetsu, I fleshed him out a bit more here based on my own opinions of him. There are original characters in the form of Shinsengumi members I’ve simply given names to in order to make things easier. They’re also intended to be shown as people Tetsunosuke frequently interacts with. 
> 
> Originally, this fic was just short vignettes only, but some turned out longer than expected, so the fic has been divided into parts as opposed to chapters, which I would’ve set up and written differently than what I’ve done here. Consider it an anthology of vignettes.
> 
> Unlike my angst-heavy debut stories, this one is balanced with comedy and falls in line with Sorachi’s title choices (except for some serious chapters that he gives smaller titles to). I’ve been a Gintama fan for almost twelve years now, so I’m not unfamiliar with anything Sorachi does with his characters; I just expand on the possibilities. 
> 
> Much thanks to Valery for the feedback and endless support, as always – I cannot thank you enough! 
> 
> Part One Theme Song: "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park (hey, it fits)

“If you ever doubt the path you’re on, look within yourself and find your purpose again. Then, keep walking forward.”

Tetsunosuke had engraved these words upon his heart and soul the second he’d heard them. After spending most of his life drowning in degrading insults about his physical appearance and cold condescending remarks from his family, these words from Hijikata provided the life raft Tetsunosuke needed. Finally at a point of stability, he could now surge forward with renewed confidence in himself and the promise of a meaningful future.

“Keep walking forward and get me those damn cigarettes I asked for half an hour ago.”

Tetsunosuke bowed several times. “My apologies, Vice-Chief!” Standing rigid in the doorway with his arms sealed to his sides, Tetsunosuke faced Hijikata, who was sitting before his desk and a pile of legislative paperwork with an inked brush in hand. “I was on my way to the vending machines when Captain Okita—”

“ _Stop_.” Hijikata set down the brush and crossed his arms, irritation flashing in his eyes. “There are a few things you need to know now that you’re here permanently. One is to never trust Sougo.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Two is, _never_ trust Sougo.”

“Yes, sir!” Of course, Tetsunosuke had heard the eyewitness accounts passed around as legends and horror stories among the men about Okita Sougo’s sadistic tendencies, bloodlust, and general aptitude for the sword. He believed them wholeheartedly, but now more so with Hijikata’s emphasized warnings.

“Three – when I give you orders, you _complete them,_ no matter what. Don’t argue, don’t get sidetracked, don’t listen to what anyone else says – just _do as I say_. I don’t care if you’re in the middle of a conversation, if you’re about to piss your pants, or if Sougo told you to take a bottle of mayonnaise to me that is probably poisoned – get the task done _first_. Otherwise, I’ll have you commit seppuku.”

“Understood, sir!” While Hijikata’s overall exterior didn’t change, Tetsunosuke could feel the severity and promise of punishment radiating from Hijikata’s tone. The second-in-command and right-hand man of Kondou Isao was a man to be feared, indeed, but Tetsunosuke also admired him with the desire to follow absolutely through on every order issued.

“Good.” Hijikata picked up the brush again and signed the document. “Now, go get my Mayoboros and then run a hundred laps around the compound for failing to bring them to me sooner. I want you done before dinner.”

“Yes, sir!”

“Wait!”

Tetsunosuke halted in place and spun around. “Vice-Chief?”

“He really gave you mayonnaise, didn’t he?”

“Er, yes…” After Hijikata’s earlier comment, Tetsunosuke now intended to dispose of the bottle Okita had given him, supposing it was a trap of some sort. As Hijikata’s assistant, Tetsunosuke realized he would need to become more discerning of things specially gifted to the vice-chief. 

Hijikata sighed and held out a hand. “Alright, give it to me. All mayonnaise requires personal inspection.”

Tetsunosuke obeyed and didn’t dare question why Hijikata felt the need to inspect a product already under suspicion of in-house tampering.

“I wonder what that idiot did this time…” Hijikata took the round-shaped bottle and unscrewed the red cap. He sniffed the contents, frowning and peering inside. “Nothing smells out of—” He stopped, the colour draining from his face. “Shit, it’s a grenade—”

That day, after limping along with a furious Hijikata through the wreckage, en route to the medical wing, Tetsunosuke learned that grenades came in all shapes and sizes, like Shinsengumi soldiers, and that he was never to trust Okita again when it came to Hijikata.

* * *

Tetsunosuke sat down at a free table by himself, as soldiers poured into the mess hall and lined up to receive lunch. He had arrived early, hoping to try something first before too many people would witness it. Curry and rice was a common meal served in the Shinsengumi mess hall – and _was_ the lunch for today – and while Tetsunosuke had tasted better, he suspected he would consider the cafeteria’s standards preferable to what he was about to taste.

He looked down at his tray of food, which included a small squeeze bottle of mayonnaise at the side.

One of his morning errands after practice was to hand-deliver letters and government documents to intended personnel _and_ pick up mayonnaise if Hijikata’s supply was almost empty. Mayonnaise, Tetsunosuke was learning, played an integral role in the organization of the Shinsengumi. If Hijikata had gorged himself to his heart’s content on the condiment, he was usually in a better mood and operations progressed normally. If he hadn’t or was low on it or had been denied it for some reason, Hijikata was even shorter-tempered than usual and that meant extra laps, extra swings, and extra punishment for all.

As the official assistant to the vice-commander, Tetsunosuke took it upon himself to ensure Hijikata never had too little for the sake of everyone’s lives. Supply inventory was conducted each morning in Hijikata’s quarters, which Tetsunosuke was allowed to enter when work hours began or at request. As long as he didn’t fiddle around with locked drawers or personal belongings, Tetsunosuke was trusted to view the mayonnaise supply, refill ink bottles, or generally straighten out any mess of paperwork – a rare occurrence, as Hijikata was neat and orderly in most things. His sparsely furnished room contained no clutter or ornaments to distract him from his duties, either.

A few exchanges of conversation and eavesdropping informed Tetsunosuke that everyone else in the Shinsengumi didn’t share the same love Hijikata had for mayonnaise. Well, most were rather indifferent to it, some enjoyed it on the side, but no one other than Hijikata was ever seen drowning their food with it or consuming it like alcohol.

Still, Tetsunosuke reasoned, for a man of impeccable disposition and organization, there _must_ be a reason that Hijikata swore by mayonnaise and adorned everything he ate with it. Life was about risks and Tetsunosuke had already taken some great ones. Adding a generous amount of mayonnaise to his lunch today posed the least risk of all. If it was truly fatal, there wouldn’t be a banner above the doorway that directed everyone to have mayonnaise five times a week written what he recognized as Hijikata’s personal calligraphy style.

Untwisting the cap and holding the bottle above his meal, Tetsunosuke took a deep breath and squeezed the bottle, watching as mayonnaise oozed out and spread upon the rice and curry, his hand moving around in a slow, looping pattern.

“What are you doing? Are you seriously going to eat that?”

Tetsunosuke almost jumped out of his skin, squeezing the bottle hard enough to drop a great blob of the condiment onto his rice. “Y-Yamazaki-senpai!” He set the bottle down with a thud and looked at the only Shinsengumi spy with a ninja license. “How long have you been there?”

Yamazaki’s chewing slowed, as his expression morphed from incredulity to disappointment. “But I’ve been here for five minutes already…” He sighed. “Never mind that. More importantly, why are you poisoning your food? Do you realize what you’re doing??”

Tetsunosuke looked back at his meal, as if needing to confirm with his own eyes again. “I’m eating mayonnaise-flavoured curry.”

“It looks more like _curry-flavoured_ mayonnaise now! It’s almost as much as Vice-Chief adds!” A shade of pale green washed over Yamazaki’s face, as he glanced back and forth between the food and Tetsunosuke. “I understand you’re Vice-Chief’s assistant, but you don’t have to go this far!”

By now, some of the men were staring at their table, and judging by their alarmed expressions, Tetsunosuke gathered that Hijikata’s style of condiment-enhanced dining wasn’t popular. “I know that, but if it’s good enough for Vice-Chief, then it’s good enough for me!”

Yamazaki took a small bite of anpan, shaking his head. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Well, it’s a rite of passage for new recruits at this point,” said a shaggy-haired soldier, Nakashima, sitting down across from Tetsunosuke with a meal tray, “If you can survive that, you can survive _anything_.”

Someone Tetsunosuke remembered as Eguchi – due to their shared preference for shaved hairstyles – sat down beside him, cringing in obvious disgust. “Did you receive praise from Vice-Chief today?”

“Yeah, one time he approved of my actions during an undercover investigation,” Yamazaki cut in, “and he brought me soba-flavoured mayonnaise.” He nodded his head toward Tetsunosuke. “This guy, though – he’s doing it of his own free will.”

Nakashima and Eguchi just shook their heads sadly.

Seeds of doubt were threatening to take root, but Tetsunosuke decided to plow ahead. If everyone had earned their keep in the Shinsengumi by taking part in this bizarre mayonnaise ritual, then he would, too. Besides, it would please Hijikata greatly – of that, Tetsunosuke was never more certain. So, he took his first bite.

The explosion of flavour in his mouth was a zesty kind of sweetness, followed by the taste of curry sauce, stewed beef, carrots, onions, and rice combined together, all trying to win out against the mayonnaise. He didn’t know what to think at first, so he kept eating spoonful after spoonful, trying to form an opinion while the others watched and placed bets.

After consuming half the plate, he started to think that everyone was overreacting when his whole body was struck with waves of nausea. Taking deep breaths, Tetsunosuke set down his spoon and tried to focus on the edge of the table – anything but the taunting swirls of mayonnaise on his curry rice.

“Four minutes - you owe me 5000 yen,” Eguchi said to Nakashima with a grin.

“Never mind that!” Yamazaki cried, “He’s about to—

Tetsunosuke’s vision blurred, as he toppled over backward with his chair. His vision swam with images of strange humanlike creatures with teardrop-shaped heads and tufts of brown hair, wearing red fundoshi and prancing around a fountain of mayonnaise.

“It’s a Code 15!” Yamazaki said, pushing his chair back. “Hurry, let’s take him to the sick bay!”

Tetsunosuke convulsed and groaned. “What’s a…Code 15?”

“Mayonnaise poisoning,” Eguchi answered in his left ear, hooking an arm under his and hauling him to his feet.

“There’s a code for that??”

“It happens so often, it needed its own code,” Nakashima said in his right ear, and Tetsunosuke felt his feet gliding across the floor, heard Yamazaki shouting somewhere ahead of them for everyone to make way. “Code 9 means the attack on Vice-Chief is from Captain Okita, no need to panic.”

“Code 14 is Mayonnaise Cafeteria Special. I recommend taking city patrol duty during mealtimes.”

“Code 25 is Yorozuya interference.”

Tetsunosuke recalled his last experience with the silver-haired Yorozuya boss. He had yet to encounter the other two members.

“Code 30 means Otae-san is coming here. Code 31 means Otae-san is coming here in a _bad_ mood. Either way, we have to be careful.”

Tetsunosuke was about to ask who ‘Otae-san’ was when he hurled instead.

“Wait, I just finished mopping these floors!” cried a different voice Tetsunosuke recognized as Kumanaku from the first unit. The tall man with long nose and a prominent mole in the center of his forehead was still holding a mop and pail.

“We have an emergency Code 15!” Yamazaki shouted, leading the way down the hall.

Kumanaku’s appalled expression disappeared. “Oh, well, pardon me – please carry on. I do not mind mopping again. It is important to eliminate germs immediately—”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever - _move!_ ”

Tetsunosuke’s last thought before he fell unconscious was how he needed to learn all the codes when he woke up.

Twenty minutes later, he found himself staring at the ceiling of the medical ward, feeling as though he was still floating in a gigantic tub of mayonnaise with the naked creatures smiling down upon him. One of them spoke to him, informing him of the extent of the mayonnaise poisoning and that his system was almost clear of it, and telling him to keep his eyes on the ceiling.

“Happens all the time in this strange place,” said the fairy, although he now resembled a white-haired bespectacled man with a stethoscope around his neck. He was shining a light in Tetsunosuke’s eye, arching an eyebrow he inspected all around. “As common as a cold virus or acne.”

“Sorry to call you in again for something like this,” came Yamazaki’s voice from somewhere off the side, “He’s a new guy.”

The doctor nodded, turning off the flashlight. “They all learn eventually.” His mustachioed mouth twisted into a wry smile when Tetsunosuke groaned. “Welcome back to the living.”

“Where did I go?” Tetsunosuke mumbled, blinking.

He spent the next hour recovering from the experience, drifting in and out of sleep and sometimes forcing himself to stay awake until the fairies faded from his dreams. Unexpectedly, Hijikata turned up to visit him some time after returning from his morning meeting with police-commissioner Matsudaira Katakuriko and Bakufu officials.

Tetsunosuke struggled to sit up, wanting to stand and properly greet his vice-chief, but Hijikata told him to stay put. “Skipping out on the recovery process only leads to subpar efforts later on, which is unacceptable.” Hijikata took the cigarette out of his mouth and blew smoke, blatantly disregarding the sign on the wall that forbid smoking in front of patients. “Take one step away from here before you’re dismissed and I’ll send you right back in both your legs broken so you can’t leave again.”

Tetsunosuke nodded and lay on his back again, wincing when his stomach ached and bubbled. It might be another hour before his body was fully rid of the mayonnaise excess.

“What happened?”

“Code 15, sir.”

Hijikata frowned at him. “ _Humph_. You’ve got a long way to go if you want to conquer your weaknesses. If everyone trained harder, we wouldn’t need such a ridiculous code.”

“Yes, sir.” Tetsunosuke paused, wondering, and then said, “Thank you for checking up on me!”

Hijikata puffed on his cigarette. “Just making sure you aren’t dead. I have a mountain of old paperwork that needs to be sorted and archived, and I don’t want you falling behind.”

Tetsunosuke smiled in spite of the pain. “Yes, Vice-Chief!”

* * *

“Take this to Shimaru.”

Tetsunosuke took the sealed envelope from Hijikata’s hands and stared at the name written upon it in fairly neat handwriting.

Towering over most with a prominent head of thick orange hair, Saitou Shimaru was captain of the third unit, notorious as the ‘Silent Squad.’ Tetsunosuke had not heard further details yet, but he had seen the captain before from a distance – hard to miss that distinct hairstyle – and knew from others that he seldom spoke, if at all. Communication was done primarily through a notebook along with letters.

Earlier that month, he had witnessed a battle between Saitou and a new recruit – later revealed to be the wanted terrorist Katsura Kotarou. Saitou was volatile, relentless, and while the famed Katsura had shown himself to be an equally powerful warrior, Tetsunosuke couldn’t help fearing Saitou more because of his silence, which was all the more unnerving.

As he approached Saitou’s quarters, Tetsunosuke tried to stay calm and focused. The members who’d been around since the beginning spoke favourably of the captain, praising his skills and his single-mindedness in accomplishing missions. Saitou was on a first-name basis with those members and the leaders. He’d been with the Shinsengumi for years without problem, so there shouldn’t be a reason to fear meeting him _that_ much. They were comrades now, after all.

After taking a few deep breaths, Tetsunosuke plastered on an eager smile. He stepped into Saitou’s open doorway and called, “Captain Saitou! I have a letter for you from Vice-Chief!”

Saitou was sitting at his table with his back facing the doorway, hunched over and weapons absent from view.

Letting half a minute pass first, Tetsunosuke called out again, “Captain Saitou? Sir?”

Saitou still didn’t stir.

Thinking maybe the captain had passed out or worse, Tetsunosuke excused himself and dashed inside and stopped a few feet short of the man. “Captain?”

With half his face hidden from view as per usual, Saitou let out a loud snore, his forehead plastered to his paperwork. “Zzz…”

Dread relaxed into relief, and Tetsunosuke smiled, thinking that the captain must’ve worked so hard today that he had decided to indulge in a nap. Tetsunosuke couldn’t remember ever seeing Hijikata nap and Kondou was rarely lethargic. In fact, the only leader who could be found napping half the time, sometimes during meetings, was Okita.

Tetsunosuke moved forward to place the letter on the desk, hoping not to wake him. He had barely taken one step when the tip of a sword stopped inches from his face with Saitou’s slit-eyed gaze locked on him.

Yelping, blood turning cold, Tetsunosuke threw up both hands in surrender. “C-C-Captain Saitou!!”

Saitou blinked and then withdrew his sword quickly, jumping to his feet and waving his hands around frantically.

Unsure of what his actions were conveying, Tetsunosuke thrust the letter out in front of him, both hands shaking, heart pounding in his ear. “I-I’m sorry for disturbing you, Captain, but I have a letter from Vice-Chief! We haven’t met formally before, but I’m Vice-Chief’s assistant, Sasaki Tetsunosuke, at your service!”

Saitou pulled down his scarf and revealed eyes and a smile so wide that blood vessels and molars were clearly visible.

It was the single most terrifying sight Tetsunosuke had ever seen in his life – about on par with Hijikata’s own crazed grin when he was in a furious and bloodthirsty mood.

Screeching, Tetsunosuke turned and fled the room and sprinted down the veranda, still clutching the letter. He didn’t stop until a hand pushed against his shoulder and a shadow flew overhead. Saitou deftly landed in front of him, forcing Tetsunosuke to skid to a stop, sputtering and gasping for breath.

Saitou held up a notepad: _Apologies, I did not mean to scare you-Z. I am still working on improving my smile-Z._ His eyes shone in earnest.

Feeling silly for overreacting and losing his composure so easily, Tetsunosuke shook his head. “P-Please accept my humblest apology for running away, Captain! I promise I won’t do it again.” He remembered the letter and held it out, wincing at the deep creases in the envelope caused gripping it so tightly. “A letter from Vice Chief, sir!”

Saitou scribbled on a fresh page: _Thank you for delivering it, Sasaki Tetsunosuke-Z._ After this, he took the letter.

“You are most welcome!”

_I hope we can be friends-Z._

Tetsunosuke blinked. Be friends with the captain, someone so far above him in rank and skill and privilege? And after displaying a poor impression of himself? The idea was absurd and yet Saitou stood there unmoving and waiting for an answer.

After a moment, Tetsunosuke nodded, a smile breaking out. “Yes, of course we can!” Perhaps they would share a drink during one of the nights in which the men were permitted to relax and celebrate someone’s birthday or a victory over their enemies. “I would be honoured to be your friend, Captain…Saitou? Sir?”

“Zzz…” A bubble of mucus seeped down from Saitou’s nose in conjunction with his snoring. Incredibly, he had managed to fall right back asleep while standing and holding his notebook.

No force on earth could probably wrench him from his dreams, and Tetsunosuke, who stared in awe, didn’t want to risk disturbing the man again. Copious amounts of sleep had to be the secret to Saitou’s strength and maybe even Okita’s since he was also a serial napper and accomplished swordsman. The idea alone was worth a try, but Tetsunosuke doubted he could get away with it under Hijikata’s rule. He stashed the idea away in his mind behind the idea of eating a mayonnaise special again.

“Rest easy, Captain.” Tetsunosuke saluted in parting with a smile, and then hurried off to receive his next task from Hijikata.

* * *

“Should we really be doing this…?” Tetsunosuke glanced nervously at the closed entrance of the storage shed, expecting Hijikata to appear at any second and unleash all hellish fury on them for daring to slack off and read comics.

“ _Relax_ ,” said the bespectacled Goda, another solider Tetsunosuke was quickly getting to know, “Vice-Chief is out on patrol with Captain Okita, so they’ll definitely be gone a long time – they always are because of the Captain’s tendency to disrupt society more than criminals do.” He set down his comic and stared at Tetsunosuke over the top of his glasses, smirking. “It’s not we’re thirteen-years-old and reading adult magazines in my room with my mom in the house. Don’t be so straight-laced!”

“It’s not so bad to take a break,” Yamazaki added, reading a volume of _Princess of Tennis_ up against a sliver of light in between the wood panels.

“Y-Yes, but _this_ …” Tetsunosuke gestured with a hand to the pile of comic books in the middle of the dusty wood floor. “Vice-Chief recommends that we make use of our spare time by training more or meditating on what it means to be a samurai!”

“Like he doesn’t read manga himself,” Goda scoffed, blowing strands of light brown hair out of his eyes.

“Technically, we’re allowed to read _Magazine_ ,” Nakashima corrected, turning a page in his own issue, “but that’s because Vice Chief reads it.”

Tetsunosuke recalled spying a copy of _Magazine_ in a drawer of unlocked possessions when he had straightened up and wiped down Hijikata’s quarters, but thought Hijikata might’ve taken it by accident from one of the members. It seemed outlandish for a man of Hijikata’s reputation to be reading comic books, but apparently it was true.

“My most favourite series are in _Jump_ and it’s the same for half the force, so we keep a collection hidden here, which we had to transfer from the dojo storage room.” Nakashima paused and looked up with a slight frown. “Why did we have to move again?”

“Vice-Chief caught us reading,” Yamazaki answered, setting down his manga and absently rubbing around his chest, as though remembering an old wound. “But he wasn’t really himself that time…”

“Oh, right…” Nakashima looked at him. “Where were you, anyway? I don’t remember you during the battle.”

“I was unconscious and people thought I was dead…don’t you remember, you all held a funeral for me?”

“I remember a funeral for the old man’s dog, but not you.”

“But my photo was right beside the dog!”

“Sorry.” Nakashima resumed his reading. “Don’t remember.”

“I don’t, either,” Goda added without looking up.

The _Princess of Tennis_ volume crumpled in Yamazaki’s hands.

Tetsunosuke asked, “So, you buy every week’s issue?”

“Otsuka-senpai brings us new _Jump_ issues every week,” Yamazaki explained with a glum expression, “He’s married and doesn’t live here with us, so he’s free to buy _Jump_ and store it without violating regulation.”

“Ah, _damn!_ ” Goda threw his Jump issue down on the floor, gritting his teeth. “He’s _never_ gonna get to be Hokage!!”

“Don’t spoil it for me, you idiot!” Nakashima cried.

Still uncertain of the situation, Tetsunosuke opened his issue of _Jump_ and thumbed through the first few pages. A couple of the featured series _did_ seem interesting.

On one hand, Tetsunosuke didn’t want to disobey Hijikata, but on the other hand, it felt great to be trusted with a secret and welcomed into their midst. Others had already invited him out to drinks and some even complimented him on how long he’d lasted eating mayonnaise rice curry – idiotic but impressive.

Before he could weigh the pros and cons of choosing to join them and read _Jump_ in secrecy, he found himself engrossed in a chapter featuring a magical swordsman battling a vampire gunslinger for the rights to a killer notebook created by an elaborate alchemic circle—

“—skipping out on patrol to play tennis again, I bet, that _slacker—_ ” The door slid open, revealing Hijikata.

Tetsunosuke almost fainted.

The rest cried out in terrified surprise, “Vice-Chief!”

Eyes widening, Hijikata zeroed in on Yamazaki first and growled, “There you are, _damn you!_ Think you can get away with slacking off on your duties? You were supposed to report for afternoon patrol!”

Yamazaki cowered behind his manga, sweating. “How did you find me—I mean, I was just on my way, Vice-Chief! Honest!”

“You can thank your trail of anpan wrappers for leading me to you,” Hijikata barked, and then snapped his gaze to Tetsunosuke, who shrank back in fear. “Tetsu!”

“V-V-Vice-Chief, I was—”

“Don’t waste my time with excuses! I’m pissed right now because I had to fill out a police report on the _Shinsengumi_ for something _Sougo_ did _and_ for his damaging the news reporters’ video equipment!”

“Hijikata-saaan, Hijikata-saaan,” Okita drawled, coming up behind him and looking down at the trembling group of men with mild interest. “You were the one destroying their equipment. _I’m_ not camera-shy.”

Hijikata spun around and jabbed a finger at him, crunching his cigarette in half. “You shut up! It’s because of YOU that our reputation has taken another downward spiral this month!”

“And threatening to jam the lenses down their throats isn’t contributing to the downward spiral?” Okita shook his head, clicking his tongue while suddenly holding up Nakashima by the roots of his hair. “Hijikata-san, when will you learn that violence is not the answer?”

“C-C-Captain!” Nakashima gasped, eyes watering, hands grasping at his hair, “If you don’t let go, I’m gonna go bald!! Bald like Captain Harada! I’ll never get a date if I’m bald! I can’t pull off the bald look like him!!”

“But think of the money you can save on shampoo,” Okita said matter-of-factly, “I’m doing you a favour.”

Tears streamed down Nakashima’s face. “ _Captain!!_ ”

“ _Enough_ , Sougo.” Hijikata loosed a cigarette free from its box and lit up. “Drop him.”

Okita opened his hand.

Nakashima fell to the ground, whimpering and smoothing down his hair.

“Are you going soft, Hijikata-san?” Okita asked.

Hijikata blew smoke, holding his cigarette out with a cruel smile forming on his lips. “Not at all. I’ve decided that _personally_ punishing these idiots is a good way to blow off steam instead of talking to a dumbass like you.”

Several punches and reprimands later, Tetsunosuke lay sprawled out on the ground, groaning in pain along with the others. It was not wise to ignore express orders from their vice-chief.

Hijikata entered the shed and returned with an armful of manga. He dropped them to the ground and kicked some aside, tearing some pages out in the process. “ _Nonsensical_ stories. _Complete_ garbage. They should be _burned!_ ”

Staggering to his feet and wiping blood away from his mouth, Yamazaki asked, “Uh, Vice-Chief…can I have the _Princess of Tennis_ volume back? It’s a collectors’ edition and— _oof!_ ” He took a direct hit to his forehead with the manga volume and toppled backward onto the ground, dust clouding up with one quivering finger in the midst of it. “T-Thank you!”

“Every single one of you idiots will clean _all_ the bathrooms for a month,” Hijikata declared gruffly, glaring at them. “Maybe by then you’ll realize how superior _Magazine_ is. _Jump_ will rot what’s left of your brains!”

“Yes, Vice-Chief!” they chimed together.

Hijikata drew his sword and stepped toward Yamazaki, who was just sitting up at that moment. “As for _you_ , Yamazaki – commit seppuku right now for neglecting patrol duties!”

Yamazaki flinched and scrambled to his feet again, backing away. “Annnn!! Why only me??”

A man with a chonmage dashed over to the stack of ruined books and threw his hands to the sides of his head, crying, “My _Jump_ collection!!”

Hijikata turned on him in an instant, scowling and pointing the sword at him. “So these were yours, eh? You’re admitting you’re single-handedly responsible for the corruption of the Shinsengumi with inferior stories of undisciplined main characters that have no regard for rules and their leaders??”

“Y-Yes!! I mean, no!! I mean, _yes_ , they’re mine, but— _noooo!!_ ” Otsuka ducked a sword swing and ran for his life with an irate vice-chief hot on his heels, yelling and cursing at him.

Groaning, Tetsunosuke sat up and gingerly touched his bleeding nose, fingertips coming away with smeared blood. A shadow fell over him and he looked up.

Okita took out a blue toothbrush from his pocket and held it out in offering. “You can borrow this for cleaning,” he said, “This will help you to clean deep within the recesses of the toilets.”

On the flat head of the brush, there was a tiny doodle of a company logo for the best-selling brand of mayonnaise. Tetsunosuke didn’t need to make any sort of educated guess as to whose it was and didn’t dare ask why or how long Okita had been carrying it around.

“Just make sure to put it back in Hijikata’s room when you’re done,” Okita continued, shoving his hand back into his pocket. “Always return things that you borrow.” Though he wore no smile, his eyes gleamed with some sort of nefarious glee that Tetsunosuke could only describe as belonging to myths and legends of monsters capable of unspeakable horror.

“Y-Yes, Captain!” Tetsunosuke replied quickly, a shiver running down his spine, deciding it was better to take the toothbrush for now in case Okita decided to dish out punishment of his own for disobedience. 

* * *

So far, Tetsunosuke counted himself lucky that he hadn’t encountered Okita up close and personal again since the comics and toothbrush incident. The sword prodigy was frequently busy with carrying out orders from Kondou that went above and beyond petty crime. Judging by the report logs Tetsunosuke read and archived, the First Unit saw the most action with Joui patriots and it made sense to send out a unit, whose captain was the quite possibly the best swordsman they had in the force, to hunt down their greatest foes. Due to his administrative work, Tetsunosuke rarely saw opportunities to work with or under Okita’s leadership.

But that all changed one early evening when Tetsunosuke found himself in the back of a patrol car next to Okita. He had been expecting to go with the Fifth Unit, but had been unceremoniously kicked headfirst into this car.

When asked why, Okita had answered, “Hijikata said to take you with me, give you a taste of real battle.”

That sounded odd, given Hijikata’s warnings, but maybe he had changed his mind.

“Actually, he said to send you with Takeda, but I’ve got him doing something else. Not to worry, though—” Okita had turned to him with deep red eyes and the tiniest of smiles on his lips. “I’ll make sure you have a worthwhile experience on the front lines.”

Tetsunosuke gulped.

They were on their way to a district purported to be ripe with Joui rebel hideouts. Thanks to Yamazaki’s reconnaissance, they were endeavoring to capture a particularly juicy quarry:

Katsura Koutarou.

Or, Code 21, as Tetsunosuke recalled from the list.

The Fifth Unit, which Tetsunosuke was originally appointed to for tonight’s mission, would approach in patrol cars and block every possible exit. The First Unit would infiltrate on stealthier terms so as not to alert Katsura or any other allies in the area. In fact, most of them were already deployed throughout the district in civilian clothing. The remaining four, Tetsunosuke and Okita included, were officially entering the area as Shinsengumi on visibly active duty.

Tetsunosuke was here under orders from Hijikata, who told him that running errands and managing the archives was not enough. He needed experience in field operations, which usually consisted of hunting down Joui rebels, protecting government officials, and otherwise taking care of highly advanced military matters that were beyond regular police forces.

Only the higher-ups and a few select members knew about Tetsunosuke’s past Joui connections and he intended to keep it that way. If anyone still doubted his loyalties, now was the time to prove otherwise and gain their confidence. Avoiding Okita was impossible, so Tetsunosuke vowed to learn from the captain instead of wasting time worrying about him.

“Captain Okita,” Tetsunosuke began, breaking the silence amid the comforting hum of the vehicle, “Do you have any advice on how to win a battle?”

Okita blew out bubblegum that popped with a _snap_. “Not dying usually works.”

“Ah, yes…that would help, I imagine,” Tetsunosuke replied with a forced chuckle. “Anything else…?”

Okita glanced at him, chewing loudly. “I can’t tell you everything. That’s cheating.”

“Cheating?”

“Yeah. Like when you go online to search for cheat codes and walk-throughs to clear a difficult level. Mario never got past Donkey Kong like that.”

“Eh? Donkey Kong? Mario?” How could tracking Joui patriots be compared to old video games?

“Yeah, to save Princess Peach.”

“Actually, Captain, it was Pauline,” said Kamiyama, their driver and known admirer of Okita. “In the original game, she was the damsel—ahhhh!!”

“Like I said, Pauline. Mario never cheated to save her and win the game, and he had no help,” Okita said while jamming his scabbard into Kamiyama’s neck, causing the car to swerve side to side as Kamiyama fought to maintain control of the steering wheel. “You have to be like Mario. You have to learn how to get to the top by yourself.”

“Well said, Captain!” Kamiyama wheezed out, gripped the steering wheel and swerving to avoid an oncoming truck. “You are truly wise! And please do that again!!”

“There’s nothing more disgraceful than a cheater,” Okita continued, pulling his scabbard back and setting it on his lap. “Except Hijikata – in which case, it’s better to be a cheater than a Hijikata.”

Tetsunosuke blinked, trying to follow this line of logic. “Uh, yes, Captain…I think I understand!”

“We’re here, sir,” said Eguchi, the last member of their patrol car party.

They parked in a wide alley and exited the vehicle. A soldier in civilian clothes crossed the street and met with them, reporting that a duck-like Amanto had been spotted earlier, walking into a restaurant that was hosting karaoke night for seniors. The Amanto had been walking with a cane, wearing a grey curly-haired wig and a pair of thick glasses.

“I know that duck. Katsura is definitely in there, then,” Okita remarked, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Is everyone in position?”

“Yes, Captain,” replied the soldier whose name Tetsunosuke couldn’t remember, “We’ve surrounded the building. Yamazaki is inside and keeping an eye on things. Four are stationed at the back door. The Fifth Unit is on standby, in case things get a little crazy.”

“Fine.” Okita turned to Tetsunosuke. “Well, lead the way.”

Tetsunosuke froze, wondering if he’d heard correctly. “S-Sir?”

“I don’t like repeating myself.”

“Sorry, Captain, but—you said ‘lead the way?’” Didn’t captains lead their troops first? “But I’ve never been in a raid before!”

“The best thing for the inexperienced is to gain experience and lots of it as soon as possible,” Okita said plainly, like it was the most obvious piece of advice in the world, “Like going down the pipe and discovering a cavern full of coins. Extra points for extra effort. Remember, be a Mario.”

“B-B-But—!!”

“Pauline won’t wait forever. Move it.”

With Eguchi’s expression of helpless sympathy and Kamiyama nodding vigorously in agreement, Tetsunosuke resigned himself to the inevitable. Clearing his throat, he started walking down the center of the busy street, all eyes drawn to him and the uniform he wore.

Uneasy about leading everyone into the core of the situation, Tetsunosuke mustered all the courage he could and thought about Kondou and Hijikata’s past emboldening speeches. Hijikata, especially, would want him to be brave and take the initiative whenever possible.

“Be vigilant, Tetsu,” Eguchi said in a low voice, “Katsura is known for disguising himself. He could be anyone in the room – man, woman, or even objects.”

Tetsunosuke nodded, grateful for some solid advice for once.

“He’s especially fond of wigs—oww!!”

“What did I say about cheaters?” Okita said from behind them, having smacked Eguchi’s head with his fist.

“My apologies, Captain!”

Tetsunosuke gulped and resumed his stride ahead. Be like Mario, Okita had said, but Tetsunosuke decided that being like Hijikata was a better fit. March upright with his chin jutting out and wear a steely expression. Let any would-be lawbreakers in the vicinity know he meant business and that no one would mess around with the assistant of Hijikata Toushirou without paying for it.

“You’re too stiff. Loosen up,” Okita said, “We’re not a marching band.”

Tetsunosuke reddened. “I’m not s-stiff!!”

“Are you sure about this, Captain?” Kamiyama whispered loudly, “Entrusting him to lead the raid? Isn’t he just an office lackey?”

Tetsunosuke’s face fell at the last part, though he hid it from them.

“Hijikata said he needs experience and that’s what he’ll get. Now take a breath mint and shut up.”

“Yes, Captain! Taking a breath mint right now, sir!”

Tetsunosuke was certain Hijikata didn’t mean leading a raid counted as the experience he wanted for Tetsunosuke right now, because that was far too much for a greenhorn. It was reckless of Okita to go through with this when they were planning to smoke out a famous Joui rebel and admittedly one of the most dangerous. But maybe that was how the earliest members of the Shinsengumi, including the younger Okita, had learned – by plunging headlong into the deep and learning how to swim through survival instinct alone.

The _Happy Quail_ was a restaurant suitable for large gatherings and events, allowing for in-house dining, take-out delivery, and outside catering – always busy and always crowded. Golden light from the windows spilled out into the night-darkened streets, revealing a lively atmosphere of old folks singing, drinking, eating, and laughing. There was no sign of the duck Amanto, and as for Katsura himself, he could be any one of the customers or even the wait staff.

An elderly woman stepped out from the entranceway and hobbled over to the Shinsengumi, clutching a cane in a hunched position.

“Madam,” Tetsunosuke began, “Please step aside and head for safety—”

“It’s me, Yamazaki.”

Tetsunosuke did a double take when he recognized Yamazaki’s voice and facial features beneath the make-up, the well-drawn wrinkle lines, and a grey wig with a hair bun.

Okita cut in, “Have you found Katsura?”

Yamazaki straightened up, his face grim. “Not yet, but Elizabeth went into the kitchen a few minutes ago. Before that, she was at the back, eating a beef bowl. She held up signs when one of the men started singing. That one.” He pointed to an elderly man with long silver hair, sitting near the window and clapping his hands at the current singer. “I suspect that’s Katsura. He was the one she held up signs for.”

Tetsunosuke stared at the man before he became aware that nobody was saying anything. He looked back at Okita, who was staring at him in turn, apparently waiting. “Yes, Captain?”

“You’re leading this raid. What’re you going to do next?”

“Uh…we should arrest that man?”

“And what if he isn’t actually Katsura?”

Tetsunosuke glanced at Yamazaki. “But Yamazaki-senpai is the Shinsengumi’s top spy, so he must’ve ensured Katsura’s identity—”

Yamazaki smiled. “Thank you—”

“Zaki’s made a mistake more than once,” Okita interrupted, causing Yamazaki to cringe, “Don’t base your decisions on feelings. False arrests are a hassle and often result in the real culprit escaping. You don’t want me to report back to Hijikata that you let Katsura escape, do you?”

“N-No!” Tetsunosuke could feel beads of sweat sliding down his forehead and even his back, finding the uniform heavier and harder to breathe in. It was almost as if _he_ was under investigation instead of Katsura. “Then, we should…evacuate the people first? And question them?”

Okita tilted his head. “That’s even more of a hassle, but, fortunately for you, that plan has already been set in motion.” Behind him, more undercover officers had made their presence known, forming a semi-circle in front of the restaurant, stopping the flow of people in either direction and discouraging rubbernecked bystanders. “Our first duty is to protect the citizens, especially the elderly.” Okita sighed. “It’s a real pain, but Kondou-san says we have to prioritize their safety first above capturing the criminal.”

Of course, Okita Sougo _would_ prefer direct and immediate confrontation. “I understand, Captain.”

Kamiyama’s radio transmitter at his collar buzzed with a muffled voice. “Copy that, over,” Kamiyama said and then addressed Okita, “Captain Takeda is deploying a platoon to assist the First Unit and catch any suspicious stragglers, sir. They’ve already apprehended a handful of Joui rebels.”

“Good. Evacuate the restaurant. I’m going to go check out kitchen. Eguchi, stand guard and don’t let anyone through.”

“Yes, sir,” Eguchi replied, drawing his sword and following after Okita.

“As expected of the Captain,” Kamiyama said after Okita and Eguchi walked in, “He always covers all openings!”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he just went back to get a free meal,” Yamazaki remarked dully.

“Captain Okita would never!”

Tetsunosuke followed the men inside where Okita was speaking with the headwaiter. Kamiyama’s booming voice ordered all patrons to file out in an orderly manner and reassured them of police protection. Music died down and the jovial atmosphere dissipated, as worried murmurs passed through the crowd, slowly standing up and leaving. Tetsunosuke kept his eye on the long-haired man, who was helping another customer up from their seat.

“I’ll join them when they pass us,” Yamazaki whispered to Tetsunosuke, “You lead these people out.”

“Understood!” Tetsunosuke hurried to the entrance and guided people out, directing them to officers of the First Unit, who were leading them away to the other side of the street. “Please watch your step! Remain calm! Move as quickly as you can!”

“What’s going on?” asked a balding man, concern etched on his wrinkled features, arms holding a beef bowl. “Is there a fire?”

“No fire, but you’ll have to hurry, sir! Follow the rest—”

“It’s not sir, it’s Katsura.”

At that moment, a lock of black hair slipped out from what Tetsunosuke now realized was a bald cap. The man – or rather, Katsura Koutarou – cursed and tried to push his hair back underneath without letting go of the beef bowl.

“C-Code 21, Code 21!” Tetsunosuke shouted, heart racing as he drew his sword. “I’ve found Katsura Koutarou—” He yelped when Katsura threw the bald cap at his face, blinding him for a brief moment. When he tore it off, he saw that Katsura had taken down a few officers, still clutching his beef bowl, black hair flying free.

The duck Amanto named Elizabeth burst out from the alleyway, holding up a sword and sign: _IDIOT, WHY DIDN’T YOU KEEP QUIET?_

“Realism is important to playing a role!” Katsura called back, single-handedly taking on every Shinsengumi soldier that charged him. “A man at that age would be concerned about fires due to his decreased mobility!”

_YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO COMPLICATE THINGS._

“Now is not the time for arguments, Elizabeth!”

A series of war cries erupted from across the street. As many as ten Joui rebels left their hiding places and engaged in battle with the Shinsengumi officers.

“Stand your ground!” Kamiyama shouted, “Protect the elders!”

“Do not harm any of the civilians!” Katsura likewise ordered to his men, “Except for the Shinsengumi dogs disguised as civilians – take them down! Send them back to their cages weeping with their tails between their legs!”

Tetsunosuke placed himself between the fighting and the evacuating seniors. “Remain calm!” he repeated, “Follow the person in front of you! You are being led to safety!”

“So, we meet again, Okita Sougo!”

Tetsunosuke glanced over to see Katsura changing his tactic and running straight back to the restaurant.

Okita emerged from the entrance, sword in hand with a maniacal grin, other arm holding a bowl of pork cutlet on rice. “Today’s your death day, Katsura!”

“He really _did_ go back there to eat!!” Yamazaki cried.

“What do we do now?” Tetsunosuke asked, unable to take his eyes off the ensuing battle. Okita and Katsura exchanged blows while protecting their meals to the amazement of all.

Yamazaki clenched his teeth, also watching the battle with a lopsided wig. “We do nothing—except believe in Captain Okita.”

Hijikata had warned never to trust Okita in trivial matters, but everyone in the Shinsengumi knew they could count on Okita to successfully defeat all his enemies. But even the battle between Katsura and Saitou had ended in a draw and Saitou was no slouch next to Okita. Many people considered Katsura a war hero, despite his government-branded status as a traitor and terrorist. He was a general who had survived countless battles to the present day, known as one of the Four Heavenly Kings. This fight between Katsura and Okita, already a hero among the Shinsengumi, would be one for the books.

“You think you can steal my dinner from me like you do with the people’s money, government dog??”

“Who’d want your disgusting meal, terrorist?”

“Ha, ha, ha! I will have you know that this is succulent Kobe beef, the likes of which even _you_ would give your eyeteeth for!”

“Liar. As if a lowbrow criminal like you could afford Kobe beef.”

“Are they even taking this seriously?” Yamazaki yelled, “Captain Okita, drop the bowl!!”

An elderly woman tripped over her kimono slip and collapsed into the street. Distracted by her scream, Katsura glanced at her.

That was all Okita needed – he thrust his sword forward, slicing Katsura’s left shoulder, forcing him to drop the beef bowl.

“Fool!” Katsura cried, “You would take advantage of an old woman’s misstep just to defeat me?!”

But Okita had also lunged forward himself, abandoning the pork cutlet bowl and catching Katsura’s meal. Okita landed on his stomach at Katsura’s feet.  

Seeing his own opportunity, Katsura grinned and swung his sword downward, intending to stab Okita from above.

“Captaaaiinnnn!” Kamiyama yelled.

Whistles and sirens stopped Katsura from delivering the end blow. Shinsengumi patrol cars raced onto the scene, tires screeching to a halt as soldiers poured out, swords drawn and raised.

Kondou and Hijikata were among them, calling out orders, as they made a beeline for Katsura.

“Elizabeth, I suggest a hasty retreat now!” Katsura shouted, parrying an undercut from Okita’s sword. The Joui leader leaped backward and ran toward Elizabeth, the other Joui soldiers following them. Hitching a ride on Elizabeth’s back, Katsura raised his sword in farewell. “Until next time, Shinsengumi scum!”

“After them!” Kondou shouted over the chaos. “Sougo, you alright?” He ran over to Okita’s side, closely flanked by Hijikata.

Tetsunosuke stepped forward, as well, awaiting further orders from Hijikata. All the elders were safely evacuated now.

“It was a bit of a challenge this time, but I finally got it,” Okita replied, cradling the beef bowl in his arms as he climbed to his feet. He licked his lips. “I haven’t had Kobe beef in so long.”

“You dumbass!!” Hijikata snapped and slapped the back of Okita’s head. “You were supposed to capture Katsura, not his _meal!_ ”

Okita rubbed his head, a flicker of annoyance passing through his eyes. “That hurts, Hijikata-san. I _was_ going to share this with you out of the goodness of my heart, but never mind.”

“Like hell you were! You don’t have any ounce of goodness at all! You’ve probably rigged it with a bomb by now!”

“Bomb…” Okita’s eyes widened and he looked down at the beef bowl.

Before Tetsunosuke could blink, the bowl exploded and showered sparks, rice, beef strips, and ceramic shards over all of them.

His clothes and hair smoking, a seething Hijikata now realized Tetsunosuke was there and coughed out, “Tetsu! What did you learn from this ordeal?”

Wiping rice off his head, Tetsunosuke thought for a moment, and then answered, “That I should be a Mario, sir!”

“What the hell are you talking about??”

“Mario never had help to get to the top and defeat his enemies,” Tetsunosuke explained, “That’s what I learned from Captain Okita! Be a Mario!”

Hijikata’s temple vein throbbed. “That’s completely wrong! What did I tell you about trusting Sougo?”

“I’m sorry, Vice-Chief!”

“Mario _has_ help! Mario has Yoshi!”

“…Sir?”

* * *

_Clack._

“Your ‘elite training’ is showing again. Trying to outwit me with fancy moves won’t work.”

_Clack._

“Advance with your right, not your left.”

_Clack._

“Stop dragging your feet.”

_Thump._

Air whooshed out from his lungs, as Tetsunosuke smacked the ground on his stomach, shinai slipping from his grip and rolling somewhere off to the side. Panting, he pushed himself to his knees and leaned back on his haunches, wiping perspiration from his forehead with the back of his hand.

Glaring, Hijikata loomed over him, his own shinai resting on his shoulder with no signs of fatigue anywhere. Of course not. He wasn’t fighting a challenging opponent.

“Did you skip out on rudimentary footwork when you were learning? Your feet are too close together, making it easy for me to throw you off-balance. Don’t make me waste my time re-teaching you the damn basics. _Get up_.”  

During their practice time together, scolding was as frequent as sweating, and both were only augmented by tonight’s humid air and Tetsunosuke’s desire to improve quickly and possibly impress Hijikata with his progress in the last month. Since the Mimawarigumi and Joui incident, Hijikata had taken to personally training Tetsunosuke twice a week. Otherwise, he was expected to learn and practice along the rest of the Shinsengumi in order to develop a good rapport with his comrades.

Tetsunosuke knew Hijikata didn’t hand out his time like money and usually worked alongside Kondou in training the men as a group, so to receive one-on-one training with him like this was an honour and an opportunity Tetsunosuke vowed to make the most of. He was painfully aware of how much he lagged behind the rest. Wearing their uniform before even reaching their average level of skill shamed him.

Reaching for his shinai and climbing to his feet, Tetsunosuke squared his shoulders and ran through proper beginning form. Mindful of his feet this time, Tetsunosuke advanced and resumed the spar with Hijikata. Shinai strikes reverberated off the dojo walls, as Tetsunosuke fought to gain the upper hand, brow furrowed deep in concentration and mounting frustration. Hijikata parried every blow, no matter where Tetsunosuke aimed, and made doing so look like child’s play.

Hijikata struck him hard in his right upper arm, forcing Tetsunosuke backward, wincing and stumbling, absorbing the pain with sharp hisses between clenched teeth.

Tetsunosuke moved to attack again, faster than before, but Hijikata was faster still—he dodged the strike and pressed the end of his shinai against Tetsunosuke’s jugular vein area, cold against clammy skin.

“Mind your neck or you’re a dead man.”

Tetsunosuke swallowed and nodded, stepping back.

“Again,” Hijikata said, tone flat, shinai out in front, steady and waiting.

Tetsunosuke surged forward, yelling out as he did, blinking against beads of sweat rolling into his eyes. Exhaustion gnawed at every limb, but he was determined to improve at least one notch above his skill level tonight. He had to push away discouragement and refrain from complaints, because Hijikata tolerated neither and had lectured him more than once on endurance.

Hijikata’s eyes, though cool and unrelenting, never possessed a hint of mockery unlike the Sasaki household and all other instructors Tetsunosuke had ever learned under. He knew he wasn’t the ideal warrior; that Isaburou had impressed their teachers and father with ease while Tetsunosuke disappointed them.

Perseverance, not prestige, mattered most to Hijikata.

Tetsunosuke failed to deflect a blow. Hijikata backed off, as did Tetsunosuke, silently acknowledging the loss.

“ _Again_.”

Taking a deep breath, Tetsunosuke licked his lips and assumed an offensive position, but his eyes widened when Hijikata charged him. He barely had time to bring his guard up, crossing blades with his face inches away from Hijikata’s weapon.

Hijikata attacked unceasingly, the force of each strike driving Tetsunosuke closer and closer toward the wall. Not a single movement was wasted with Hijikata’s agility and perceptible mastery of the sword.

With each passing second, Tetsunosuke found it harder to focus on defense and easier to lose himself in Hijikata’s battle-hardened gaze that served to destroy Tetsunosuke’s withering confidence—and reminded him that Hijikata was in another league completely. Vowing that he would become stronger than Hijikata someday and telling him just that over a month ago suddenly seemed like a foolish dream.

The match was over in seconds.

Tetsunosuke’s shinai clattered to the floor, and for a moment, the only sound in the room was his quick breaths, as he stared down the tip Hijikata’s shinai, feet rooted to the floor in fear.

“Your chances of dying in battle have gone down by one percent.”

Tetsunosuke fought the urge to smile to himself over Hijikata’s subtle and unusual encouragement, and simply nodded. This was no laughing matter. Calculated movement or unintentional mistakes made all the difference between life and death.

“As you are right now, I would not trust you with my back in battle.”

The words hung in the air like deadweight—exactly how Tetsunosuke had been feeling for the past month, none more so than this very moment. Assisting Hijikata and occasionally Kondou in matters of protocol and paperwork didn’t compare to battlefield efficiency. With just a few words – depending on what they were and who they came from – his self-confidence was still easily shattered.

“I apologize, Vice-Chief…” Tetsunosuke swallowed hard with a sinking heart, adding in a meek voice, “I know I am not worthy enough to be a samurai.” The Sasaki household had never withheld such an opinion that he had internalized over the course of his life. “I’m too fat, too slow, and I never completed my training back home—” He yelped when Hijikata thumped the top of his head with the shinai.

“Who the _hell_ said all that?”

Anticipating a bump tomorrow morning, Tetsunosuke rubbed his head with one hand, wincing at the pain and at Hijikata’s stormy eyes and scowl.

“I have no patience for defeatist attitudes. Get rid of that crap or commit seppuku.”

“Y-Yes, sir!” Tetsunosuke dropped his arm and stationed himself into a formal, alert position as befitting a solider.

“Now you _listen_ here.” Hijikata rested his shinai on his shoulder with his other arm akimbo. “I said I wouldn’t trust you with my back in battle right _now_. I didn’t say _never_. You still have a lot of work to do. If I sent you to the frontlines in war tomorrow, you’d die, no question—that is, if no one reaches you in time and there won’t always be someone there. _My_ _job_ to ensure you are ready for battle at a moment’s notice and that you _survive_ to the end of it.

“As for your low opinion of yourself, I don’t give a damn. All that matters to me is that you work hard and follow my lead. Talk yourself down in front of me again and I’ll give you something worthwhile to cry about, mark my words,” Hijikata finished in a menacing tone, glowering at him, “Am I clear?”

Tetsunosuke nodded, shuddering. “Y-Yes—”

“Speak up!”

“Sir, yes, sir!”

“You damn idiot.”

“My apologies, sir!”

“ _Shut up_. Did you complete your swings this morning?”

“Yes, sir!”

“How many sets?”

“Three, sir!” Three sets of one thousand swings.

“Double that starting tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir!”

“You’re done for today. Leave me.”

“Right away, sir.” Tetsunosuke bowed. “Thank you very much, Vice-Chief.”

Hijikata merely grunted in response.

Tetsunosuke grabbed his towel and patted his face dry on the way out of the practice room, chest still heaving from exertion. The bath was going to feel wonderful before the sweet embrace of sleep.

He chanced one final glance behind him and saw Hijikata with a towel of his own, dabbing at a sheen of sweat on his forehead. Tetsunosuke delighted in this small action, thinking that maybe he had given Hijikata a decent bout of exercise for once.

Lingering a moment longer, Tetsunosuke watched as Hijikata took up diagonal strikes, displaying proper form and solid concentration. However, having seen Hijikata on the battlefield, Tetsunosuke could easily imagine the ferocity of an untamed demon on the verge of delivering death. Even during their spar, Tetsunosuke could sense Hijikata restraining his true strength—but also, since the beginning, detected an increase in power each time they trained together. Little by little, Hijikata was strengthening Tetsunosuke by giving him a session tougher than last, honing his skill and stamina.

To think he had doubted himself and Hijikata’s benevolence in the process. The latter alone shamed him more than simply wearing the uniform.

The wall would never change, but a person could.

“Forgive me, Vice-Chief,” Tetsunosuke murmured, walking away from the dojo, his thoughts and vision of the future clearer than ever. “I’ll work hard and I won’t let you down. I _promise_.”

* * *

Hijikata had no qualms about yelling at soldiers or threatening them with seppuku. Everyone was expected to match or aspire to reach Hijikata’s high standards. To them, he was a prime example of the timeless noble samurai, striving to adhere to the Shinsengumi bushido even in ever modernizing times. He was the balance between the more callous Okita and more laidback Kondou: not as sadistically violent but not especially lenient. In spite of his common and brief attacks against Hijikata, Okita still yielded to the older man’s authority when necessary. Similarly, while holding a higher position with access to greater-ranked advisors, Kondou deferred to Hijikata’s judgment more often than not. For these reasons, everyone, including Tetsunosuke, fully trusted in Hijikata’s ability to lead them, knowing he had the greater good in mind for the entire military force and the country itself by default.

Besides, Tetsunosuke decided, getting yelled at by somebody like that was preferable to being ignored by family.

Growing up as the illegitimate son of the Sasaki household had, Tetsunosuke was used to harsh words and glares, but none of it was for his benefit. Disgust and disdain was clear as day in their eyes; disbelief over how someone like him had Sasaki blood flowing in his veins.

Then, there was Isaburou, the legitimate heir, the firstborn son, the man all others in their family’s social circle praised and respected. Unlike the rest of the family and their acquaintances, Isaburou did not openly regard Tetsunosuke with scorn. He seldom expressed anything at all. He spoke to Tetsunosuke in that same monotone voice he used with everyone else, occasionally with thinly veiled criticism bereft of any real emotional weight. Even when Tetsunosuke had unabashedly rebelled against traditional Sasaki values, favouring individual freedom and anything that didn’t count as an elite trait, Isaburou still didn’t react in anger, didn’t seek to lecture him or guide him in a better direction.

In Isaburou’s eyes, Tetsunosuke could feel that he amounted to nothing more than a piece of lint one brushed off one’s clothing, sparing no further thought it as something significant. Truthfully, that hurt more than anything their family – _Isaburou’s_ _family_ , really – could do or say to Tetsunosuke, and he didn’t know why it did, why it should matter more when Isaburou had used him and had been prepared to eliminate him to keep the Sasaki name blemish-free.

As a result, Hijikata’s deafening voice barking at him to practice harder or buy more mayonnaise didn’t bother Tetsunosuke in the least because Hijikata saw his every weakness and still acknowledged him. True to his demon nickname and reputation, Hijikata pushed and pushed, refusing to give up on Tetsunosuke, demanding he give his all until there was nothing left. Under his command, there was no room for self-pity and laziness. Every word Hijikata preached, every action he took, was for Kondou Isao’s sake and the betterment of the Shinsengumi—all so that they and the citizens of Edo might live to see another day.

Compared to the Sasaki and Mimawarigumi’s elite, pristine banners, Tetsunosuke preferred and willingly served under the tattered, stained banner that the Shinsengumi proudly waved in the face of adversity.


	2. Blood Thicker Than Water Can Be Diluted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who have read and left kudos and comments. Much appreciated.
> 
> Once again, I do not own Gintama or any of the series I reference. 
> 
> Part Two Theme Song: "Rush" by UVERworld

“Good morning, Vice-Chief!” Tetsunosuke knelt down in the open doorway of Hijikata’s quarters. “I brought you an energy-boosting mid-morning snack! An apple and a new bottle of mayonnaise! I noticed you were low on it this morning at breakfast!”

Cross-legged on the floor, Hijikata didn’t look up from his reading. “Take the apple. Leave the mayonnaise.”

“Yes, sir!” Tetsunosuke pocketed the apple for himself and placed the mayonnaise bottle just inside the room. “Anything else I can do for you? Do you need reading glasses? A fan? It _is_ quite warm today.”

“No, thanks.”

 “Or how about a massage?” 

“ _No._ ” 

“Very well, sir,” Tetsunosuke said quickly, sensing impending doom if he didn’t cut his inquiries short, “I finished re-organizing shelves C to D in the archives. You were right – they were sloppily put back after being used with papers sticking out and files in the wrong order. I also found an empty anpan wrapper stuffed in between some boxes.”

“Bring Yamazaki to me in an hour.”

“Yes, sir!” The underlying threat in Hijikata’s tone made Tetsunosuke shudder, thanking the gods he wasn’t in trouble this time. “Shall I continue re-organizing?”

“Yes— _wait_.” Hijikata looked up this time and reached for a small slip of paper off his desk. “Go get last week’s log reports from these captains. They’re late and if they don’t have them completed by the time you ask, they’re going to be punished alongside Yamazaki.”

Tetsunosuke was about to stand up and retrieve the list when somebody yelled from the courtyard:

_“Code 31! Code 31!”_

Hijikata let out an exasperated sigh and stood to his feet, dropping the report onto his desk. “Damn it, not again,” he grumbled, walking out of his quarters. Tetsunosuke followed suit.

Outside, soldiers were running back and forth, alerting others about Code 31. Some were sweeping the veranda and pruning the trees as well as gathering trash bags from around the complex.

Hijikata seized the shoulder of the first soldier running past his quarters. “ _What_ are you doing?”

The soldier winced at Hijikata’s sharp tone and replied, “Cleaning up, Vice-Chief! Last time she was here, she scolded us for slacking on cleaning duty and made us scrub down every place she saw dust or stains!”

That must’ve been before Tetsunosuke had joined. He had heard of this Shimura Tae over the past few months, but hadn’t personally encountered her yet. But everyone knew Kondou adored her and most of the Shinsengumi seemed to defer to her orders in fear much like they did for Hijikata.

Hijikata shoved him aside. “Ridiculous! You shouldn’t need her to tell you to do that when I’ve told you a hundred times already! Where is Kumanaku? He wouldn’t slack off on his cleaning duties.”

“He’s polishing the urinals again!” The soldier saluted quickly. “Sorry, Vice-Chief, I’ve got to go wash the dojo floors!” He spun on his heel and sprinted down the veranda.

Hijikata gripped the side of the doorframe until it splintered in his hands, and growled in a low voice, “Thinks she can run this place better than I can, does she?”

“Sir?”

Like a wolf, Hijikata snapped his gaze to Tetsunosuke, startling him like a rabbit. “Tetsu!”

“Sir!”

“Go find Kondou-san and tell him—”

A distant explosion rocked the compound briefly, and shouts of “She’s here! Code 31 emergency!” filled the air along with a plume of dust and smoke. 

“Shit! Come on.” Hijikata slipped into his boots and raced down the courtyard, Tetsunosuke following closing behind. “I have a feeling Kondou-san isn’t even here…”

“I didn’t see him at breakfast, sir!”

“Damn it!”

The other unspoken, troubling issue besides the potential rampage was Kondou’s habitual stalking of Tae. Tetsunosuke had heard Hijikata lecture Kondou on quitting numerous times, but bad habits proved hard to break. For awhile, Kondou had been doing well, choosing to vie for her affections like a normal person without overstepping his boundaries. 

Today he had failed, evidently.

They dashed around the corner and froze.

Pink kimono bright against the backdrop of smoke and debris with her soft brown ponytail fluttering in the breeze behind her was Shimura Tae, dragging their leader across the ground with one hand. 

“Kondou-san!!” 

“Chief!!”

“Good morning, Hijikata-san,” Tae said brightly, and Tetsunosuke would have seen her as a simple friendly woman if not for the icy edge in her tone and the chill that ran down his spine at the sight of her smile. “I took the liberty of using the back door today.”

“There _is_ no back door!”

Dropping Kondou to the ground, Tae touched a finger to her lips. “Really? I could have sworn there was. Kondou-san was even so kind as to open it for me.”

Kondou lifted a shaking finger up before he peeled his face off the ground with a grin. “Actually, she threw me into the wall.” He yelped when she pressed his upper body to the ground with a foot, and added, “But we needed a door back there, anyway, so Otae-chan did us a favour by getting the space ready!”

“How about doing us the favour of _not_ destroying property and dragging our leader around the district in his nightwear?!”

“Oh, certainly – as soon as you pay for the damages inflicted on my dojo and teach your leader to have some manners,” Tae replied smoothly, removing her foot from Kondou’s back and crossing her arms. “I found him in the tool shed. That’ll be 450,000 yen for repairs, supplies, and maintenance, plus an extra tip for my personally returning him to you and causing me to miss the rest of _Kendo Cop’s_ newest episode today. I believe you have my banking information already.”

Tetsunosuke stared in awe at this woman who had swept into the compound like a storm and casually demanded payment from Hijikata with Kondou splayed at her feet. Shimura Tae, one of the new Four Devas of Kabuki-chou and evidently a fearsome figure who required at least _two_ emergency codes in her name.

Kondou groaned and pushed himself off the ground. Being the closest, Tetsunosuke rushed to help him to his feet and guide him over to the veranda to sit and gather his bearings. 

“I already compensated you for your dojo last month,” Hijikata retorted, “and it took a huge chunk out of our maintenance budget! I know for a fact you bought that new television with the money from then—”

“Oh, who told you it was new and that I had one?”

Hijikata grit his teeth. “Kondou-san did…”

“Benefiting from his stalking with insider information on my dojo, I see. I figured that might be the case because you don’t visit nearly as often as your chief—or maybe you’ve taken up his stalking habits and know how to hide yourself well.” Tae sighed, shaking her head and lifting her gaze to the sky. “I have only the genes of my ancestors to blame for making me as beautiful as I am to invite such vigorous courtship from the leaders of the Shinsengumi.” 

“What, Toushi, you’ve been visiting the Shimuras??” Kondou piped up, eyes wide as he turned to Hijikata. “Without _me_??”

Hijikata scowled. “As if I have time to visit people, much less a vain—” A flying sandal smacked his mouth, knocking him to the ground on his back, dust puffing up around him.

“Vice-Chief!”

“Toushiiiii!”

“Confidence isn’t vanity, Hijikata-san,” Tae remarked, calmly walking over to him, offering a brief smile to Tetsunosuke, and then bending down to retrieve and place her sandal back on her foot. “Nor is speaking a simple truth.”

Until now, Tetsunosuke had held his tongue, afraid to speak and catch the attention of Tae. With her turning that deceptively sweet smile on him, freezing his blood into place, Tetsunosuke understood the meaning of true fear.

“Besides, you could use a little vanity yourself, knowing you and your disgusting mayonnaise habits. For all your preaching about strict regulations, you certainly don’t extend them toward your uniform. I’ve seen you with mayonnaise stains more than once, sometimes on your face.” Tae shook her head with an expression of mock pity. “But I guess it is not so surprising that the famous demon vice-chief has fallen this low, what with the Shinsengumi’s careless use of our tax dollars.”

Hijikata scrambled to his feet, furiously rubbing around his mouth and chin with a reddish tinge on his cheeks and then checking the back of his hand for, presumably, residual mayonnaise. “You say _we’re_ wasting money? My initial point was that you’re wasting our compensation money on unnecessary extravagances instead of fixing your dojo! And leave mayonnaise out of this!”

Tetsunosuke couldn’t help himself. “Vice-Chief, you missed a spot!” He pulled out a handkerchief from his back pocket and trotted over to where Hijikata and Tae were almost standing toe to toe.

“Shut up! I don’t need—”

“Oh, my, who is this observant and polite man?”

Blushing, for he now saw how pretty Tae was from this close up and understood Kondou’s infatuation, Tetsunosuke first offered a bow and then a salute. “Sasaki Tetsunosuke, assistant to Vice-Chief and at your service, ma’am!”

“Why are you _saluting_ her??”

Tae giggled and bowed a greeting in return. “It’s nice to meet you, Sasaki-san. I am Shimura Tae of the Koudoukan Dojo and the Queen of Kabukichou." 

His face was on fire now, he was sure of it. “N-N-Nice to meet you, too, Your Highness!” 

“That has a lovely ring to it. _‘Your Highness.’_ ” She paused with a thoughtful expression. “Yes, I do quite like the sound of that. Perhaps I should tell people address me in that way from now on.” 

Hijikata sneered at her. “Forget that!”

“I completely agree, Your Beautiful Highness!” Kondou burst in, but whimpered when Tae shot him a dark look. 

“Don’t give into her demands, Kondou-san!”

“Shimura-san!” A soldier burst around the corner, running toward them with a convenience store bag in his hand. “I brought your Chocolate Chunk Bargain Dash as you requested!”

Tae took the bag from him with a smile. “Thank you so much.”

“It’s supposed to rain later!” called another soldier, who approached from the opposite end, bearing an umbrella. “Take one of our special Shinsengumi edition umbrellas! It won’t leak under the hardest rain!”

“My, my, how very thoughtful of you.”

“What the hell are you doing??” Hijikata snapped, “Who told you to get her ice cream?”

“S-Sorry, Vice-Chief!” the first soldier answered, “She mentioned she was in the mood for something cool and sweet! And we don’t want her catching a cold from the rain!”

“And Chief told us to treat her respectfully, as if she were our own mother and sister, whenever she comes here!” the second soldier added.

“Respect doesn’t mean groveling to her! All of you, commit seppuku right now for your lack of _self_ -respect!!”

Kondou returned, holding out his uniform jacket. “Otae-san!! You can have my jacket for the walk back home! The wind is starting to pick up!”

“Oh, thank you, Kondou-san,” Tae said, taking the jacket with a smile, “This will make a good fire for the bath tonight.”

“Yeah, hahaha!! Eh? Wait a minute…?”

Before Tetsunosuke could comprehend his actions, he reached inside his pocket and produced the apple he’d been saving for later. “Shimura-san! Please have this apple as a token of my good will!”

Tae’s smiled deepened. “You’re much too kind.”

Hijikata stood there, seething.

“Really, everyone has been so kind, I almost forgot my purpose in being here,” Tae continued, holding her newfound possessions in her arms. She arched a thin eyebrow, glancing at each soldier in turn. “So kind that it almost seems as if it’s an attempt to have me forget…”

“You came to settle the issue of compensation for Chief’s stalking?” Tetsunosuke offered and wilted under Hijikata’s withering glare. 

“Tetsu, you idiot! She was on the verge of leaving!”

“M-M-My apologies, Vice-Chief! I was trying to be helpful!”

“Ah, now I remember what I came here for,” Tae said, turning her gaze to Hijikata instead. “We were discussing compensation, yes? I would prefer it if you wrote me a cheque of 650,000 yen right now, so I can go buy groceries for tonight’s dinner instead of waiting until this afternoon. ”

“You said 450,000 earlier! Why did it go up??” 

“The cost of living went up, but I guess you wouldn’t know since you have a stable income and don’t need to worry about living expenses like the rest of us hardworking civilians.”

“How can the cost of living go up in a minute??” Clearly exasperated, Hijikata took a few deep breaths before continuing, “Look, can we settle this another time? We’re extremely busy today and I have no patience right now to deal with your complaints. I’ll give him another lecture and—”

“When has that ever worked?” she remarked, “And it’s not a simple complaint. I’m asking the police to do something about a stalker. You don’t want the Shinsengumi to become known as the stalker police force, do you? That stalkers can come here and learn the best techniques? Tell me you don’t want that, Hijikata- _han_.” 

Hijikata exhaled and spoke through his teeth, “ _Yes_ , I realize that, and, _no_ , I don’t, but until we find a solution that doesn’t result in the draining of our budget—”

“Not to mention _mine_ ,” Tae cut in, “I do need all the money I can to rebuild my family dojo.”

The two stood there in tense silence for a moment, holding each other’s stubborn gaze. Tae was about a head shorter than Hijikata, but she didn’t appear the least bit intimidated by his height or title or reputation.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Kondou burst out, teary-eyed, scrambling over to bow at her feet. “Otae-san, please forgive me! I just love you so much! I promise to be on my best behaviour from now on! We can continue dating like it never happened!”

Tae looked down at him, blinked twice. “Oh, my, Gori-san! Were you under the impression that we were dating all this time? That all our dates took place in the attic or underneath my bedroom floor?”

Kondou grinned nervously, slowly standing to his feet. “T-Think about them as blind dates! Getting to know each other before we go on real dates!”

“That’s not how blind dates work,” Tae replied, dulcet tones and pleasant smile returning, as she raised a fist. “ _This_ is how they work—” 

Before Kondou could yell and Tetsunosuke could blink, Hijikata intervened, catching her fist with one hand—which soon became two, as he grunted and pushed back against her fist, his heels digging into the ground and eyes wild with disbelief.

Tae relented and dropped her arm, annoyance flickering across her features but still maintaining her smile.

Caught momentarily off balance when the force of her near-punch left him, Hijikata straightened up, a little breathless. “What are you, a gorilla? A bear? Where the hell is your strength coming from??”

Tetsunosuke could see one of Tae’s veins throbbing in her temple despite her attempt to remain calm.

She spoke in a tight voice, “Hijikata-san, I am losing my patience here. If you don’t pay me right now—”

Hijikata jumped in, saying, “If _you_ don’t reschedule our meeting to settle all this for another day, then I’ll tell you what happens to Maeda and Sano at the end of the episode when they confront the murderer!”

Smile vanishing in an instant, Tae narrowed her eyes and the sun passed behind clouds, as though obeying a command and darkening the earth to match her mood.

“You _wouldn’t_.”

Hijikata wore an uncharacteristically smug expression, one of the first Tetsunosuke had ever witnessed. “I _would_ and it would be a shame to have the episode spoiled because it ended with a twist I think not even _you_ would have seen coming. Choose wisely… _Your Highness_.”

“May Toushi’s soul rest in peace,” Kondou murmured, closing his eyes and clenching a fist to his chest, “He was the greatest friend and assistant I ever had. And the _bravest_.”

The other two soldiers, who had lingered in case Tae needed anything else, ran away screaming.

Meanwhile, Tetsunosuke was mulling over the fact that Hijikata had just admitted he watched a drama series on Wednesday mornings instead of working. No wonder Hijikata had given orders that he was not to be interrupted for an hour – and it explained the muffled gunshots and explosions. But that was the least of their concerns now, for even Tetsunosuke couldn’t escape the sense of impending doom crawling up his spine like a spider. 

Hijikata stood his ground, very stiffly, waiting for an answer. Tetsunosuke could see beads of perspiration gathering on the side of his face. So even Hijikata held some measure of fear in the presence of this woman.

Her eyes as shadowed as their surroundings, Tae spoke slowly, “Hijikata-san…”

Tetsunosuke gulped, and he was certain Kondou and Hijikata did, too. 

The clouds unveiled the sun and her smile was equally radiant. “This is too lovely a day to waste on discussion about stalkers and money! Besides that, my Bargain Dash is starting to melt. Perhaps we should schedule our meeting for another time – tonight, perhaps? At Snack Smile? You and Kondou-san can stop by and I’ll order twenty bottles of Dom Perignon in advance for you!”

“So, in other words, you’re still trying to get the money from us one way or another, aren’t you??” Hijikata responded, dumbfounded.

Tae turned her smile to Tetsunosuke. “You are welcome to join us, too, Sasaki-san. I’ll have them prepare extra Dom Perignon for you!”

Tetsunosuke suddenly wished he and his wallet had run away, too. “Uh, well—”

“We’ll be there!” Kondou cut in, throwing both his arms around Hijikata and Tetsunosuke’s shoulders, wearing a happy grin. “I’m so glad you’re giving me another chance, Otae-san! This will be like a group date!”

Hijikata slapped a hand to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut and hissing a curse.

“Before I go, I have to say – I didn’t know you watched _Kendo Cop_ , too, Hijikata-san,” Tae remarked, “Then you must know that they are moving it to a Thursday night slot instead of Wednesday morning next month?” 

Hijikata stared at her, though he seemed calmer than before. “I’m aware, yes.”

“I see. Perhaps we can discuss the plot development sometime? I would also be most interested in what a real police officer thinks of the realism they strive for in the series overall.”

Kondou whispered to Tetsunosuke, “Find out where I can marathon all episodes of _Kendo Cop_ by tonight.”

“Y-Yes, Chief!”

“The crime scenes are fairly well-researched when it comes to the methods of investigation and the process of collecting evidence,” Hijikata replied in a gruff voice, “but the death scenes can use some work. They’re dull and unimaginative.”

“Oh, I agree. I also think there are more effective ways to torture information out of the criminal.”

“As do I.”

Tetsunosuke marveled at how they could go from bickering to discussing television drama serials in over a minute. This woman had a baffling effect on the entire Shinsengumi.

“As expected of the famous demon vice-chief,” Tae said with a chuckle, turning to leave, but she paused to add, “And just so that you’re aware – I never miss an episode unless Shin-chan is bleeding to death or Gori-san is hiding behind the TV.” Her voice dipped low. “Next time you won’t be able to use spoilers against me.” 

Hijikata crossed his arms and jutted his chin out. “ _Humph_. We’ll see about that.”

Tae’s smile remained, but Tetsunosuke could see a twitching vein in her temple. She bid them farewell and left the complex with her new umbrella, ice cream, and apple.

“I’ll be sure to watch _Kendo Cop_ before tonight’s date!” Kondou called out after her, waving.

“It’s _not_ a date and we’re _not_ going,” Hijikata said, frowning at Kondou. “I’ll arrange the meeting some other time – or maybe I won’t have to if you quit stalking her and then she’ll quit beating on you and hounding us for money. If you want to pursue her, then do it normally.”

Kondou clapped his hands together, as if to pray, and bowed his head before them. “Forgive me! I promise I’ll try really hard, Toushi! And you should come along with me tonight! A couple of drinks will help you relax! You even managed to have a civil conversation with her! Granted, an agreement of needing harsher interrogation and torture methods isn’t what I had in mind, but if it helps you two to get along, then I’m okay with it!” Without waiting for answer, Kondou dashed away, talking excitedly to himself about his evening plans and _Kendo Cop_.

Hijikata sighed heavily and turned to scowl at the two soldiers hiding behind a tree. “What the hell are you doing, hiding away like cowards?” He pointed to the hole in the wall. “Commit seppuku and then clean up that mess!!”

“Right away, Vice-Chief!” The two rushed to work along with at least ten more from various hiding places in the vicinity.

Hijikata took out a cigarette and his mayonnaise lighter. “Tetsu, forget the archives for today. Instead I am going to have you retrieve budget reports from Treasury and prepare a summary.”

“Yes, Vice-Chief!”

Not long after, the rain began. The men covered the gap in the wall with canvas and assigned two guards until repairs could continue. Listening to the steady downfall on the roof from inside Hijikata’s quarters, Tetsunosuke counted his blessings – analyzing graphs and numbers was preferable to standing guard in the rain, especially when the two guards happened to be the ones who brought the ice cream and umbrella to Tae.

Again, his mind returned to his encounter with her less than twenty minutes ago. He was in awe of her physical strength and powerful presence, and barely noticed when he asked aloud, “Who _is_ she?”

“Who?”

“Shimura-san.”

 “Didn’t you already _make_ her acquaintance?” Hijikata replied stonily.

“Yes, but I’m wondering just who she is exactly to cause the whole force to mobilize like that…and to buy her things…even though they’re afraid of her.” Even he could not explain to himself why he had wanted to give her his apple only that she should be gifted with it. “Chief really likes her, doesn’t he?”

“Unfortunately.” 

“You don’t approve?”

“Not when she causes him to act irrationally or when she undermines my authority and disrupts the routine around here.” Hijikata rest his cigarette on his knee, exhaling smoke. “She’s violent, vain, can’t cook, and hangs around the Yorozuya. Anyway, why the hell are you asking me this? It has nothing to do with you.”

“Sorry, sir. I just thought there must be something more to her if the Chief likes her so much and the Shinsengumi respect her.”

Hijikata brought his cigarette to his lips and inhaled. Then, with wisps of smoke exiting his mouth, he muttered, “Kondou-san isn’t a fool.”

Tetsunosuke waited for him to elaborate, but Hijikata crumpled his cigarette in the ashtray and resumed his reading, instead muttering under his breath, “She’s even stronger than I thought she was. She could threaten the entire city to do her bidding…damn gorilla woman… At least I finally know a weakness...”

Unsure of whether Hijikata was talking to himself or not, Tetsunosuke ventured a potentially dangerous question: “Vice-Chief, would you like me to purchase for you one of those titillating magazines with warrior women?”

The next thing Tetsunosuke knew, he was on his back in the courtyard, staring at the grey skies with the rain soothing his bleeding and possibly broken nose. Such a powerful punch it was that he saw both stars and sweet smiles from a woman in a pink kimono.

* * *

Day by day, Tetsunosuke grew to know more members of the Shinsengumi and developed friendships. Most of his spare time went to self-improvement, which included learning from his new friends and those of senior ranks with valuable knowledge to impart.

“So what you want to do here is apply a little baking soda – not _too_ much, just dab a bit of the paste – and with a toothbrush or sponge, scrub firmly between the tiles and gradually the mildew will come off.” Kumanaku demonstrated with a toothbrush, using one hand to clean at a mildew-heavy spot with steady strokes. “Notice how the paste eats away at the grime. Get those bristles in deep. It will take some time, perhaps a few hours or days, but when you look upon a sparkling clean wall, you will feel it worthwhile to invest as much effort and sweat in tile-cleaning as you do in sword-training.”

Tetsunosuke scribbled it all down in his notepad. “Thank you, senpai! I will do this the next time I’m on washroom duty!”

Kumanaku gave a curt nod and stood up. “I am most delighted to pass down my knowledge to a willing ear. Most of the men here don’t have the same passion for cleanliness as I do.”

“Are you two done in there? Come on, I gotta take a piss!” Goda wailed from outside the washrooms. “You don’t have to close off the entire bathroom just for a cleaning lesson!”

“Pay him no mind,” Kumanaku said, taking a small bowl of baking soda paste and remixing it with a spoon, beating it around like an egg. “People like him have no appreciation for the art of sanitation. I suspect he’s one of those miscreants who don’t aim properly, thus creating an additional mess to clean up.”

“I do _so_ aim properly! It’s Eguchi who doesn’t! Don’t lump me in with a guy who can’t aim unless there’s a target in the urinal!! Taking a piss isn’t like playing video games!”

“Speaking of targets…” Kumanaku went over to the next urinal where there was a taped photo of Hijikata obviously not aware of being photographed, a spoonful of mayonnaise-topped curry poised to enter his mouth. “I see Captain Okita has been here recently. That’s the fourth photo I’ve found this month.” He slapped on a rubber glove and proceeded to scratch at the edges, tearing it off. “Be sure to protect your hands from germs when you remove them.”

There was a sudden flush in the farthest stall, causing both men to glance at each other in surprise. The door opened and Kondou walked out and they immediately stood at attention. “Chief!”

“Carry on with your lesson, men, no need to stop on my account,” Kondou said cheerfully, walking over to the bathroom sink with a slight limp.

“I had no idea you were here, Chief,” Kumanaku said, still saluting.

“Oh, I’ve been here for about half an hour,” Kondou answered, scrubbing his hands with soap. “Constipation will do that to you. But I was also fascinated by your lecture on cleanliness that I stayed in there longer just to hear. I think I thoroughly cleaned out my system as a result!”

Outside, Goda’s footsteps trailing away could be heard along with a muffled remark, “Never mind, I can hold it." 

Kondou switched off the water and held up a finger. “ _That_ , I do not recommend.”

* * *

Besides learning about useful cleaning tips, Tetsunosuke soaked up every little piece of information on Hijikata that he could get.

“ _This_ will move your soul in ways you never thought it could be moved,” Harada said one evening, voice thick with conviction. Harada was a frequent patrol and smoking partner of Hijikata’s and one of the oldest members in age and membership. Tonight he had invited Tetsunosuke to the common room for the weekly Shinsengumi movie night that Hijikata did nothing about because Kondou allowed it. 

“What movie is it?” 

“ _Alien vs Yakuza_. It’s a classic.” 

From the title alone, it didn’t sound like the kind of movie a group of law-adhering samurai would indulge in. “Oh, I haven’t seen that…” 

“I’m telling you, Vice-Chief cried his eyes out over this…”

Tetsunosuke could hardly believe that the Shinsengumi’s second-in-command had once shed tears over a yakuza movie when yakuza were often arrested every month or so. But then, nearly everything Tetsunosuke had ever learned or heard of about Hijikata prior to joining the Shinsengumi was that the man simultaneously lived up to and defied his terrifying reputation.

“…so you _know_ you’ll be crying by the end of it, too.”

“Really? Then I’m looking forward to it!”

“Great. Oh—” Harada paused before the door of the common room. “Just one thing – if you see Vice-Chief crying, don’t say anything unless you want your ass kicked. It’s best if you pretend you didn’t notice.”

“O-Okay!”

Sure enough, halfway through the film, Tetsunosuke could feel the beginnings of a lump in his throat over the bonds of unbreakable loyalty between the main character and his subordinate, prepared to fight and die together before a hideous alien foe. No wonder Hijikata had taken to this movie.

The entire common room was packed full of off-duty officers, all quiet save for the occasional sniffle, one of which was close at hand along with a familiar cigarette scent. Remembering Harada’s advice, Tetsunosuke forced himself to watch the movie and not think about how Hijikata had apparently joined them with masterful stealth and was already weeping over the film.

Don’t look, don’t comment, don’t invoke wrath. Three simple rules, like avoiding a vengeful ghost.

“Jou-san!” Hijikata suddenly called out in the middle of a death scene, voice sounding as devastated as the characters on-screen looked.

No one said a word, but some sobbed harder.

Tetsunosuke took out his handkerchief and wiped away a few tears of his own.

* * *

With the Sixth and Seventh Units out patrolling, the Fourth and Ninth Units carrying out their own assigned duties, and the Second Unit training new recruits, the rest of the Shinsengumi were free to spend their Friday evening spare time however they wanted to, so long as no one broke the law or caused any deaths. Or rather, that’s how many of them interpreted Kondou’s command to “take it easy” after a long hard week in dealing with recent Joui faction uprisings. Quite a number of men had gathered in the common room for a night of social drinking and conversation.

“So I say to him – ‘Hey, where do you get off trying to tell me _SD Gundam_ isn’t a serious _Gundam_ show?’” Nakashima shook his head, gesturing animatedly with his hands as he relayed an experience to a couple of other soldiers. “That’s like saying Kira is a better pilot than Amuro. Nobody in their right mind would say that.”

One of the soldiers whose name Tetsunosuke struggled to recall frowned. “But have you seen Kira in action? He’s damn good, I wouldn’t sell him short.”

“Kira is just an overpowered copy of Amuro! The whole series is a watered down copy of the original!”

“Are you saying you weren’t moved by Lacus’ songs? What kind of heartless robot are you?? No wonder you can’t get a date!”

“What did you say?” Nakashima rose unsteadily to his feet, buzzed by a few drinks. “I have a better chance of getting a date in the real world than somebody who can’t look past his two-dimensional idols!!”

“Shut up, you single gundam otaku loser who actually owns a Char mask!! That’s a real date charmer, isn’t it??”

Nakashima lunged for him, sending both crashing down on the floor. 

“Settle down, settle down!” said the third solider, as the other two began to brawl. “Chief and Vice-Chief might come back early and then you’ll really get it!”

Tetsunosuke stared worriedly at the flurry of fists in the corner of the common room. “Should we stop them?” 

Harada clapped a hand against his back, chuckling. “They get into the same argument every week. Let them duke it out and they’ll be buddies again in an hour.”

Surrounded by a myriad of conversations and drunken scuffles and jovial laughter, Tetsunosuke reveled in the camaraderie of a common room full of comrades he now called friends. Tonight, jokes were freely passed around with the alcohol, and Tetsunosuke was privileged to be pouring a drink for two captains, Harada and Todo. Tetsunosuke had been hoping to do the same for their esteemed leaders, but Kondou had gone to Snack Smile and Hijikata had accompanied him to ensure he didn’t get into big trouble before tomorrow’s meeting with politicians.

 _Another time_ , Tetsunosuke thought, as he smiled at two men singing an off-key duet from a borrowed karaoke machine.

“Oi, Tetsu-kun!” called Eguchi from across the room, “Remember when you passed out from eating Vice-Chief’s mayonnaise curry rice special for the first time?” 

Tetsunosuke recalled the incident with some faint nausea and nodded, grinning sheepishly. “Yes, I do!”

“Takes real guts to do that!” 

“Or a death wish!” another chimed in, inspiring more laughter.

“I don’t think he turned down any mayonnaise Vice-Chief gave him, either!”

That was partly true. During a training excursion, Tetsunosuke had completed an obstacle course and Hijikata had handed him a bottle of mayonnaise for “sustenance.” Not wanting to offend his most revered teacher, Tetsunosuke had accepted it. But Hijikata had stayed there, waiting, and so Tetsunosuke had no choice but to take the cap off and pour some in his mouth. It wasn’t the most appetizing, but he would endure it for Hijikata’s sake.

Yamazaki, who was not drinking as much, stood to his feet and wrung his hands nervously. “Everyone, it’s getting late…Chief and Vice-Chief will be back soon. Maybe we should call it a night?” 

“The night’s still young!” Todo called out, lifting his cup and grinning with a lopsided bandana that covered one of his eyes, “Have another drink, Zaki!”

“Or maybe he’d rather go to that bar with the robot woman,” Harada added, smirking.

Yamazaki flushed red with embarrassment. “How does everyone know about that?”

“Oh, sorry, I thought it was an open secret,” said a different voice with a familiar drawl to it. 

Tetsunosuke was sure everyone’s heart had leaped into their throats at about the same time as his did when Okita Sougo spoke. He stood in the doorway, dressed in casual wear like the rest. He also held a bazooka.

“Captain Okita! You mean you told everybody about my—wait, there’s nothing to tell!”

“Okay, I won’t tell anyone about how I saw you reading a cyborg romance manga in the bookstore yesterday,” Okita replied, as he stepped into the common room.

“You just did!!”

“Oh. My bad.” Okita hefted the bazooka onto his right shoulder, took aim, and fired into the corner where Nakashima and the other soldier were still brawling.

Everyone yelled and scrambled for cover, as debris rained down on them. Tetsunosuke jumped to his feet and stood at attention, not wanting to appear idle. 

“Since Kondou-san and Hijikata-san aren’t here right now, it’s up to me to lay down the law as Captain of the First Unit,” Okita said before the dust cleared, “Infighting is against regulation. Besides, _Tetsujin 28-go_ tramples on both.” 

“Captain!” Kamiyama burst out, running over to Okita’s side, “I thought you were watching rakugo in your room! Or at least you were when I peeked in on you for five minutes!”

Okita looked at him with mild annoyance, dropping the bazooka to the floor. “I was, but I finished that early, so I decided to pour superglue in Hijikata’s boots and I finished that quickly, too. I followed the noise to here and now I’m faced with the decision of how to inflict maximum pain on you with minimal effort for invading my privacy.”

Instead of cowering in fear, Kamiyama adjusted his glasses and cried, “I’m ready for anything! I’m a glutton for punishment, Captain Okita!!”

Ignoring his subordinate, Okita yawned and walked to the center of the room, surveying broken cups and flasks and shards of the walls and floors littering the area. “Good grief, what a mess you guys made.”

“Uh, _you’re_ the one who made an even bigger mess!” the men yelled together.

“This will take hours to clean and by the time you finish, it’ll probably be after midnight and then you’ll be tired in the morning for your official duties and then Hijikata will blame me letting the situation get out of hand. He’s always blaming me for things that aren’t my fault.”

“No matter how you look at it, this really is all _your_ fault!”

“Trying to make me look bad in front of Kondou-san, no doubt.” Okita crossed his arms and stayed quiet for several seconds before sighing. “Well, I have no choice, then. I’ll do a nostalgic throwback scene and offer you a piece of advice altered enough to avoid copyright infringement. When facing an overwhelming mess, breathe as one. Link your breathing with your body and heart.”

Tetsunosuke synchronized his breathing with everyone else, eyes watering over the stench of alcohol. 

“And at the precise moment, approach the mess and clean it up as one before I blow this entire place to pieces. You have five minutes—ah, sorry, that’s four minutes and fifty-seven seconds now.”

Tetsunosuke’s heart raced, as everyone immediately – and drunkenly – grabbed all the alcohol and whipped out hammers and brooms out of nowhere to begin repairs on the common room. Meanwhile Okita plopped down in front of the television and switched the channel from Terakado Tsuu’s concert to a comedy talk show.

In spite of his trepidation toward being in Okita’s presence and the threat hanging over them if they didn’t finish cleaning up in time, Tetsunosuke had to admit that there was no one better suited to leading the Shinsengumi in Kondou and Hijikata’s stead than Okita. Hijikata had always warned not to trust Okita, but in critical situations, Tetsunosuke thought they could do worse than Okita, who was actually showing a rare act of charity in allowing them time to clean up before Hijikata returned. Not nearly enough time with a mess made bigger by Okita, admittedly, but the captain’s small acts of charity and subtle kindnesses were valued treasures all the same.

* * *

One of Tetsunosuke’s favourite times of the day and the week was morning patrol. He rose before dawn, careful not to wake the rest of the men in the barracks, especially those who had returned from the graveyard shift. He took up preparing breakfast in the mess hall for those beginning their day early, and took pride in serving Hijikata, who was typically the first person there, choosing to dine with the members on days where he led the morning patrol.

The best part was getting to go with Hijikata on these morning patrols. Usually Tetsunosuke spent most of his time working at headquarters, holding the fort down with administrative work and keeping up to date on current events while Hijikata conducted fieldwork in addition to his many other responsibilities. These times when Tetsunosuke was tasked with field duties filled him with honour and excitement. It was a time for growth and new experiences. It was a time to display the strengths of his body and mind. It was a time to learn firsthand from Hijikata on what it meant to be a samurai in this day and age.

“What do you mean there’s no _Magazine_ today?”

“My apologies, sir. There’s a late shipment and—”

“There was a late shipment last week, too. Is this going to be regular occurrence? Should I take my business elsewhere?”

The small corner convenience store employee – a meek young man with fidgeting hands and eyes flitting from Hijikata’s face to the sword at his waist – answered in a croaking voice, “Please don’t do that, sir! I’ll give you your regular brand of cigarettes at half off today to make up for it!”

Hijikata narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t give me half off last week. It should be _double_ half off now.”

“But that would mean giving them away for free!”

“That’s the way equivalent exchange works.”

“Equivalent exchange?? What exactly are we exchanging in order to make this fair for both of us? And isn’t that a _Jump_ story?”

“Are you arguing with a police officer? I can arrest you for that.”

“No, no, no! By all means, take them!” The employee thrust two packs into Hijikata’s waiting hand. “Take two! They’re on the house! Just don’t arrest me!”

Ignoring the fact that Hijikata had obtained cigarettes for cheap through means of what could be considered a type of extortion, Tetsunosuke still looked forward to upholding justice with the demon vice-chief of the Shinsengumi.

Today they were on foot, starting from their area of residence and leading into the neighbouring districts. They cut through an alleyway and entered a business street where shops were opening up, vendors setting up their wares and stands, and people shopping and eating and enjoying the start of a fresh new day.

Hijikata led the way, lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth, hands in his pockets. Even though he appeared relatively relaxed, he was always on his guard, his gaze cutting into the people like steel, searching for any sign of trouble or law-breaking.

Tetsunosuke followed close behind, partially to observe Hijikata and also because he didn’t feel like he deserved to stand side by side with such a renowned man. That was a dream yet to be realized. Hijikata would call it a ridiculous notion, but Tetsunosuke wanted to earn his place at Hijikata’s side instead of simply claiming it as one assigned to assist him.

Hijikata stopped in the middle of the street.

“What is it, Vice-Chief—” Tetsunosuke froze, unable to finish.

Strolling toward them was Isaburou, in casual wear, closing the distance by the second.

There was no place to duck into without being noticed. That was what Tetsunosuke wanted to do, but such a cowardly act would irritate Hijikata and fuel Isaburou’s contempt. There was no choice but to face his brother. Sooner or later, they would have met again.

Besides, Isaburou had noticed them long before he reached them, and he stopped five feet short of Hijikata, hands clasped behind his back. “Well, what an unexpected coincidence – to meet the Shinsengumi here on my first day off in Edo. It has been a long time since we last spoke.” The sun glinted off his monocle, and even though the white Mimawarigumi uniform was absent, Isaburou was as intimidating as only he could be. He reached into his kimono and pulled out his cell phone, flipping the top open. “You must let me add you back into my contacts now that the Mimawarigumi will be in Edo for a time.”

Hijikata puffed on his cigarette. “Oi, didn’t anyone tell you not to e-mail and walk? Somebody could get _hurt_.”

“Indeed, but I am sure the Vice-Chief of the Shinsengumi will be able to act in time to prevent any accidents or unnecessary injuries.” His eyes passed over Tetsunosuke briefly, showing disinterest. “I see you still do not heed my advice about preventing decay from settling into your ranks.” 

Tetsunosuke swallowed hard and stared at Isaburou’s sandaled feet.

“The only decay here that ranks is standing in front of me.”

“Now, now, Hijikata-san, there is no need to be rude. Everyone knows that if you do not brush your teeth daily, your teeth will rot and fall out or perhaps spread incurable disease. I would hate to see the illustrious Shinsengumi succumb to their own bad habits.”

“None of your damn business whether we brush our teeth or not.”

Isaburou gave a short sigh. “This is precisely what I warned Matsudaira-dono about. If you do not consider your long-term health, you will eventually suffer the consequences of poor hygiene. But, then again, he is a man of rather deplorable habits himself, indulging too recklessly in alcohol at decadent establishments.”

The thickening tension between the two men unnerved Tetsunosuke, who didn’t want a battle to break out in the middle of throngs of market-goers, many of who filed around them, likely wary of interfering with the trio, even by accident.

Hijikata narrowed his eyes. “Whatever problem you’ve got with the old man doesn’t compare to the problem I have with your stinking tongue. Maybe see the dentist about that before you look at other people’s hygiene.”

Unfazed, Isaburou nodded. “Indeed. But before I do that, perhaps I should seek counsel from Kondou-san first. He is a more sensible man than yourself and Matsudaira-dono, and I can count on his wise opinions about the nature of a samurai. Ah, but then, I find myself in error again, because I believe Kondou-san is known for the scandalous behaviour of stalking a lady. News of samurai acting inappropriately does reach the ears of those far and wide.”

Hijikata’s hand settled on the hilt of his sword.

“It is quite shameful to see Edo’s famed police force fall to such depths—”

Before Tetsunosuke’s mind realized it, his mouth spoke without regard for fear of Isaburou’s right-hand Imai Nobume materializing out of nowhere to point her sword at his neck. “Isaburou!” 

In a split second, his brother’s eyes leveled on him, brow crinkling ever so slightly.

Taking a few deep breaths to quell his anxieties over interrupting Isaburou for the first time in his life, Tetsunosuke squared his shoulders and set his jaw in defiance. “Pardon my intrusion, but I couldn’t let your insulting my leaders pass without comment! The Shinsengumi may not be as perfect and elite as the Mimawarigumi, but under Kondou-san and Hijikata-san’s leadership, we are strong and committed to protecting the people of Edo and the Shogun!”

Isaburou wasted no time with his monotone response, “‘We?’ So you now think of yourself as a legitimate member of the Shinsengumi? They are _your_ leaders now? Not long ago, you were fraternizing with Joui patriots and now you are arresting them while escaping the consequences of your foolish decisions. How easily you switch sides when it is convenient for you.”

“Switch sides? No! I—”

“In a way, it is no different from how you continue to use the name ‘Sasaki’ for your own benefit when you have long tried to distance yourself from the family despite our repeated attempts to reform you. Ingratitude is ill-fitting of a samurai – if you are calling yourself that, as well.”

Tetsunosuke tried to stop memories of the past from weakening his resolve, tried not to remember the way their father looked at him for the first time since his mother died: aversion to claiming a half-blood child in order to squash gossip and save the Sasaki family from disgrace. It was the same look Isaburou had always carried in his eyes. “No, I… I…”

Relentless in his condemnation, Isaburou continued, “Kondou-san agreed to take you in because refusing a direct order from his superiors was not an option for the Shinsengumi already teetering on the edge of a sword for their unruly ways. Hijikata-san accepted you as his assistant, because, as I understand it, he never refuses an order from Kondou-san. I am very sorry to say, Tetsunosuke-kun, that you are simply an obligation and nothing more.”

Tetsunosuke lowered his head, heart pounding in his ears. Just when he thought he had overcome some of his biggest obstacles yet, Isaburou reduced him to a humiliated state in a matter of seconds. Maybe Isaburou was right, maybe—

“Ten minutes.”

Isaburou looked at Hijikata. “I beg your pardon?”

“In ten minutes my patrol will officially end and I will be off-duty,” Hijikata answered coldly, “When that happens, I may feel _obligated_ to run you through with my sword like I did back in the abandoned lot.” 

“You would strike a civilian in broad daylight and further sully the Shinsengumi’s reputation?”

“If our reputation is already rotten trash as you say, then it won’t make much of a difference if I add another rotting piece. I already know our image is going down the drain, but right now, I don’t care because I’m not going to stand by and let you further insult my assistant, my men, and my general.” The sound of steel sliding from his scabbard further emphasized his threat, pulling the sword out at a thumb’s length. “Besides, I wouldn’t call an instigator carrying a sword in broad daylight your ordinary civilian when I know he’s well-versed in the law that bans swords.”

Isaburou stared at him blankly. “In other words, your personal pride is more important than your group’s stature.”

Hijikata smirked. “Unfortunately for you, I don’t have any personal pride left.”

Tetsunosuke had to agree. Nobody in the Shinsengumi did. Not Kondou who walked around naked once in a while or Hijikata who consumed mayonnaise directly from the bottle in public; not Yamazaki who ate himself into an anpan coma or Saitou who fell asleep in the middle of a convenience store queue and disrupted business. Certainly not Okita, who daily committed some kind of atrocity that sent Kondou and Hijikata scrambling to save face before the higher-ups’ inquiries over the competence of the Shinsengumi.

Yet, Tokugawa Shige Shige placed absolute faith in them for his protection, and the people of Edo followed suit, trusting that the Shinsengumi, despite their roughest edges, would defend the Shogun and the city to their deaths.

“The only pride I have is in being a good-for-nothing samurai like the rest,” Hijikata continued, taking out his cigarette and heaving a sigh. “If the Mimawarigumi want to play the part of the heroes, so be it. We’re not interested in grandstanding. All we’re going to do is follow the orders of our general.” 

Isaburou stood in silence for some moments, scrutinizing Hijikata carefully. Finally, he said, “It appears that we are at an impasse here. Even though we are supposed to be colleagues who assist one another in protecting the Shogun, it seems that the Shinsengumi refuse to see their own folly and are truly beyond my aid.” Isaburou typed into his phone, right thumb moving at a rapid pace. “I will have Nobume-san cancel the pen pal e-mail exchange program I was planning to introduce in order to better the relations between our forces. I see now that it is no longer needed.”

“That’s too bad because I was planning to write a lengthy letter of recommendation to the Mimawarigumi Chief regarding the proficiency of my assistant here,” Hijikata remarked, gesturing to a shocked Tetsunosuke with a nod. “He’s turning out to be of finer quality than the rest of us and I thought you should know. But it might be too late for him – he may have lost his pride, too.”

“Yes, I don’t have any pride at all!" 

“Oi, that only sounds okay when _I_ say it.”

“I’m a good-for-nothing, too!”

“Seriously, don’t say it like that.” 

“It’s true, sir! I would never want to leave the Shinsengumi!” Tetsunosuke insisted and then faced Isaburou again. “Isaburou…I know what you think of me, but I don’t care anymore. I’m different than I used to be and it’s all because of Hijikata-san and the Shinsengumi.” He paused, holding Isaburou’s gaze and trying not to collapse under it. “Someday, when you have the time and you’re willing, I would like to talk with you and show you just how strong I’ve become. Maybe then, you will see the worth of adding me to your contacts.”

The hum and murmur of the streets sounded far off and distant in the wake of his bold statement. As usual, Isaburou’s eyes betrayed nothing, but Tetsunosuke took the lack of an instant snide reply as a good sign.

“Well, then, I believe I have tarried here long enough. Far be it from me to stand in the way of the Shinsengumi’s patrol.” Isaburou adjusted his monocle and then passed between them, adding, “Do give my regards to Kondou-san. One of these days, the two of us will have to have a heart-to-heart discussion about keeping our subordinates in line.”

Hijikata glared at him. “Kondou-san has no time for pretentious bastards.”

“Oh?” Isaburou stopped and turned slightly toward them, peering over the top of his monocle. “But I am certain that he will soon be able to find plenty of room in his schedule for a fan. Good day, Hijikata-san.”

“Good riddance.”                         

As though a spell had been broken, the life of the street filled Tetsunosuke’s ears once more, as he watched Isaburou fade into the crowds.

Knees quivering, Tetsunosuke fought to keep his balance, the weight of the experience crushing down on him. He took slow, deep breaths.

Hijikata noticed and frowned. “Pull yourself together. When you face your opponents, be fearless and dignified.”

“Yes, Vice-Chief!” 

“Let’s go.”

Tetsunosuke straightened up, exhaled sharply, and hurried to keep in step with Hijikata down the street, eager to end morning patrol on a positive note with the man who acted more like a brother than his blood one. 

* * *

“So, Tetsu, how are you these days? Fitting in well?” 

Sitting next to the Chief of the Shinsengumi, alone and in public at a ramen stand for dinner instead of at the mess hall, was the last thing Tetsunosuke expected. Kondou usually shared in the meals and practices and celebrations with the Shinsengumi, but to seek out time with a mere attendant and someone ranked the lowest in skill was a concept unfamiliar to Tetsunosuke. Isaburou certainly wouldn’t have indulged in somebody beneath his ranks like this, let alone the entire Mimawarigumi or even the Sasaki family. But Kondou did and had invited Tetsunosuke to dine out with him.

“I’m doing well, sir, thank you kindly for asking!”

Steaming bowls of ramen were placed in front of them, and the smell alone was mouth-watering. They spent a few moments in silence, enjoying their meal and the company. 

“Absolutely delicious, as always!” Kondou called to the owner, who nodded in acknowledgment. Turning to Tetsunosuke, Kondou added, “I always make sure to come here a few times a week. The food at the cafeteria can be a little, eh… _unappetizing_ , let’s just say. But don’t tell the cooks I said that! They’re doing their best!”

“I won’t tell a soul, sir!”

Kondou laughed. “Thank you!” He took another bite and asked, “Is Toushi still giving you a rough time?”

Tetsunosuke hesitated, unwilling to provide a thoughtless answer that might give a bad impression of his superior. Hijikata didn’t torture him into doing his duties, and while deep conversations between them were few and far between, it didn’t mean Tetsunosuke was unhappy. He knew not to expect sunshine and roses working under a man like that. “He’s not giving me a rough time, no.”

“You can be honest with me, Tetsu. I know how he is.” Kondou grinned. “Sometimes he’s a little tough with me when needed, but he means well! Usually, anyway…he can be scary, too, haha!”

Scary was an understatement. More like downright terrifying with all hellish fury imaginable. “Yes, he’s – he’s a little intimidating! I’m afraid to make any sort of mistake, so I do my best to do everything right the first time.”

Kondou slurped on his noodles and spoke between mouthfuls. “I wouldn’t worry about it. I know Toushi values your hard work and he knows you try hard. Underneath that gruff exterior is a man with a heart bigger than he would admit.”

Kondou would know Hijikata better than anyone else, had probably seen sides of the man no one else had ever seen, and was likely the only person Hijikata could let his guard down with. 

Tetsunosuke was envious of their bond. “I believe that, sir! I just wish I knew what he’s thinking sometimes. I want to get to know him better…but we don’t talk much outside of work.” 

“He’s like that with most people. Toushi’s not much of a conversationalist,” Kondou said, chewing with bits of food spraying out. “The key to knowing him is in understanding what he doesn’t say.”

“What do you mean, sir?”

“Enough with the ‘sir’ – we’re off-duty and sharing a meal!” Kondou grinned at him. “Just Kondou will do right now.”

A bit awestruck over bypassing a barrier of seniority, Tetsunosuke nodded. “Alright, Kondou-san, what do you mean?

“Toushi is never short on words when it comes to leading and disciplining the troops, as we both know! I mean more like when he chooses to or not to have heart-to-heart talks, much like we’re doing now. He’s careful about what he shares. He also doesn’t praise or flatter people unnecessarily. You must’ve noticed that.”

Tetsunosuke had. There was one case where he had painstakingly assembled a lengthy quarterly budget report that he had spent days working on and extra hours revising and ensuring no errors were present. Hijikata had taken it with little acknowledgment, mostly nodding and thanking him once for getting it done. Whether he had noticed anything else about it or how neatly the breakdown was arranged, he didn’t say. Tetsunosuke didn’t take it to mean that Hijikata was ungrateful, but he had hoped Hijikata might commend him for his work ethic and initiative.

Or maybe that was just the part of him that had wanted every kind of acknowledgment he could get from Isaburou and their father and all prominent family members and allies. Having to endure their criticism or silence had led Tetsunosuke to desire recognition each and every time he accomplished something.

But he also knew that such an attitude could be an obstacle under Shinsengumi jurisdiction. Individual accomplishments and goals did not take priority over group achievements. They worked not for themselves but for the people, and were expected to obey Kondou and Hijikata’s orders regardless of personal feelings. Operating as a single-minded force was the best way for the Shinsengumi to discourage internal division and protect Edo. Despite the variety of personalities, they all knew when to be serious and work together, setting aside personal disputes.

Tetsunosuke knew it was petty to expect something like a pat on the head from Hijikata for every task accomplished, like an owner praising a good dog. But some encouragement wasn’t bad, either. Not saying a word caused Tetsunosuke to wonder if he was still worth speaking to, especially with their lack of in-depth conversations. Did Hijikata want a robot for an assistant?

“Yet, when you least expect it, he’ll also say exactly what you need to hear, whether you like it or not. He’s good at reading people,” Kondou continued, “Yeah, the thing about working with Toushi is that you eventually figure out what he expects and what he thinks without him saying anything. It’s about knowing Toushi on a different level.”

It was easy for Kondou to say that, because he already knew Hijikata on a different level. They were lifelong friends. Even Okita knew Hijikata better than most. But with Tetsunosuke, it was more of a master and retainer relationship. Was there a chance that someday Hijikata might see him as not just an assistant but also a friend, too? 

“If you’re not at that level, I wouldn’t worry about it. He’s a hard man to befriend. But, if you work hard and do a good job, Toushi won’t forget it. Expecting him to praise you for every right thing you do…well, he’s just not that kind of guy.” 

Tetsunosuke tried to cover up his burning face by lifting a hefty amount of simmering noodles. It was as if Kondou had read his mind, but it wasn’t too surprising. Kondou knew more about his men and people in general than he let on, and Tetsunosuke was never more convinced of that then now.

“If he has to holler at you a lot, then you’re probably not doing a good job – _or_ you’re doing something crazy. But if he doesn’t, then it usually means he’s satisfied with your performance. And I’d say by now you’ve earned his trust. That’s a hard thing to earn, believe me!" 

“You really think so?”

“Of course!” Soup finished, Kondou set down his chopsticks and leaned on the counter, folding his arms. “You may not realize it, but he trusts you a great deal. I’ve noticed he’s let you sit in more on leadership meetings, even if you’re only recording the minutes. And he’s a little more relaxed now that he’s not behind on his reports and filing because _you’re_ there to take care of the minor details. You two are turning out to be a great team. Actually it makes me a little jealous, ha, ha!” 

“Jealous??” Tetsunosuke blinked in shock, trying to process Kondou’s statement. Kondou and Hijikata were the ideal team and invincible when Okita was added to the mix. Everyone admired their synergy. How could Kondou be jealous of _him?_

“You’ve come a long way since you first joined us. Do you remember what you were like?” Kondou laughed again. “I think it’s safe to say that Toushi wanted to kill you with your lack of manners and respect!”

Tetsunosuke forced a cheerless laugh, knowing full well it was true. “Yes, I am very ashamed of my behaviour back then and I’ve done my best to atone for it.”

“And you have. I’ve been observing you for a long time, Tetsu, and you’ve grown a lot. Take pride in that.”

Overwhelmed by Kondou’s words, Tetsunosuke smiled, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes. “Thank you very much, Chief!”

“Oi, what did I say about titles tonight?”

“My apologies, Kondou-san!”

Kondou grinned.

Swallowing a mouthful of food, Tetsunosuke added, “I’m thankful I can assist to Vice-Chief. Whatever it takes to make his life easier, I’ll do it, because I owe him my life.” Every so often, he would remember Hijikata, battered and bleeding, standing between the Mimawarigumi and Tetsunosuke’s former gang, determined to rescue him. 

“Whoa now, don’t get so heavy! But the sentiment is appreciated, Tetsu. Toushi can be under quite a bit of pressure, although he does his best not to let anyone see that,” Kondou said, voice sobering up. “I can’t help but feel it’s partly my fault. I depend on him a great deal and I know he wants to do his best for me. Too often he has his hands full just trying to keep the Shinsengumi in order outside of the battlefield. I know _I_ stress him out sometimes with things that I do, like the way I express my love for Otae-san and the trouble it gets me into. 

“But, no matter what, Toushi is always there to bail me out. _Always_ , and to the point where I worry for him and what would happen if…” Kondou paused, staring down at his meal for a few long moments, pondering an unspoken thought. Then, he sighed and smiled – a bit tiredly – at Tetsunosuke. “Ah, it’s nothing. Who am I to bring down the mood?”

Uneasiness stirred in the pit of his stomach, but Tetsunosuke thanked Kondou for the hundredth time that evening.

“It’s no problem! You can come ask me for advice anytime! That’s why I invited you out tonight. I make a point of getting to know each new member, so that I can understand their strengths and weaknesses. If anyone is troubled, they should come and talk to me. I’ll always do my best to help them! A general can’t lead his troops if they’re wallowing in doubt. General Revil would never do that!”

Tetsunosuke was overwhelmed by Kondou’s generosity despite not knowing who General Revil was. There was no better leader in the entire country than Kondou Isao, who had dangerous swordsmen as his most loyal friends and ate casual meals with low-ranking members because Kondou saw no barriers when it came to his men. He was the brightest lantern in the darkness, and Tetsunosuke vowed to follow that light with the same staunch faith that Hijikata had in Kondou. 

“Thank you, Chief! I realize that Hijikata has very high standards for all those who serve under him.” Tetsunosuke clenched a fist. “But it only inspires me to work harder! I’ll do my best to live up to Hijikata-san’s expectations and exceed them!”

Kondou clasped his shoulder and gave him a hearty grin. “That’s the spirit! Never give up, Tetsu. This world is unforgiving at times, there’s no denying it. But when darkness closes in and things seem hopeless, you fight with all you have for even the smallest flicker of light. If you don’t, then that’s when you’ll know that you’ve truly lost your way.”

* * *

Days later, the unforgiving world snuffed out the light that was Kondou Isao and cast a once clear path into utter darkness.

Beneath an overcast sky heavy with the threat of rain, Tetsunosuke stood behind Hijikata, waiting for him to call for an end to the surrounding chaotic brawl between Shinsengumi and Mimawarigumi officers over the arrest of Kondou Isao, scheduled for execution in a few days. The shock of this news was equal to that of Tokugawa Shige Shige’s death in spite of an elaborate ruse orchestrated by shinobi and samurai in order to protect him. Political factions moved as if on cue and Hitotsubashi Nobu Nobu was swiftly placed into power. News outlets spread the word and the people mourned.

The nationwide funeral had ended an hour ago. 

Kondou had been arrested forty-five minutes ago.

The Shinsengumi had returned to an empty complex twenty minutes ago.

The Mimawarigumi had arrived eleven minutes ago. 

The fight had begun three minutes ago.

Tetsunosuke counted the minutes, because he needed something to do and it was a task an assistant had to undertake, to keep track of current events. He wasn’t going to join the scuffle, much as he wouldn’t mind punching a few _elite_ Mimawarigumi and destroying the smug glint in their eyes.

But he couldn’t— _wouldn’t_ , because the Shinsengumi didn’t involve themselves in personal quarrels and conducted themselves with discipline and dignity. With all their quirks and flaws, they still maintained the regulations as best as they could under Kondou and Hijikata’s leadership. And as the assistant of Hijikata himself, Tetsunosuke endeavoured to exemplify the kind of behaviour Hijikata expected from him, expected as a samurai. 

So, he counted and waited and watched.

Order was disordered. The men carried on, trading blow for blow, the black uniforms crying injustice and the white uniforms proclaiming justice. Someone had to pay for the sin of letting the Shogun die, after all. 

But Hijikata said nothing, did nothing. Threats of seppuku never came and he seemed to observe the brawl with a detached air about him, as though letting them battle it out might somehow overturn the last hour’s events and bring Kondou back to them.

Okita didn’t do anything, either. He stood there in silence with an unreadable expression.

Saitou was nearby, standing farther behind, and when Tetsunosuke looked back at him, a plea in his eyes, Saitou simply closed his own. 

Just when Tetsunosuke turned back and opened his mouth to protest, the words died on his tongue, as Sakata Gintoki hobbled down the pathway on a crutch, effectively halting the fight, passing through them like a bitterly cold wind chilling their bones. Frozen in mid-punch with wide eyes, no one moved a muscle, as Gintoki made his way to Hijikata and Okita, similarly dumbfounded. 

Beaten and bandaged up with a hollow gaze, Gintoki offered an apology.

In seconds, reality set in and the Shinsengumi was disbanded on the same day they laid Tokugawa Shige Shige to rest.

The minutes ticked by faster than Tetsunosuke could keep up. 


	3. Rekindle or Burn Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, if you're still here.
> 
> Part Three Theme Song: "Wildfires" by Anathema (especially the explosive ending)

“You’re dismissed.”

The words, spoken with about as much feeling as a stone wall, fell on Tetsunosuke’s incredulous ears. “S-Sir…?”

“You heard me.” Hijikata was seated on the floor of his quarters, sifting through paperwork. Off to the side was a half-filled bag of belongings and spare mayonnaise bottles. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, jacket discarded on the floor instead of neatly hung up. “Take your things and _go_.”

Tetsunosuke’s fingers itched to snatch that jacket up, dust it off, iron it, and hang it up on the wall, ready for another day’s work, like nothing had changed at all.

After the Mimawarigumi had left, promising to return soon with the means to board the place up, Hijikata had turned and wordlessly walked back into the complex. Unsure of what to do next, Tetsunosuke had followed soon after, but at a slower pace, wanting to give the man some breathing room. Surely he would come up with a plan to overturn the execution orders and rescue Kondou somehow. The Shinsengumi had protected and escorted Shige Shige back to Edo only. Whoever had been guarding him at the castle should be held responsible for the deceptive friend and his poisoned needle. Not the Shinsengumi. Not Kondou Isao.

What about the Mimawarigumi? Where had they been all this time? They hadn’t participated in the ploy against the enemy. “Isaburou has to be behind this—”

“I do _not_ want to hear that bastard’s name right now,” Hijikata cut in roughly with a sharp glare, “You’re treading a fine line with me here, Tetsu. I gave you your dismissal orders and I expect you to obey them as my final command.”

Tetsunosuke’s hands balled into tight fists. It couldn’t end like this. “But we have to do something! That’s why we’re holding an emergency meeting at the abandoned shrine to discuss ways to get Chief back—”

“And die in the process?” Hijikata crumpled pieces of paper between his hands and tossed them behind his shoulder. “You misunderstand. Kondou-san sent us to the funeral, because he _knew_ he was going to be arrested. If any of us had tried to stop the arrest, we would’ve been sentenced to death, as well. He knew that. He _knows_ that. And that’s why he sent us away, so that he would face the consequences alone.”

“But—”

“To ignore that and act on our own against his wishes is insubordination.”

Tetsunosuke bit his bottom lip. Did Hijikata hear what he was saying? The fact that he wasn’t even _trying_ to save Kondou was disconcerting.

“It was only a matter of time when that poor excuse of a leader became Shogun. Our time as Edo’s protectors is over. Kondou-san foresaw everything and acted to save us, and I will _not_ allow us to demean his sacrifice by foolishly throwing away our lives.”

“But Vice-Chief—”

Hijikata slammed a fist onto the floor, uttering in a voice colder than ice, “Don’t call me that _ever_ again.”

Stunned again by mere words and the callous way in which they were spoken, Tetsunosuke stared at Hijikata, searching a dark unflinching gaze for any sense of meaning in this incomprehensible situation. But there was nothing there. No reason, no light, no fire. Absolutely nothing.

Simply put, they were the eyes of a broken man.

Looking away, as though ashamed, Hijikata said in a calmer but distant voice, “Don’t make me force you into submission, Tetsu. Just do as I say…one last time." 

Tetsunosuke suddenly realized that Hijikata hadn’t punched him or demanded he commit seppuku. All of Hijikata’s threats were empty. Every hopeful argument was countered with a pessimistic one. Aside from bouts of anger, he remained unbelievably reserved, as though both body and soul had lost the strength to stand on their own.

What had happened to the Hijikata Toushirou who never gave up and insisted that personal change and growth was necessary in order to conquer an immovable wall? Where was the man who would fight to save his friends or die trying? Where had he gone?

Had Hijikata completely given up on Kondou and the Shinsengumi, his most important people?

Eyes watering, Tetsunosuke tried one last time to rouse Hijikata into action. The Shinsengumi needed him. The vice-chief was supposed to act in place of an absent chief and lead them to victory. “Hijikata-san,” Tetsunosuke whispered hoarsely, “We can’t do this without you…”

“You can and you will. Kondou-san wants you all to live and my will is the same as his. Are you telling me to go against his will? Are you telling me to disobey him? You better the hell not be.”

“N-No, of course not!" 

“Then stop clinging to false hope and move on with your lives. Forget us—forget the _Shinsengumi_. There is nothing left for you here.” Hijikata paused and lifted his gaze to a scroll on the wall, voice growing quieter. “I’ve done all that I can and I don’t know what more I can do. As it turns out, I’m useless because I can’t do a damn thing without him.”

Tetsunosuke squeezed his eyes shut to barricade the tears that overpowered him, anyway. This was happening. This was really happening. 

The Shinsengumi were no more.

Hijikata had lost his purpose.

And Kondou was going to die.

Taking a deep breath, Tetsunosuke thought back to his first week as an official member of the Shinsengumi after the Mimawarigumi and Joui incident. The men treated him like an old friend welcomed back home. In time, Harada lent him his personal copies of favourite action movies. Kumanaku lectured him on all manner of cleanliness. Kamiyama praised every little thing about Okita whether Tetsunosuke had asked or not. Yamazaki shared his extra anpan and tips on espionage. Saitou always wrote a morning greeting in his notebook. Okita told him embarrassing anecdotes about their vice-chief. Hijikata sparred with him twice a week, entrusted him with important tasks that he left to no one else, and ordered him never to give up. Kondou laughed and clapped him on the back, dispelling anxieties.

_“But when darkness closes in and things seem hopeless, you fight with all you have for even the smallest flicker of light. If you don’t, then that’s when you’ll know that you’ve truly lost your way.”_

Kondou’s words.

Opening his eyes, Tetsunosuke decided on one final move. “This might be presumptuous of me, sir, but I want to turn back to you words that you told me a long time ago…” He hesitated, expecting a rebuke, but seized the chance to continue when Hijikata remained silent. “If you ever doubt the path you’re on, look within yourself and find your purpose again. Then…keep walking forward.”

Hijikata didn’t respond and continued to rummage through his dwindling pile of paperwork.

Tetsunosuke started to leave, but stopped at the doorway, turned around, and saluted Hijikata. “I, Sasaki Tetsunosuke, will always be ready at a moment’s notice to serve as your assistant, Hijikata-san. I…” The lump in his throat was painful. “I’ll keep working hard…and I’ll never forget what you’ve done for me.” He dropped his hand to enfold with his other in front, and bowed low. “Thank you very much!” Then, he turned and walked away, not waiting for an answer he didn’t expect from someone who needed to find his fire again on his own. 

* * *

Hijikata had shown up to the meeting only to, more or less, repeat the same things he had said to Tetsunosuke. The only one who had dared to confront him with harsh words had been Okita, who told Hijikata that they were essentially surviving by stepping on Kondou’s corpse. With such a volatile atmosphere, Tetsunosuke had expected a serious fight between the two where tensions were always brewing.

But instead of expressing outrage, Hijikata had simply puffed on his cigarette, telling them to think however they wish and do whatever they want, and then he vanished into the night.

Disheartened by their vice-chief admitting defeat, the Shinsengumi went their separate ways, scattered into various jobs or else wandered aimlessly.

It had hardly been two days since the official disbandment, but for Tetsunosuke, it felt more like a month. He had taken up a job at an inn as part of the cleaning staff, having no special skills outside of swordsmanship and running errands for people. He considered himself fortunate, as it was unlikely that people would give former Shinsengumi members any kind of paid position in the workforce. Their name had become a disgrace to society, but the Sasaki name still held some leverage, and that in and of itself was more of a disgrace to Tetsunosuke than anything else. But if he had to use his family name in order to survive long enough to do something about the Shinsengumi, then he would.

 _Former Shinsengumi_. Just saying it aloud or in his mind sounded startlingly unnatural, especially for a man who never once imagined he’d belong to a group of samurai he was proud to be a part of.

Pausing to wipe sweat from his brow, Tetsunosuke leaned back on his haunches and stared at the rag in his hand, traces of dirt and dust all over. Wiping the floors during a time of the day when he’d normally be in the archives or out on patrol with Hijikata…

The door to one of the rooms opened and the innkeeper poked his head out in the hallway, thin face narrowed into a glare. “Hey! I’m not payin’ ya to sit on your ass all comfy-like! Get back to work!” 

“Right away, sir!” Tetsunosuke grit his teeth and got back down to cleaning. The innkeeper was an ill-mannered and impatient man who lacked the stature of Hijikata Toushirou that earned fear and respect from many willing to serve under his leadership and not because they had to.

According to rumours, Hijikata had been dumped among the regular police force, the government unwilling to waste the talents of a man like him but also not wanting to grant him high status. He was working with an unpopular police detective of questionable habits, apparently known for indulging in nightly entertainment of the masochistic kind.

Kondou’s execution was five days away.

After his shift was over, Tetsunosuke decided to go for a walk through the busy evening streets, hoping to run into his comrades. The time to act was now before they lost Kondou forever. If any one of them had a feasible plan, Tetsunosuke would go along with it, even if it jeopardized his new job. Better to have tried to rescue their chief than to live on in shame without having moved so much as a finger.

 _“Believe in that and fight, whatever that path may be.”_  

Hijikata’s words echoed in his memory. The path before Tetsunosuke was clear, although it would mean disobeying orders. In his ever-increasing experience as a soldier and samurai, official orders and the right thing to do often contradicted one another.

The streets were lit by fluorescent lights of many colours coupled with the sunset glow, an eerie orange that left him thinking about how they were another day closer to Kondou’s execution. A newspaper and magazine stand boasted headlines of the conspiracy theories surrounding Shige Shige’s death, Matsudaira Katakuriko’s arrest and execution orders, the Shinsengumi’s betrayal, and Nobu Nobu’s rise to power. Families, couples, and friends roamed the district freely, their chatter filling the air along with music and shop employees proclaiming the best prices on products and meals. Delicious-smelling aromas wafting out from restaurants and vendor stands caused his stomach to rumble and he thought about how he’d rather share a plain meal of hard tack and mayonnaise with the Shinsengumi in the wilderness than to eat alone in a city full of people.

His directionless wandering led him to the river where fewer people walked along the banks and bridges, one of which a familiar figure stood upon, gazing down into the water. 

Feeling a tad optimistic, Tetsunosuke broke into a jog, determined to catch Yamazaki before he walked off the bridge. “Senpai! Yamazaki-senpai!”

The spy lifted his head in surprise. “Tetsu-kun? What are you doing here?” 

Tetsunosuke joined him at the railing and briefly peered into the flowing water. “I finished my shift, so I’m just out for a walk…maybe find a cheap meal and then…” After dinner, if he wasn’t scheduled for an evening patrol, he would hang out with a few of the men, playing cards or talking about the day’s events; laughing and joking around in the common room with a comedy show on the television they all shared and bickered over the scheduling of who got to watch what and when. Now, he didn’t know what to do except return to his shabby closet of a room at the inn, ready to wait upon guests and minister to their needs during the night if necessary.

“You’re working at that inn down on the eastern side of the river, right?”

Tetsunosuke nodded. “How did you know?”

Yamazaki leaned his arms on the railing again and sighed. “It’s my job to know. Or rather, I can’t seem to stop working even when I was dismissed. The guys used to joke about how spying and gossiping are one and the same.” A sad smile lit his face. “Not exactly what I would call it, but it was always nice to be remembered in some way, even like that.”

There were a number of inside jokes among the Shinsengumi, almost like a running gag in a comedy manga series, and Yamazaki being the most plain and unassuming person in their ranks was one such joke. And sometimes not a joke, for the spy could easily slip into a restaurant, a Joui rebel meeting, or any gathering of people and not a single soul would notice. That was the whole principle behind espionage, after all, even if it frustrated a man who would rather be acknowledged.

“Where do you work?” Tetsunosuke asked.

“Convenience store. A good place after a bar to gather information. People will talk about anything while buying their adult magazines or heating up meals in the microwave.”

“Where are the others?” Hopefully they were all within the vicinity and prepared to assemble at any given moment.

“Nakashima is working as a host at Takamagahara. Goda joined a delivery service. Eguchi picks up trash cans. Captain Harada refuses to give up and has been hoping to stow away on the next ship for Kokujou Island. He’s secured a job at the docks for that purpose. Captain Inoue is with him, trying to do the same.” Yamazaki went on to state exactly where many of the Shinsengumi had gone, impressing Tetsunosuke with the amount of knowledge Yamazaki had managed to accumulate within a couple of a days. 

“Captain Saitou is unemployed,” Yamazaki continued, “I suspect he has no idea where to go, and probably no one will hire him if he can’t speak to them head on. Captain Okita isn’t employed, either, but I doubt he’d ever work for anyone but Chief.”

Tetsunosuke couldn’t imagine Okita working a regular job, either. He’d probably be fired within five minutes for his rudeness or after the first seemingly accidental death. 

“And…I saw Vice-Chief last night.”

Tetsunosuke’s heart thumped in his chest. “You did?”

“Yeah…” Yamazaki blew air through his lips. “He’s working with a detective agency – joint team of a man and a kid. He was walking with them down toward central Kabukichou. I followed them and I heard something about…chains and collars…” 

“Were they going to a pet store?”

Yamazaki threw him an odd look. “Uh, no…I think the detective was talking about…well, _you know_ …”

His mind drawing a blank, Tetsunosuke shook his head.

“You seriously don’t know what I’m talking about?”

“No?”

“A bondage club!”

A couple of passersby gasped and murmured to one another, casting disapproving looks in their direction.

Tetsunosuke reddened right to his ears, flustered. “I-I understand n-now even though I’m still a cherry boy!” 

“Don’t say that so loudly!”

Lowering his voice, Tetsunosuke continued, “But…why would Vice-Chief agree to go there…unless he really needs to, um…work off stress?” The very idea of Hijikata entering such clubs was preposterous. As far as Tetsunosuke knew, Hijikata only frequented a handful of restaurants and a bar or two when he was out with Kondou, including Snack Smile, usually to quell the tempestuous Shimura Tae whenever Kondou relapsed and gave into old habits.

“He didn’t go in. The kid started lecturing the old man and Vice-Chief just walked away. He didn’t yell at him or anything. I followed after him from a distance. I wanted to talk to him, ask him some things, but then I lost my nerve.” Yamazaki exhaled heavily. “Even though I never lost sight of him, he seemed to be gone already…like he was possessed again, but not by an otaku ghost. He was just…a ghost.”

Tetsunosuke’s heart ached.

“Maybe I should have and maybe he might have yelled at me.”

“I’d much rather be yelled at by Vice-Chief than anybody else,” Tetsunosuke admitted.

“You want to know something?” Yamazaki gave him a pained smile. “Me, too.”

They stood in comfortable silence for a few long moments, watching the river flow and the people walk by.

“Tetsu-kun…do you want to save the Chief and Pops?" 

Bewildered by such a strange question with an obvious answer, Tetsunosuke nodded wildly. “Yes, more than anything!”

“I have an idea, but…it may be considered _treasonous_ ,” Yamazaki began slowly, but then gave a weak chuckle. “I suppose it hardly matters now that we’re seen as traitors, anyway.”

“I’m willing to do whatever it takes to rescue our leaders and reunite the Shinsengumi.”

“Even risking your life? Because we will most definitely be doing that – probably before we even step foot on the island, ha, ha!”

“What do you mean?”

Yamazaki hesitated, drumming his fingertips on the wooden railing. “Uh, well…you see…I was thinking about contacting…Katsura Koutarou.”

_“What??”_

“Ssh, keep your voice down!” Yamazaki glanced around, and when he was satisfied they couldn’t be overheard, he continued, “I know it sounds crazy! The Shinsengumi teaming up with the Joui…” Yamazaki laughed again, although it was tinged with doubt. “But I’ve infiltrated his faction more than once. He may seem like an airhead, but he’s an intelligent one _and_ a famous war strategist. If we’re going to go against the government for real now…he’ll know best how to undermine them. With their help, we might even get to the island undetected.”

Tetsunosuke nodded slowly. The more Yamazaki explained it, the less outrageous the idea sounded, and Tetsunosuke was willing to do _anything_ , even ally with their enemies, to revive Hijikata and save Kondou.

“I’ll help you.”

“Really? You do know what that means, don’t you? If the rest of the Shinsengumi disagrees…there’s a chance we could be punished by Shinsengumi law, like what happened to Itou Kamotarou. Are you prepared for that?”

As one familiar with the archives due to his endless organizing and dusting of them, Tetsunosuke knew the story of Itou, former advisor to the Shinsengumi, now branded a traitor in the historical documents thanks to his secretive liaisons with the Kiheitai. That’s how the country would forever view it, anyway. Kondou had told him how their relationship with Itou had truly ended; how knowing he would die regardless, Itou had fought to protect Kondou and Hijikata and took his final breath with his honour intact.

As it was, there was no other path to take. They couldn’t do this alone. Meeting with the Joui and asking for Katsura’s help would be with the intention of the greater good. Surely the rest would understand that.

Tetsunosuke would take the risk. Kondou and Hijikata had spared and saved his life and it was time to pay them back. “Yes, I am. Are you?”

Yamazaki was quiet for a few moments and then heaved a sigh. “I am…I would rather die trying than to live with the Chief’s blood on my hands in knowing I didn’t even try at all.” He paused, pressing his lips together in a grim line. “Besides, our options are limited. We need _help_." 

“So how do we go about this?”

“Well, there are two problems: getting Katsura to listen and getting the rest of the Shinsengumi to agree to this plan.”

“I used to be in contact with Joui patriots,” Tetsunosuke said, ashamed to admit the truth aloud, “I informed Vice-Chief of the hideouts I knew of, though they are most likely deserted. But I did meet a few outside of the gang I used to run with. You can use me as a go-between, for all its worth.”

Yamazaki nodded. “Great. Thank you for going along with this.”

Tetsunosuke beamed. Finally, things were happening. “Let’s go find Captain Okita and tell him! Then—”

Yamazaki cringed. “Uh, let’s go find Captain Saitou and the others first before we go to Captain Okita…so that we don’t die before getting the chance to carry out our plan.”

Tetsunosuke thought of the possible repercussions of telling Okita they wanted to ally with the Joui – suffice to say, it was a major taboo according to Shinsengumi regulations, and Okita wasn’t one to withhold punishment. There was safety in numbers and it wouldn’t hurt to muster those numbers along with a good deal of courage before going to meet with the scariest Shinsengumi member. “You’re right—”

They suddenly became aware at the same time that they were being watched, and they spun around to find themselves face to face with a large duck-like Amanto – the same one who always fought alongside Katsura.

Yamazaki was the first to speak. “You’re—!!”

Elizabeth held up a sign: _It seems you and Katsura-san had the same idea._

“Same idea? Do you mean—?”

_I was instructed to contact you in the interests of an alliance._

Tetsunosuke could barely believe the words on the sign. Before they had taken their first steps, Katsura had outrun them and made establishing contact with the Joui all the more easier.

“An alliance?”

_Stop repeating everything I say._

“I’m _not_ repeating—” Yamazaki stopped and then sighed. “Fine, go on. Where is Katsura?”

_At a cabaret club known as Snack Smile._

“What the hell is he doing there??”

_Katsura-san has gone to confront the Shogun there._

“And why is _he_ there??”

_Because your vice-chief is also at Snack Smile tonight._

Tetsunosuke frowned. As if the situation wasn’t bizarre enough already, it had grown even more complicated with three major leaders gathering together in the last place they’d expect at this time – except perhaps Katsura.

Yamazaki crossed his arms. “How do you know all this?” 

Two signs: _We have our spies, but so does the Bakufu. They are keeping a close eye on Hijikata Toushirou in case he decides to rebel and go after your Chief._

Yamazaki and Tetsunosuke glanced at each other wordlessly. The government was certainly right to fear an uprising, but now with their spies in the mix, regrouping and rescuing Kondou was going to be more difficult than ever, like confronting a patch of thorns on their path, knowing they’d get cut in the process but plowing ahead because there was no other way to go. 

Besides, there was no better force of people to navigate a tricky bramble than the thorniest of them all, the Shinsengumi. 

“Wait,” Yamazaki said, brow wrinkling, “If the Bakufu knows Vice-Chief is there, then why is the Shogun wanting to see him?”

_If I had to venture a guess: mockery._

“Mockery?”

_I told you to stop repeating everything I say, bastard._

“Annnn, I’m just trying to find the logic in this situation!!”

_The Mimawarigumi are also on the move._

Tetsunosuke stiffened. “Isaburou…” What his older brother planning now? Why would they hold a continued interest in Hijikata if they had already captured Kondou? Hadn’t they already received everything they wanted with the Shinsengumi subdued and disbanded? What more could they want—no, what more could _Sasaki Isaburou_ want when his world was purged of all thorns in his side?

“That’s not so surprising if they’re accompanying the Shogun,” Yamazaki said.

_Think harder._

“You’re really starting to piss me off…”

“She’s right,” Tetsunosuke spoke up, ignoring Yamazaki’s protests. “If Hitotsubashi Nobu Nobu is anything like my brother, then he would see this as an opportunity to demoralize Vice-Chief even further. Isaburou always made a point to emphasize how useless I was. It’s like a game to them...”

_That and maybe they plan to eventually execute him, too. Who knows._

“Then we have to go warn him!” Tetsunosuke turned to leave, but stopped when Elizabeth whipped out another sign.

_Fear not. It is all part of our leader’s plan._

“And what exactly is this plan?” Yamazaki demanded.

_To get arrested and sent to prison to be executed alongside your chief._

Yamazaki almost collapsed on the bridge, but caught himself at the last second. “Is he out of his damn mind? Has he finally lost all common sense? How is getting himself thrown into jail to be killed going to help us??”

_Do you want to save your leader? Do you want to protect this country?_

“What kind of a question is that? Of course, we do!”

 _Then, our goals are the same. Believe in Katsura-san. Believe in your chief._  

Yamazaki stayed silent.

_Let us fight together – not as Shinsengumi or Joui but as samurai for the sake of this country._

The three of them listened to the voices of a world they had nearly forgotten existed; a world that threatened to carry on as sure as the river flowed beneath them without stopping to mourn a soul that might depart forever if they didn’t act now.

Tetsunosuke swallowed hard and turned to Yamazaki. “Well, between us two, you’re next in command, senpai. What are your orders?”

Yamazaki took a deep breath. “That settles it, then. We’re going to go save the Chief and we’re taking the Vice-Chief with us, too. We’re going to become the rebels they say we are for real.” He looked at Elizabeth and gave a curt nod. “Give us some time to gather the Shinsengumi. Then we’ll meet up with you and the rest of the Joui tonight.” 

_Very well. I guess even somebody like you should be allowed to act cool at least once in his life._

“Just shut up!”

Tetsunosuke’s heart soared, but his stomach churned uneasily. There was a chance many of them would die in the process, but more than that, he couldn’t help sensing his world was about to transform itself again in ways he did not expect or hope for.

“Now, there’s only one other person we have to convince first before approaching Vice-Chief,” Yamazaki said with a grimace, “We can’t go forward until the captain of the first unit leads us.” 

* * *

Gathering the men together had been easy enough because Yamazaki knew where most of them were, and through other members they were able to track down the remaining ones. It had taken the rest of the evening and half the night, moving within the shadows and passing news along in whispers. Miraculously, despite a few doubters, they had all agreed to the plan of uniting with the Joui to rescue their leaders because Katsura’s plan was going as scheduled with one minor change.

There had been an incident at Snack Smile and Sakata Gintoki of the Yorozuya had punched the Shogun. The details were a bit fuzzy, but Katsura had indeed been arrested while the rest fled the shop. By now, he would be on his way to Kokujou Island to join Kondou and Matsudaira on death row.

True to his calling, Yamazaki had followed up on where Hijikata had gone to after that. He was hiding out at the Koudoukan Dojo for the time being, shelter generously offered by the Shimura siblings, who were also putting their lives at risk. But they were a part of the Yorozuya and the Yorozuya generally did things like that, sticking their necks out for friends and strangers alike and even their enemies.

What Hijikata would do now was anyone’s guess, but they would leave him there until they found Okita first. He was the hardest person to find, last spotted in a park, but now elusive as daylight faded. 

However, fate seemed to smile on them this night, for he had found his way to them in a shabby neighbourhood along with the red-haired Yato girl, Kagura, and her beast of a dog. Tetsunosuke had gone with Yamazaki and Saitou and a handful of other Shinsengumi to meet with Elizabeth and the Joui in this same neighbourhood.

Reuniting with Okita in such circumstances hadn’t been ideal, and a brief altercation had resulted due to Okita’s suspicions that they had all turned traitor. But it was now resolved and they reconvened at the old abandoned shrine on top of a hill to discuss the matter while Kagura reported this news back to Gintoki and hopefully Hijikata.

“Fourth article of the Shinsengumi Regulations,” Okita stated calmly, seated in the middle of the floor, “‘In the absence of the chief, the right to command is passed to the vice-chief and all officers are to obey him.’ I won’t move a finger until that bastard gives an order.”

Here was the last obstacle and he was right. By law and rank, Okita would not act, even if he had ultimately agreed to the Shinsengumi allying with the Joui. “I made it this far. If I’m going to go save Kondou-san or abandon him, I’m going with that bastard.”

“Do… Do you really think he’ll come back?” Nakashima asked.

“He will!” Tetsunosuke spoke up, nodding vigorously. “I believe in Vice-Chief! He’ll definitely return to us!”

Someone in the back quietly said, “But I didn’t think he would leave in the first place…”

Tetsunosuke’s shoulders drooped, as he heard other murmurs of agreement. Their doubts were understandable, but still painful to hear. They were likely the newer members, who understood a certain image of Hijikata – his demonic reputation – and were unable to accept the reality that he was just a human in the end, capable of a breaking point as much as anyone else. 

Okita’s cool piercing gaze swept the room. “Whoever said that should commit seppuku for doubting your vice-chief.”

The ensuing silence was thick and suffocating. Okita could likely kill them all on the spot – except Saitou, perhaps – and they knew it. The first unit captain would lead and fight with them, but answered to no one except Kondou and sometimes Hijikata, and they were not here to keep him grounded and in control.

Okita sighed. “But since I’m going to take on an entire army and island prison, I’ll need a little back-up, so Zaki can commit seppuku on everyone’s behalf.”

There was an added collective sigh of relief.

“E-Ehhhhh?? Why only me??”

“No one notices when you’re around, anyway, so there won’t be any difference.”

Yamazaki gaped at him. “B-But didn’t I help orchestrate the meeting with the Joui?? You were all there!!”

Saitou held up his notebook: _That was Elizabeth-san-Z_.

“But I had the same idea! Plus I went and found them!”

Okita slowly climbed to his feet. “That’s right, you did.” 

Yamazaki heaved a relieved sigh of his own.

Okita unsheathed his sword. “Since you admit to conspiring with the enemy, you can just go ahead and die.”

“Annnn, what the hell??”

At that point, the tension dissolved and everyone laughed at Yamazaki’s expense, and Tetsunosuke breathed easier.

“Captain Okita,” Tetsunosuke said when the laughter died down, “I collected and laundered everyone’s uniforms and placed them in storage at HQ. I suggest we put them on again and wait for Vice-Chief there.” It was wrong to have even shed them in the first place, but they’d all floundered in uncertainty once Hijikata had parted ways with his own uniform.

Nevertheless, Tetsunosuke had taken it upon himself to care for the uniforms before the compound was formally closed. He hadn’t been the only one, either, for Kumanaku had also stayed behind to give the place a final cleansing.

Saitou was the first to nod his silent approval, followed by murmurs of agreement among the men with a few smiles in place here and there. But the final decision rested with Okita, who had worn his uniform the entire time and was now staring at Tetsunosuke with an unreadable expression that rendered him uneasy.

“Did you also clean Hijikata’s uniform?”

“Of course!”

“Give it to me. As captain of the first unit, I’ll present the vice-chief his uniform.”

Tetsunosuke grinned. “Yes, sir!" 

Later, Tetsunosuke regretted the decision to pass along Hijikata’s uniform to Okita (‘ _never trust Sougo_ ’), but supposed the threatening graffiti was a nice return to the normalcy he knew as familiar and warm and truly fulfilling. 

As Tetsunosuke predicted, Hijikata had returned to the Shinsengumi compound. Welcoming Hijikata back to his rightful place as their leader who would commence the retrieval of Kondou had filled Tetsunosuke with pride, surrounded by saluting soldiers beneath the pouring rain, which had done little to dampen their spirits. They had saved Hijikata the trouble of finding them and demonstrated their renewed faith in his leadership at the same time. 

Now, they were gathering weapons and supplies, and planning out the next course of action, which was to meet and officially ally themselves with Katsura’s Joui faction in order to rescue each other’s generals along with Matsudaira.

The breaking of late afternoon sunlight soon dispelled the rain, but they still needed to wait until nightfall to undertake the rescue mission. Meanwhile, they would share a scrounged up meal – possibly their last – to restore their energy, and then rendezvous with the Joui rebels and make for Kokujou Island.

Tetsunosuke was in the middle of polishing his sword when he looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps to see Hijikata standing before him, holding his uniform jacket. 

“Oi, Tetsu.”

Tetsunosuke jumped to his feet, sheathing his sword. “Yes, sir?” Hearing Hijikata’s voice stirred memories of the way he had looked that night, utterly lost over the abrupt removal of Kondou from their lives. Tetsunosuke hoped he would never have to see Hijikata look like that again.

“Scrub this shit off.” He tossed the jacket to Tetsunosuke, who caught it easily and turned to leave.

“And another thing.”

Halting his tracks, Tetsunosuke spun around and waited. 

Hijikata took out his cigarette and stamped it into the ground, and then looked at him with eyes that blazed anew. “Get me some Mayoboros. I’m all out.” 

Tetsunosuke smiled. “Right away, Vice-Chief!”

* * *

Everything happened so fast.

One minute they were on a battleship under cover of darkness, rounding about the island to landfall at the back where the sea lapped at the shoreline of daunting cliffs. The next minute, they were violently engaged with Mimawarigumi and Bakufu forces on shore, against the cliffs, and deep within the forest.

As an old comrade and friend of Katsura’s, Gintoki had executed a war tactic of burning ships to distract their enemies and notify Katsura of their intentions. That plan’s success encouraged them, as they scaled the cliff walls to break into the prison with an ambush. But that had been anticipated. Tetsunosuke wasn’t surprised to see Nobume leading Mimawarigumi troops, but there was another who watched from a higher vantage point – a sort of priestly man with a jagged scar on his face and one open eye.

Gintoki’s aura had changed completely upon seeing him, stating, with darkened eyes, that he would be the one to confront the strange leader.

Okita moved to face off with Nobume.

Hijikata was going on ahead to find and save Kondou and Matsudaira. Perhaps he would encounter Isaburou out there, somewhere in the madness of Kokujou Island.

The Joui soldiers broke up into their own units to back up the Shinsengumi while Elizabeth took a vanguard to join Hijikata in search of Katsura. Tetsunosuke stayed behind, sparing Hijikata’s vanishing form one last glance before drawing his sword and diving into battle.

With all of Hijikata’s training from the past year drilled into him, Tetsunosuke cried out and met the first blade that charged him. Despite the clamour of gunfire and dying screams, he could still hear Hijikata’s stern instruction guiding him through every movement. He even stopped a sword from slashing his neck, recalling the way Hijikata had broken his weak defense back in what seemed like so long ago.

_“My job to ensure you are ready for battle at a moment’s notice and that you survive to the end of it.”_

With a grunt, Tetsunosuke halted an attack that strained his muscles, his opponent larger in size and probably strength.

But size didn’t matter to Hijikata, who had taught him how to use a person’s weight against them, no matter how heavy or light. Pivoting on his foot and swiftly twisting his body around, Tetsunosuke broke free of their clash and slashed the man’s back as he went down, caught off guard by their sudden change in positions.

The rest of the battle passed in a blur.

Yamazaki was injured, but aided by Shimura Shinpachi of the Yorozuya, the two of them watching each other’s backs and taking down enemies after the other. Just remembering the bespectacled boy’s name reminded Tetsunosuke that Tae had also journeyed with them. She had remained with the rear forces. He prayed she was safe.

Kagura, the only other female comrade on their side, was locked in combat with an enemy that seemed to have caused Okita and Nobume to abandon their own duel and join together to attack the interloper. The new enemy was dressed similarly to the monk-like man Tetsunosuke had seen earlier, but his presence inspired greater fear with just one glimpse of him.

Saving their leaders and surviving at the same time was starting to sound impossible, but he forced himself to cling to optimism. Their leaders and their close acquaintances were some of the strongest people Tetsunosuke had ever seen. There was no way they could lose so easily.

But Isaburou was strong, too.

Tetsunosuke’s thoughts were drawn continuously to his older brother, wondering what would happen if they were to meet here, face to face. He had spent many long nights ruminating over his estranged relationship with Isaburou. There was still so much pain that no amount of soul meditation and sword training could erase. He had once blamed and hated Isaburou for everything that had gone wrong, for all his failures and low points in life.

Now, after joining the Shinsengumi and finding a similar older brother bond in Hijikata and even Kondou, Tetsunosuke realized that his hated for Isaburou had dwindled. He wanted to mend their broken bond somehow and make things amicable between them at the very least. More than once, he had entertained the idea of going to see Isaburou in person, just to have a talk, one that fared better than their chance meeting in Edo weeks ago. But each time he prepared to leave on his days off, he hesitated, thinking he ought to wait until he was stronger, so as to impress Isaburou and finally earn his praise. And so, Tetsunosuke never went.

If only he had.

The battle spilled into the forest, their comrades and allies scattered between the trees and brush. Explosions rang out, lighting the sky with an eerie orange glow. Word spread of Hijikata succeeding in rescuing Kondou, but neither could be found, as the Shinsengumi and Joui gradually regrouped and retreated. In a shocking turn of events, the Mimawarigumi had joined them, as ordered by Nobume, to fight against a new enemy uprising: the Naraku. 

There was still no sign of Isaburou. 

Tetsunosuke ran behind Yamazaki and Shinpachi. Ahead of them, Okita and Kagura helped Nobume run, the three of them seriously injured as far as he could tell. Gintoki led the way, also wounded. They had all barely survived the attack from the Naraku leader and were still fighting back hordes of enemy forces in their attempt to escape the island. 

They came upon a clearing at about the same time Hijikata, Katsura, and Elizabeth emerged from a different direction, surprise crossing their faces. But there was no time to exchange words.

Isaburou was cornered beneath a tree, surrounded by Naraku.

Tetsunosuke’s heart leaped into his throat, jaw dropping when Isaburou collapsed forward with a spray of blood, revealing Kondou, slouched against the base, chin lifted with a shakujou, like he was a piece of trash the Naraku didn’t want to stain their hands with.

They were too late.

Paralyzed by the sight, Tetsunosuke barely registered the other men dropping to their knees or gasping Kondou’s title as the shock traveled from the front of their forces to the back. The pounding of his heart soon drowned out sounds of stricken sobs and curses, as his eyes tore themselves from Kondou’s immobile form to Isaburou stretched out on the ground, blood pooling around him.

“The flag you people have been hoisting is no more,” a low voice rumbled like thunder, belonging to a pale grey-haired man – the same man Tetsunosuke had seen earlier on the cliff, the man Gintoki seemed to know. Tall and imposing, the unholy monk walked ahead of his comrades, drawing all eyes to his dark void of a gaze. “And your reason to fight is gone as well. It is over.” 

None of the Shinsengumi moved, their faith shaken, and even the wounded but resilient Okita seemed rooted to the ground. Bringing their commander home alive was now a lost cause. 

Hijikata’s mouth worked silently, trapped in a stupor, as the Naraku charged forward, but he didn’t notice them, seemed entirely locked on Kondou’s lifeless form.

Tetsunosuke wanted to go to him, to at least defend their last remaining leader and a man he now viewed as an older brother, but his legs buckled and he toppled over, knees slamming into the ground. Tears stung his eyes, as Tetsunosuke watched as a squad of Naraku warriors zeroed in on Hijikata, who remained frozen in place, as though ready to leave them all and follow Kondou forever in spirit. 

Helpless and horrified, Tetsunosuke watched as Hijikata still failed to move while the Naraku warriors raced toward him, a cacophony of chilling rings heralding their approach. 

_Don’t go…please move! Vice-Chief!!_

“It’s not over yet!” 

Tetsunosuke gasped. 

“You don’t get to decide when it’s over!”

Like a bolt of lightning, Gintoki’s voice surged through the Shinsengumi, sparking them to life. “Face forward! Grab your swords!”

The men broke free of their trance. Those who had fallen to their knees in despair staggered to their feet. Swords were gripped anew, steady and resolute.

Gintoki looked back at them, fire in his eyes. “ _Fight, Shinsengumi!!”_

War cries erupted, and the protectors of Edo charged ahead and clashed with enemy forces.

Tetsunosuke blinked his tears away and joined the battle, relieved to see Hijikata transform into an unstoppable demon, cutting down all enemies in his path. 

In the pandemonium, Tetsunosuke spotted a moving form along the ground: Isaburou, crawling toward a blinking cell phone.

Voice caught in his throat, Tetsunosuke moved toward his brother when he froze.

The grey-haired Naraku warrior reached Isaburou first and slammed a foot on Isaburou’s arm, as though flattening an unsightly worm. The monk’s words were lost in the uproar, but Tetsunosuke didn’t need to hear them to know that he had to get there fast. Neither Sasaki brother could be allowed to die at the hands of this frightening man before they amended the rift between them. 

The monk raised his sword.

Tetsunosuke opened his mouth to shout just as Nobume screamed Isaburou's name for them both.

Before the strike landed, Hijikata dove in from nowhere and caught the blade, fending off the monk’s attack. Hijikata, who disliked and owed Isaburou nothing but animosity for dragging the Shinsengumi into this situation, had saved his life. 

Tetsunosuke resumed his race to Isaburou, falling in behind an injured but faster Nobume. All he could see, as he dodged and parried attacks, was her long, dark hair whipping in the air like a banner, leading him to his brother.

What would he say when he reached Isaburou? What _could_ he say?

 _“Chief!!”_ cried a handful of Shinsengumi.

Tetsunosuke spared a glance to his side, astonished by the sight of Hijikata and a _very much alive_ Kondou – evidently the result of a clever ruse – unleashing a joint attack on the monk leader. Their synchronicity was a sight to behold, united by indestructible bonds of loyalty.

Tetsunosuke wondered if he and Isaburou could ever be like that.

Whirring airships from above announced the arrival of reinforcements. 

Emboldened by a rousing speech from Kondou and ensuing cheers, Tetsunosuke’s hope for survival of all pieced itself back together, watching as Nobume dragged Isaburou to his feet and began to run with him. Her own loyalty to Isaburou rivaled Hijikata’s to Kondou. It had always been her at Isaburou’s side for as long as Tetsunosuke could remember. She was everything he was not: skilled, experienced, and powerful. 

Elite.

Hijikata and Kondou were running now, side by side with Nobume and Isaburou.

Tetsunosuke felt as though he would never catch up to them, even if he ran for miles and trained for years.

A bomb descended with a shrill whistle. The ground burst apart with smoke and debris enveloping all in its path.

Tetsunosuke stumbled but picked himself up within seconds, sheer survival instincts pushing him forward. Their allied ship was not far off now. He had to keep running.

Isaburou and Nobume had fallen and were saved by the Yorozuya, who continued to fight wherever their swords and fists and umbrella reached, protecting those within their sight. 

Seeing an opportunity, Tetsunosuke dashed to Isaburou, whose one eye unimpeded by blood widened when he saw his brother. All kinds of words and stories about his experiences with the Shinsengumi flew to the tip of his tongue, but Tetsunosuke held them back. Now was not the time for conversation. They would be able to talk once they were safely aboard the ship.

Taking Isaburou’s arm behind and across his shoulders, Tetsunosuke could feel the burden of decades lift off, replaced by an optimistic weight. Together, the three raced toward the airship, toward another new future and Tetsunosuke couldn’t help envisioning one where he could stand at Isaburou’s side before their family, presenting himself as a member of the famed Shinsengumi. Isaburou would look at him again and _truly_ see Sasaki Tetsunosuke and maybe – _just maybe_ – accept him at long last. 

They reached the battleship. Hijikata was there, waiting at the top of the landing platform, outlined by welcoming light from within. He yelled for them to hurry, extending an arm with an outstretched hand. 

Grunting, Tetsunosuke used every ounce of remaining strength he had left to haul Isaburou up to the ramp, past two dead Naraku warriors. The three of them collapsed to the force of gravity when the airship began to rise. Breathing hard, Tetsunosuke grit his teeth and helped Nobume lift a weakening Isaburou to his feet. The wind roared all around and the smoldering island rapidly shrunk in size beneath them.

Tetsunosuke locked eyes with Hijikata, wanting tell his teacher and vice-chief that he had succeeded in crossing a chasm by helping to save his estranged brother.

Hijikata’s eyes moved beyond him and widened.

Tetsunosuke was shoved violently from behind and sent sprawling face down on the ramp. Momentarily stunned, Tetsunosuke rolled over and saw that the two Naraku warriors were not dead as he had hoped and that what was happening was just as he feared. 

Isaburou, both arms still held out, as though awaiting their embrace, silhouetted by a shower of blood. In the same breath, he spun around and slashed the Naraku with their weapons. Then, he vanished in an explosion that tore the platform in half, destroying the end that he’d been standing on.

Tetsunosuke grabbed Nobume and stopped her from throwing herself over after Isaburou, her bloodcurdling screams filling his ears, as he watched Isaburou plummet to his death, arms still reaching for them.

* * *

Kokujou Island was nothing but a lingering nightmare, as the allied ships flew a straight course for Edo. With a chance to breathe and regroup, the Shinsengumi, Mimawarigumi, and Joui set about readying themselves for the destination by treating injuries and allowing themselves to grieve for fallen comrades.

There was a high chance of Nobume acting out irrationally, so Tetsunosuke stayed with her for the time being along with a couple of Mimawarigumi captains, evidently prepared to follow her chain of command as the highest ranked officer now.

He tended to her wounds and she let him, both sharing a mutually understanding silence. Nothing needed to be said about what they knew and had experienced together, though she suffered from greater pain and loss than he could ever feel.

Kagura soon joined them. She knelt down in front of Nobume and spoke quietly to her.

Needing a moment for himself, Tetsunosuke left them and walked down the makeshift aisles of wounded soldiers. His own minor injuries were incomparable to theirs: broken limbs, bruises and welts, and all manner of bloody wounds, especially on those who had fought and survived the Naraku.

He saw Tae helping one of the soldiers drink from a flask, one of his hands broken and the other missing a finger. When he finished, Tae used a cloth to wipe around his mouth and moved to the next soldier, asking if he required help with anything. When he shook his head, Tae stood up and continued walking toward Tetsunosuke.

“Otae-san.” He had grown accustomed to calling her by that name, much like the rest of the Shinsengumi. “Are you injured?” 

Tae gave him a weary smile, her eyes red-rimmed with dirt smudges on her cheeks. “I’m fine, Sasaki-san, thank you for asking. How about yourself?”

Tetsunosuke ached all over and suffered his share of cuts and bruises, but they hardly bothered him in the wake of losing Isaburou and many friends. “I’m fine as well. I’m relieved to see you’re alive." 

“Likewise. You should go and rest now. You’ll need your strength when we land, I’m sure.”

“Yes…you should rest, too.”

“I will after I visit Kondou-san.”

He glanced around their vicinity and wondered how long she’d been moving about, lending a helping hand without thinking of her own needs.

“Are you looking for Hijikata-san?”

“Eh? Ah, well—yes! Sort of. I want to see if he’s alright…and find out what the next step is.” In actuality, he didn’t know what to do or where to go. Once they were securely aboard, Hijikata seldom left Kondou’s side and Tetsunosuke didn’t want to bother them.

“He’s fortunate to have an assistant as devoted as you.”

Tetsunosuke blushed in spite of himself, though he was pleased by the compliment. “I’m not all that, I—of course, I’m loyal to Vice-Chief! But I mean, I...I try my best to be an asset to Hijikata-san and not a nuisance. I owe him my life. In fact, I owe Chief and the entire Shinsengumi my life and my gratitude for what they’ve done for me, who they’ve become to me...” He forced a little smile. “Even if I’m not the ideal samurai.” He could almost hear Hijikata reprimanding him for voicing self-defeatist thoughts. Old habits were hard to break, especially before those he consider worthy above himself.

Tae frowned slightly. “Nonsense. You are every bit as brave as everyone fighting back there. You are a samurai that the Shinsengumi must be proud to have in their midst.” 

“Thank you…Otae-san. You are too kind.” 

She smiled again and he returned it in full.

After a few moments, she sighed and said, “Take care of Hijikata-san.” She stepped past him unhurriedly, adding, “He spends so much time looking after Kondou-san and the rest of the Shinsengumi that I’m certain he forgets to care for himself. He’s just _that_ kind of man…but it’s not a bad thing.” 

Tetsunosuke pondered over her words, watching her leave. While she looked barely able to continue standing on her own, she didn’t neglect to check on those who appeared to be having trouble with simple tasks. With her smile and comforting words and compassionate hands, Shimura Tae’s presence soothed their pain and eased the burden of grief for the Shinsengumi.

“Tetsu.”

Tetsunosuke almost jumped at the sound of Hijikata’s voice and turned to see him coming down the aisle, his usual cigarette absent from his mouth. “Vice-Chief…” They had exchanged simple commands and affirmations, but otherwise hadn’t really talked since the night of Hijikata’s departure.

“What’s the current status?” 

“Nothing has changed—oh, but Katsura-san did say he wanted to speak with you and Chief before landing.” The Joui leader had flagged him down with a message, knowing him as Hijikata’s assistant, probably from rebel intelligence gathered over months of observation.

Hijikata nodded. “I had the same idea.” 

“We’ll be landing in fifteen minutes.”

“Fine.”

“Vice-Chief?”

“What is it?”

“My brother is dead.”

Hijikata’s knowing gaze bore into him, but said nothing. 

Lowering his eyes to the floor, Tetsunosuke continued, “He died saving me and Imai-san.” Somehow saying it out loud to somebody who had witnessed it made Isaburou’s death all the more real. Since escaping the island, Tetsunosuke had replayed the scene over and over in his mind, recalling Isaburou’s hand on his back for a second – the firm guiding hand of an older brother all too late – and then gone the next, pushing him forward to safety, to life, to the future. “He saved _me_ , the brother he was ashamed of. I survived because of _him_. I never imagined he’d do something like that…”

Hijikata remained silent.

“I was going to write him a letter…it’s too late now.”

Hijikata stood by him for a moment longer, and then walked past him and quietly said, “You still can.”

The words echoing in his years, Tetsunosuke listened to Hijikata’s receding footsteps and thought about how the man understood more than anyone else about the loss of conversation between two brothers and how to rectify that.

He stood there alone for a minute, staring at the floor, listening and feeling the low, steady thrum of the airship. This vessel was carrying them farther away from the island where Isaburou breathed his last and closer to a future Tetsunosuke now faced without the added burden of family pressure. He ought to feel relieved; he ought to feel nothing for Isaburou’s death, but where he expected indifference was the kind of emptiness over losing something he never really had but _could have_. 

It was hard to believe that Isaburou was really gone.

Sighing, Tetsunosuke turned and followed after Hijikata. If nothing else, following orders and running errands would allow his mind a reprieve from haunting memories.

He waited until Tae was finished speaking with Kondou, the two of them sharing tired smiles, and then she left, no doubt bound for the Yorozuya. Hijikata also left Kondou’s side again, mentioning Katsura’s name, and Kondou nodded. That left only Okita at Kondou’s left side and a few other men scattered nearby, keeping a watchful eye on their commanding officer, guarding him like loyal hounds.

Kondou sat upright against the metallic wall, both legs stretched out and arms resting at his sides. Clad only in trousers, he sported bandages in several places, most prominently over half of his face and across his upper torso. Despite being battered and bruised and exhausted, Kondou still managed to give Tetsunosuke a warm smile and beckoned him over to sit by him.

Tetsunosuke saluted and then accepted the offer, settling down on the floor into a cross-legged position, facing Kondou.

“How are you doing, Tetsu? Are you injured? What am I saying – _everyone_ is injured,” Kondou remarked with a sigh, glancing around the loading bay. “And it’s all my fault.”

Tetsunosuke shook his head fiercely with a frown. “Not at all, Chief! All of us would gladly risk our lives to rescue you…” He trailed off, unsure of how to continue. People _had_ risked and lost their lives in the process for their leader. To speak of them now, to say their sacrifices weren’t in vain, somehow seemed wrong at this time, and perhaps Kondou didn’t want that kind of reassurance. 

“Saying you’d risk your life is a sure sign of unwavering loyalty – a trait valued in an army and in a friend,” Kondou began, “What more can a leader ask for? What more can one ask from a friend whom they trust with their life in return? Not much else…” His chest heaved with another sigh, and he lifted his gaze upward, head thudding back against the wall. “But, at the end of it all, when you’re left standing with fewer comrades than you started with…sometimes standing alone…you question whether it was worth it or not when those lives are gone forever.” 

Tetsunosuke grimaced. 

“Don’t get me wrong,” Kondou continued, glancing at him, “I’m eternally grateful that you have all come this far for me…and I will never forget those who died for my sake and protecting each other. They are men of valor and we will honour their sacrifices by continuing our mission to protect Edo and this country – as Shinsengumi and as people just wanting to protect their loved ones and their home. And that includes the Mimawarigumi and Joui, too. We may have our differences, but our end goal is the same: a better future.” 

Tetsunosuke squirmed uncomfortably. The Shinsengumi, Mimawarigumi, Joui, and even the Yorozuya were all pieces on the shogi board, masterfully manipulated by Isaburou to his own purpose. The shame was going to eat him alive if he didn’t address it. “Chief,” Tetsunosuke mumbled, “I—”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Tetsu.”

Chagrined by the condolence, Tetsunosuke blurted out, “It’s alright! I mean…I didn’t really know him in the end, and—and he’s hurt so many people and he’s responsible for this whole situation and for having you arrested—I feel responsible on his behalf as a Sasaki, even though we’re just half-brothers – or _were_ – and I was never fully accepted as a Sasaki but I still use the name—” 

“Tetsu.” 

Wincing, aware of his rambling, Tetsunosuke looked up with a guilty expression. “Y-Yes, Chief?” 

Kondou stared into his eyes and spoke firmly, “Your older brother’s burden is not yours to bear.” 

Tetsunosuke stayed quiet, listening.

“It was never yours. Understand this: Sasaki did everything by himself, it was his choice alone. You, Tetsu, are your own person. You are a member of the Shinsengumi and you fought to protect your comrades on that island. None of what he did will reflect on you and anyone who thinks so deserves a punch in the kisser to stop his flapping lips from lying.”

All of this Tetsunosuke knew to be true somewhere deep inside, but what had risen to the surface was residual feelings over their estrangement. Processing Isaburou’s death, not knowing exactly what or how to feel – it must be jumbling his thoughts, and, once again, he felt weak and foolish for giving into self-disparaging sentiments. But it was liberating to hear Kondou’s words.

“I apologize, Chief…Vice-Chief once told me not to think like this and threatened to punish me if I did so again in front of him.”

Kondou chuckled heartily. “Sounds like Toushi alright. But, you know, he speaks from experience. He used to do the same thing many years ago until I told him to smarten up. It's a waste to diminish your own self-worth. Not only that, apologizing over and over for things you cannot control, for mistakes other people make, isn’t the best way to live.”

The image of a younger Hijikata being lectured by Kondou was amusing, but also comforting in knowing that Hijikata had gone through similar experiences. “I understand, Chief.” Tetsunosuke pursed his lips for a moment, thinking. Then, he added, “I guess I’m confused about myself. Isaburou and I were never close and yet…here I am, wishing he…” Tetsunosuke paused, running his tongue along the back of his teeth, searching for the right words to convey what might sound ridiculous, given his past, but confessing to Kondou might just be the thing he needed most now. “I wish he had lived long enough to see me become a strong samurai, so that I could talk to him as an equal. By then, he would have _had_ to acknowledge me, acknowledge that I’ve become strong. Instead he’s gone, and I thought I wouldn’t care, but I feel sad because…because…” Why were the words so hard to get out?

“You’re sad for what could have _been_ ,” Kondou supplied.

“Yes…Yes! Yes, that’s…that’s all I can think about now,” Tetsunosuke said, “I’m still angry toward him for the way he treated me, for letting things between us be as they were…but I deeply regret that we couldn’t make things right before the end.”

“But you _did_. You helped him and he saved your life. I think that was enough for a man like him.” Kondou closed his eyes with a tranquil smile. “Because, you see, sometimes brothers don’t need words.”

Like blank letters.

Tetsunosuke swallowed hard and nodded.

They sat in comfortable silence for awhile, watching the others talk among themselves and recuperate. Members came and went, updating Okita and Kondou on the squads’ losses. Hijikata soon returned and quietly relayed whatever information he had received from Katsura.

From the corner of his eyes, Tetsunosuke spotted a familiar dark-haired woman stand up and make for one of the exits. She was alone.

Excusing himself from their company, Tetsunosuke left the trio and hurried after Nobume. There was no telling what she could do in her anguished state. Whatever Isaburou thought of her besides the truth in granting her an important position at his side, Tetsunosuke was certain Isaburou wouldn’t want Nobume to throw her life away after he had saved it.

Tetsunosuke followed her onto the windy top deck where they could clearly see the beginnings of sunrise with light spreading across the horizon.

Nobume walked toward the bow, but didn’t stand near the edge. She held a cell phone in her free hand, and stood there, staring out into the ocean where the outline of land was growing clearer. 

They were alone for now, which gave him the opportunity to say what he had wanted to say to her back below deck. He didn’t know if she would listen or if she would react to him in any way at all, but it didn’t matter. Breaking the silence, he began, “I had no idea that my brother had someone who would shed tears for him. I was related to him by blood, but I never understand Sasaki Isaburou at all. It seems I didn’t know him well enough to cry for him.”

Nobume didn’t acknowledge his presence, but neither did she move to leave nor tell him to shut up.

“I found people I could call brothers where my brother dumped me. I met comrades I could call family despite having no blood relation to them. And yet, I don’t know why… But the first person I wanted to show them off to was him, after all.” In spite of the time spent rebuilding himself, he still sought his brother’s approval, but now he viewed it as a desire to unite the people he admired in different ways.

Nobume looked down, perhaps at her phone. Isaburou had always favoured cellphone communication.

His ears perked at a growing procession of familiar-sounding boots gathering behind him, and he didn’t have to look back to know who had joined them. “If possible, I wanted to see all of my brothers having a heart-to-heart,” he finished, thinking especially of Hijikata and Isaburou, the two most influential men in his life. They could have shared a drink together one day with Hijikata losing his cool over Isaburou’s snide remarks and Tetsunosuke proudly serving them their wine.

Nobume suddenly tossed her phone into the air, and he watched it sail over the bow, turning over and over until it disappeared below.

Kondou’s booming voice proclaimed, “Pay your respects to the commissioner-general!”

The collective rustling of uniforms and heels clacking together in formation filled his ears, and Tetsunosuke followed suit, bringing his hand up in a sharp salute.

Nobume did the same.

Facing the rising sun, they bid a final farewell to Sasaki Isaburou: samurai, leader, father, and brother.

_Goodbye, Isaburou._


	4. Home Is Wherever Your Family Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I do not own Gintama or any of the series/characters/etc I reference in passing (and when I have time, I will go through this story again and list them all for disclaimer's sake). I do, however, own the original characters I developed from nameless Shinsengumi members and other non-Shinsengumi characters.
> 
> Well, we've reached the end and I thank everyone who took the time to read and leave kudos or a comment. I didn't expect much readership for a fic about a minor character, especially an unpopular one, but I'm still surprised by the response. Thank you very much. I might write an epilogue for the Silver Soul arc, but only if I have time and feel like it. For now, this is the final part.
> 
> I didn't tag some characters because their featured roles weren't as large as others, so it's not worth tagging them only for people to be disappointed by the characters' minimal screen time. Also, Part Four is all based on personal interpretation and speculation for the Shinsengumi's time during the Rakuyou arc. It's just me making stuff up, which is, essentially, the nature of storytelling. People are always free to imagine differently.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and thanks again for reading.
> 
> Part Four Theme Song: "Raize" by INORAN (fic title inspired by this song)

After thanking the shop owner, Tetsunosuke hurried back to the outskirts of a small and somewhat rundown post-station with purchases in hand. He passed by a few outdoor vendors and inhaled roasting meat scents and sweet treats, and though his stomach rumbled relentlessly, he wouldn’t stop to indulge himself. The prospect of returning to tasteless rations didn’t fill him with joy, but he would endure the lack of a good hot meal for a while longer with his traveling companions. Besides, they had to budget accordingly out here before joining up with the rest of the Shinsengumi.

It had been nearly two weeks since the Shinsengumi departed Edo with the mission of stirring up revolution throughout the country – ironically after much counsel with one of their longtime foes, Katsura Koutarou. It had been a surprising sight to see Hijikata sitting across Katsura, the two of them engrossed in deep discussion over the nation’s future, but they’d all be fools if they chose to disregard the advice of a famed military leader. The Shinsengumi – before they had become known as such – had skirted the Amanto War and arrived in Edo sometime afterward. Katsura had lived and fought through it, and thereby possessed valuable knowledge and experience of war and politics. Old hostilities were set aside in return for his vital counsel.

Kondou and Hijikata had agreed to this plan, taking the Shinsengumi and absorbing disbanded Mimawarigumi members and recruiting others along the way. The goal was to inform the people of the true nature of the current government, the truth behind Shige Shige’s death, and the future they would all fight for. After leaving Edo with heavy hearts, the Shinsengumi spread out in all directions, promising to keep in contact with Matsudaira until the time to return to Edo arrived.

Holding the reins of two horses, Hijikata waited, also dressed like a simple farmer but in blue and grey shades, complete with a straw hat held in place by a string. The need for caution was stronger with him, as a more recognizable figure. Tetsunosuke could coast by on his ordinary looks alone – he was almost as plain as Yamazaki – so long as he didn’t give out his family name.

The horses drank from a shaded trough on the outermost edge of a small stable, tails whipping about in a state of contentment.

Instead of a greeting, Hijikata said, “The posters are up. We should leave now.” The posters were essentially handwritten letters to the people, detailing their anti-Bakufu sentiments and why they needed to rise up and defend their country from a government that had turned on itself and endangered the people it had sworn to protect and justly rule. For passing through small towns and villages in a hurry, these posters were all they could depend upon aside from rallies and anti-government demonstrations.

“There was no mayonnaise.”

“What do you mean ‘no mayonnaise?’” 

“They were all out.”

“How can a little general store in the middle of nowhere run out of mayonnaise so fast?” 

“I asked and they said they don’t stock a lot of it, so maybe two or three bottles. The last one was sold early this morning.”

“Go find out who bought it and I’ll go buy it from them. Or barter. A horse ought to be good enough to exchange for a bottle.”

One of the horses lifted his head and snorted.

Tetsunosuke hesitated, unsure of whether this was an official order or not. When it came to mayonnaise, he still couldn’t tell half the time if Hijikata was serious when he said things like this. It was almost high noon on a hot windless day. Maybe the heat was getting to him.

Fortunately, Hijikata went on, saying, “Damn it, Kondou-san will be upset if I sell a horse. I’ll just have to leave it. Did you get some razors?”

“Yes, sir! Along with some bread, apples, and more ink and paper.” There’d been more perishable food items he’d wanted to buy, but their funds were limited and they couldn’t afford to take too much food that would spoil easily or attract predators. Somewhere down the road they could indulge in a hot meal at Kondou’s discretion.

“Don’t call me ‘sir’ out here. How about cigarettes?”

“No Mayoboros, sir—er, Togorou-san.” They had all taken to calling their superiors by their family names or nicknames in public instead of their old titles to preserve secrecy. Hijikata had chosen the name Togorou, but gave no reason as to why and no one asked. Tetsunosuke guessed it was a combination of Toushirou and Tamegorou. Either way, it was both nice and strange to refer to Hijikata on a first-name basis, however temporarily. It was also a more normal choice than some of the others, like Kondou’s ‘Gorizilla’ and Okita’s ‘Himura Kenshin’ or, alternatively, ‘Battousai.’ “I checked two places, but couldn’t find any cigarette packs.”

 “Tch. None at all? Not even the cheap brand? How can they sell everything else _but_ cigarettes and mayonnaise??”

“None. There were no vending machines, either. I don’t think they go much for modernity here.” Tetsunosuke presented him with a kiseru. “I did pick this up instead, if it will do! I also bought a small bag of tobacco to go with it.”

Hijikata stared at it for a few seconds and then sighed, plucking the pipe from Tetsunosuke’s hands. “I suppose it’ll have to do, seeing as how this whole village is against me. I should probably quit smoking, anyway. That mountain damn near killed me.”

“But at least we successfully evaded the enemy, sir,” Tetsunosuke reminded him, recalling the trek halfway up a mountain to temporarily hide and cross into the next prefecture undetected. It had been awhile since they’d undertaken an outdoor excursion of such magnitude, but Tetsunosuke’s stamina had benefited from the strenuous exercise. Hijikata’s, however, had suffered due to his steady habit of smoking. Kondou had reminded him again to quit, even though Hijikata stubbornly insisted his momentary lapses in the march were due to old injuries. Naturally, Okita had had a field day, poking fun at Hijikata wheezing and puffing excessively at random intervals. 

“I told you to stop calling me ‘sir.’”

“Yes, s—Togorou-san!”

“Keep your voice down, idiot.” Hijikata tucked the pipe and bag away inside his clothing. “Let’s go.”

Tetsunosuke mounted his horse with some difficulty, careful not to fall over the other side like he had the first time, much to the amusement of his comrades. Embarrassing himself again in front of Hijikata, who had more horse sense than he did, was not an option. Envious, Tetsunosuke watched Hijikata pull himself up with ease, as though he had been riding his entire life.

Tetsunosuke initially counted himself fortunate that he had ended up in the group that would accompany Kondou, Hijikata, and Okita across the countryside until he discovered the hardships of a life devoid of modern conveniences. Despite being born before the Amanto invasion, he had lived in the city all his life with moderate comforts, such as access to abundant food that could be bought through local markets. He had rarely given thought to how these markets were supplied, but he did now as they passed by several kinds of farms and fields, wondering what kind of life those entailed.

The core Shinsengumi members were country-born. Where they had once been awkwardly adjusting to life in Edo, they returned to a life they had known before, one often looked down upon by those in higher social classes. Out here, they were very much in their element: bathing in cold rivers without much complaint; gathering usable firewood; knowing which plants to avoid and which ones were edible; how to read the atmosphere of towns and villages and deduce their general income; and more. They had even fallen back into their natural dialects – always present in some form, somewhat suppressed due to living in Edo, but now heavily relied upon in order to blend in with the locals and remain inconspicuous.

All in all, Tetsunosuke was fascinated by how much more relaxed many members appeared to be, like they were enjoying a vacation instead of fleeing government forces on their heels.

At least he wasn’t alone in his rural challenges. Yamazaki and a few others in the group also struggled to adjust to life on the run in an unfamiliar environment, but the Shinsengumi, if nothing else, were stubbornly tenacious, come what may.

They had managed to procure a few horses along with cheap-bought saddles for the journey through the lands well off the main roads. It would be hard for the government to track them down this way. They would spread the seeds of revolution within the villages on the way to larger towns and cities where they would eventually regroup with other Shinsengumi and former Mimawarigumi members who had joined them. Everyone, even those in outlying villages, needed to know the truth and what could possibly happen for the future of their country.

Riding a horse was a frightening idea in and of itself for some of the men, but Kondou had insisted on it, saying that they would cover more ground. Time was something they couldn’t afford to waste. The inexperienced would receive lessons on the way. Additionally, the horses would relieve them from the burden of carrying supplies, such as rations, water, and some bedrolls in case an injured man needed to rest. As for their regular sleeping hours, Kondou expected them to tough it out against a tree or along the ground. For him, this journey doubled as an excuse for training.

“Nothing like getting back to nature and camping under the stars!” Kondou had said jovially on their first night around a campfire, sitting on a log and gazing skyward with a smile that suddenly faltered, and he shot to his feet. “Yeow!!” He twisted his upper body around as much as he could, cringing as he rubbed his butt cheeks. “I think there’s a splinter in my ass!”

“That might not have happened if you were wearing clothes,” Hijikata had said dryly, arms crossed.

“Toushi, can you have a look for me and pull it out? I think it’s wedged in deep! Here, I’ll point my butt toward the fire so you can see better!”

Hijikata had winced, seemed to hesitate over how to answer.

Harada had remarked, “I didn’t know there was going to be a full moon tonight,” sparking laughter from the rest.

Just as he had been about to answer Kondou, Hijikata yelped when a rock thudded against his shoulder, and he glanced around quickly for the culprit. “Sougo, what the hell??”

“Kondou-san said that we should get back to nature, so I’m using rocks instead of bombs,” Okita had explained, holding a pile of stones the size of baseballs in his arms, “I can’t get too comfortable out here and forget my original goal of replacing you as Kondou-san's right-hand man.”

“I think you have rocks in your _head!_ ” Hijikata had snapped back, rubbing his shoulder and glaring daggers at him. “Commit seppuku right now for your insolence!!”

Everyone had laughed, and Tetsunosuke came to fondly anticipate and treasure these countryside nights. Tonight was sure to be no different, even though it would be one of their last nights out in the open before they reached the next city.

Hijikata led the way in a steady trot down an old road forking off from the main road, leading into the forest. Sitting tall with relaxed shoulders and hands gripping the reins at a comfortable position for guiding his horse, Hijikata looked every bit as regal as the samurai of old, riding into battle on a magnificent beast instead of a patrol car. Tetsunosuke could almost see Hijikata decked out in armour with a helmet replacing his straw hat, the splendid sight of a general on horseback.

Tetsunosuke usually opted for walking (mostly because riding was painful), but Hijikata had chosen him to come along for the ride into the nearest post-station for a few supplies. The reason was unclear, but Tetsunosuke was glad to have been personally handpicked, even if it meant having to ride a horse. Most took turns and often doubled up when they were in a hurry, partnering up with whomever was nearest, so long as they were with an experienced rider.

“Any news from Edo?” Hijikata asked, breaking Tetsunosuke’s reverie.

“Nothing has changed. The newspapers still talk about how we’re traitors. No major trouble except for the usual crimes. Speaking of which, I saw some wanted posters for local bandits at the post office. A few of them looked like Amanto.”

“Hn.”

“The post master warned me not to leave the main highway and to hide my sword if I didn’t want any trouble.”

“The post master is wise.”

“I’m a bit surprised, sir. I thought the government had managed put a stop to the widespread thieving in rural areas.”

“Unfortunately, those living far from the cities don’t top the priority lists,” Hijikata said, glancing at him, “The police that patrol the area can only do so much, which leads to residents forming their own security.”

There had been a small police station back in the village along with a moped that seemed to be the only vehicle to exist there. They were passing through a region mostly untouched by technological advancement, whether by a yearning for the good old days or a lack of finances. Only now and then did an airship or helicopter pass overhead and they were a quite a distance away from the main railway that lined the eastern coast. It truly was a different world out here, a step back into the past before the arrival of the Amanto.

Hijikata continued, “Even then, that isn’t enough. No matter how many laws you put in place or how many soldiers you distribute across the land, crime will always find a way to thrive, particularly on the weak and vulnerable.”

“I noticed they were rebuilding a lot of places,” Tetsunosuke remarked, “The general store owner mentioned that many people had left for larger towns and the cities, but some choose to stay because it’s their home. They’re trying to keep the village going for travelers, at least.” 

Except for the buzzing of insects and warbling of birds and the clopping of hooves, they rode in silence, surveying the land before them. All around them was endless forest, including on the foothills in the north from where they had traveled down from the last couple of days. The flat open areas gradually disappeared behind them as they wound the old road along a bend, passing a couple of dilapidated homes and overgrown fields. At least two more days of countryside traveling was still ahead of them before they reached the next largest city.

Suddenly, Tetsunosuke’s horse whined and picked up the pace. “Whoa! H-Hijikata-san!”

“Stop fooling around and relax,” Hijikata said, “If you’re nervous, then your horse will pick up on that.” 

“But I’m not nervous! I feel great!” And he did, out in the fresh air next to his most admired person, but with the way his horse was acting, he guessed he would soon have a reason to worry. 

Hijikata halted his horse and motioned with an arm for Tetsunosuke to do the same. The clopping of their hooves came to a standstill, agitated tails flicking about. 

“Hiji—” 

“Ssh!” Hijikata looked northward with a frown. 

Straining his ears, Tetsunosuke heard the rustling of leaves and a few low birdcalls that resembled nothing he’d heard out here; birdcalls that could easily be a signal from one party to another across the expanse.

Then, Tetsunosuke saw them. 

Five bandits approaching from the north and six from the south, trampling out of the woods, less than three hundred yards away on either side, a little farther on the south where the six were crossing a creek. Most of them were human with a few Amanto mixed in. Yelling and raising their weapons – mainly swords and spears as far as he could tell – they were moving fast and closing in, especially the three on horseback. 

“Of course, they waited until we were out of sight of the village, the lousy bastards,” Hijikata grumbled.

Tetsunosuke clutched the reins, heart racing. “What do we do?” They had no radio dispatchers to call for back-up from their comrades a good three to four miles away. They were alone and outnumbered.

Hijikata cursed under his breath and started his horse forward. “We’re sitting ducks out here in the open. Let’s go! If we can reach the forest, we might be able to lose them. Better to lead them away from the village and closer to our allies.”

Fear struck Tetsunosuke’s heart, as he mimicked Hijikata’s movements, leaning forward and off his saddle, throwing his horse into a gallop westward to the edge of the forest. It wasn’t so much fear of battle as it was fear of battle on horseback – or falling off the horse in mid-run. He only had attempted once, but now was not the time to dwell on failure. It was do or die.

Hijikata’s horse kicked up dust, widening the gap between them.

“Watch for arrows!” Hijikata yelled over his shoulder. “Hurry!”

Tetsunosuke glanced behind and saw the riders gaining on him.

Looking was a mistake.

Tetsunosuke turned forward again in time to see a low-hanging branch of a single tree – the only damn tree in the open along the beaten road and it was too late to divert the horse’s trajectory. He cried out and ducked low, but startled the horse into running faster, unbalancing him and throwing him off.

He hit the ground and rolled off the road into the grass, the impact blasting the wind out of his lungs and for one terrifying second he couldn’t breathe. Wasting no time, he gulped down air and launched himself onto his feet, stumbling and sprinting away, ignoring the pain. The bandits’ laughter burned his ears, but he kept running, determined to put some space between them before he was forced to turn around and defend himself. There was no way he’d make it to the forest in time; no choice but to stand his ground and fight. 

Up ahead, his horse continued galloping down the road, dust clouding out behind.

_I’m sorry, Vice-Chief! I—_

Breaking through the dust was Hijikata and his horse, running straight back for them. With his hat hanging down his back and one outstretched arm bearing a sword, Hijikata’s fierce expression sent chills down Tetsunosuke’s spine. 

Trusting in Hijikata to stop the bandit riders, Tetsunosuke drew his own sword and spun around, running past the riders and staying out of range of their swords and spears. They barely noticed him, apparently more focused on the charging vice-chief. 

Instead, Tetsunosuke ran toward the first fleet-footed bandit – a pointy-eared, blue-skinned Amanto humanoid, who was at least twice Tetsunosuke’s height and muscle mass.

_“When you face your opponents, be fearless and dignified.”_

Tetsunosuke pushed away his doubts and searched for the quickest way to disarm or incapacitate.

“You’re going down, tubby!” the bandit said, raising a large straight sword like an axe.

Using one’s anger for one’s benefit was also another lesson Hijikata had taught and Tetsunosuke was definitely incensed by the petty remark about his physical appearance. Hijikata was certainly no stranger to fighting while furious, but always allowed the emotion to fuel – not weaken – his technique. Tetsunosuke vowed to mirror his mentor’s actions.

The bandit’s sword crashed down and embedded itself into the ground.

Tetsunosuke thrust his sword into the bandit’s mid-torso, feeling the blade break skin and muscle.

Howling in pain, the bandit sank to his knees.

Tetsunosuke swiftly pulled his sword out, shaking the blood off and focusing on his next opponent.

The second bandit attacked with a side strike.

Tetsunosuke deflected it, steel screeching against steel until he forced the bandit’s sword up and kneed him in the groin. Tetsunosuke then slashed at the man’s sword-bearing wrist and ran toward the next opponent. 

Outnumbered, he had to keep moving and subdue each fighter long enough to defend himself against the next one until he was in a more advantageous position where he could increase the distance between each enemy instead of defending against subsequent attacks. 

The third bandit was more quick-witted than the first two. They exchanged blows, neither backing off. Tetsunosuke’s mind raced to strategize, as he saw the remaining five bandits catching up to the battlefield. 

“So you’re not just a page boy like we thought,” the bandit hissed through clenched teeth, “You have some training!”

“More than you know,” Tetsunosuke grunted. 

“You can’t win! I’m the best swordsman here!”

“No.” Tetsunosuke ducked the next strike and rammed his body full into the bandit, stabbing into the man’s lower abdomen. Jumping back, he winced when the man’s blade slashed his cheek and shoulder, but did his best to absorb the pain and stay focused. 

Crumbling to the ground, the bandit convulsed and yowled.

“I’m sorry,” Tetsunosuke panted, “but I’ve been trained by the best swordsman and it’s not you.”

The bandit cursed and spat at him. 

Tetsunosuke kicked away the bandit’s weapon and set his own into a defensive position, awaiting the next foe. 

“Wait, wait, wait!” One of the bandits dropped his sword and held his hands up in surrender. “Just hold on! We want to talk to the other guy!” The remaining five followed suit. 

Reluctantly, Tetsunosuke lowered his sword and backed away, mindful of any sneak attacks, as he spared a quick glance behind him before gasping and realizing why they wanted to stop.

The enemy riders had been knocked off their horses, some groaning on the ground while others lay motionless, their horses running wild around the grassy plain.

Hijikata rode up to the group at a slow gait, sword dripping with blood and clothes splattered just the same, breathing hard with a dark glare fixated on the bandits. If their perspective was anything like Tetsunosuke’s, then they _all_ saw a demon of war advancing toward them.

Grateful that he was not Hijikata’s enemy, Tetsunosuke spoke, “They want to talk to you, perhaps to negotiate their fates.”

“I’m not interested in negotiating with _scum_ ,” growled Hijikata, never taking his eyes off the bandits. “Tell them they’re all under arrest and will be detained by the local authorities—”

“Uh, we can hear you—”

“And tell them I’ll lop off their heads from here if they interrupt me again or casually address me.”

By the alarmed expressions on all of their faces, Tetsunosuke was certain they understood very well, but nonetheless reiterated, “Please be advised that you are being arrested and detained, and that if you speak to him when _not_ spoken to, you’ll only be aggravating him further.”

They murmured among themselves, casting suspicious glances at Tetsunosuke and Hijikata.

Finally, one of them stepped forward, saying, “Hey – what can two do against five?” This earned nods and grunts of approval that morphed into jeers and laughter. He pointed his weapon at Hijikata. “You’re talking mighty big because of that high horse of yours. Clearly you’re more experienced with fighting on horseback, but who’s to say how you are on foot? Why don’t you come on down and fight us on equal grounds?”

Tetsunosuke simply shook his head, almost pitying them and their ignorance. Had they not witnessed their riders’ utter defeat? Only the insane would challenge an obviously skilled and deadly swordsman, who had emerged victorious while outnumbered.

“Fine by me!!”

Their laughter abruptly ceased, as Hijikata dismounted and untied his hat, tossing it to the side. “Take the reins and watch for additional enemies,” Hijikata ordered, thrusting the reins into Tetsunosuke’s open hand without looking at him. “Do not interfere. This fight is all mine.”

“Understood, sir!”

Glowering, Hijikata stalked toward the bandits, who shifted uneasily. He brought his bloodied sword into an offensive position. “I haven’t had mayonnaise and Mayoboros for days now and it’s pissing me off!”

“Mayonnaise? Mayoboros? What…?”

“Some idiots forgot to bring razors and now I’m starting to resemble a trigger-happy perverted old man!”

Actually, Hijikata was far from that stage, though he did sport a slight shadow around his mouth and chin from no razor for the past several days, and he complained daily about unwanted stubble. Even Harada was starting to grow hair again.

“On top of it all, I’m traveling with a brat who would rather see me behind bars more than the damn government does! I have to sleep with one eye open in case he decides to make me a ghost sooner than planned!

“Why are you traveling with someone who wants you dead?! Are you admitting you’re that stupid??”

“Cutting all of you down will do me some fine stress relief, so come at me! All at once! I’ll show you who’s a half-witted, short-tempered, can’t-walk-up-a-mountain-without-collapsing-his-lungs coward!!”

“None of us said any of that!!

Hijikata pointed his sword at the one who spoke. “Shut the hell up or I’ll kill you!” 

“Oiiii, why are you threatening us when we’re supposed to be threatening you?! Why is the situation reversed??”

The questioning and bickering was quickly lost to cries and groans of pain, as Hijikata charged the leader with a snarl, slashing at his chest and legs and disarming him in seconds. The other four moved to surround him, but Hijikata dodged their swings and ran straight through them, as though heading back to the village.

“Oi, he’s running away!!” 

“He _is_ a coward!”

They didn’t stand a chance.

Hijikata spun around, striking the first one to attack with dizzying speed, blocking a thrust and piercing through a shoulder in one clean sweep. Before a second bandit could replace the fallen, Hijikata ran again and turned, fending off the second attack and trading blow for blow before slashing the abdomen, all the while moving backward, sometimes kicking forward with a quick burst of an attack or grabbing an arm and twisting it around, preying upon their weaknesses. He did this again and again, creating a one-on-one situation with opponents too naïve and inexperienced to realize the trap. 

Not only that – Hijikata was dragging the fight out on purpose, injuring but never fully incapacitating, allowing each bandit to continue attacking. They grew angrier and more reckless, succumbing one by one to a slow and tortuous conveyor belt of defeat.

The feral grin on Hijikata’s face revealed his enjoyment.

Hijikata was, by no means, a graceful fighter, certainly never to inspire poets and songwriters seeking beautiful movements. That sort of style was for the noble-born, the prodigies with the most prestigious masters, and the _elite_. In contrast, Hijikata appeared untamed and ruthless, like a raging wildfire, but Hijikata was always in control of his agile movements and cultivated every gust of wind and scorching flame to his advantage from battle-honed experience. Those who sought to attack him in their overconfidence were easily reduced to ash.

Soon, the last bandit fell, unconscious or dead. It was hard to tell from where Tetsunosuke was standing. 

One more tried to get up, yelling as he did, but a solid punch from Hijikata knocked him flat on his back, effectively silenced.

Chest heaving, Hijikata wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and tore off a strip of cloth from one of the bandits, using it to wipe his sword clean.

“Well done, sir!” Tetsunosuke called out. 

Hijikata looked up, about to respond when he froze and cocked his head with a frown, staring off to the side.

Tetsunosuke heard the low thrum of a moped rounding the bend, coming from the direction of the village, a trail of dust clouds behind what appeared to be two riders.

Glancing around the carnage and wondering how they would explain it, Tetsunosuke bit his lip and asked, “What do we do? Run away?” 

“Too late for that.” Hijikata sighed and sheathed his sword. “Hand me my hat. We’ll go and meet them.”

Tetsunosuke followed after Hijikata, leading the horse around the fallen bodies, putting distance between them and the battlefield.

In less than a few minutes, the motorbike slowed to a stop, and they could see that the driver was a man no older than Hijikata with a goatee and close-cropped black hair, wearing blue police cap with an insignia bearing the village name. The passenger was a shaggy-haired boy wearing a sky blue yukata with a couple of different colored cloth patches sewed into it.

“That was one heck of a battle,” the driver remarked, turning the ignition off and setting the kickstand. “We watched from a distance. I radioed in the police from the next town over. I reckon they’ll be along shortly to take care of the mess—”

“What the hell are you doing, bringing a kid here?” Hijikata demanded sharply.

“Hey, hey, the kid insisted I take him to you, just yellin’ in my ear to go,” the man said, shaking his head. “We thought you were only travelin’. Didn’t expect you to go wild here…”

“Pardon me,” Tetsunosuke said, “but who are you exactly?”

The man lifted his cap up in greeting. “Name’s Shiga, town security at your service, and the kid is—”

“Yuuto!” The kid slid off the back seat and bounded over to the two with a quick bow. “Pleased to meet you, sirs!” 

“Please to meet you, too,” Tetsunosuke said, returning the boy’s warm smile.

“I saw both of you fight!” Yuuto continued. “It was awesome! You were outnumbered, but you took all of them down!” He looked at Hijikata, adding, “Especially _you!_ I saw you take them down from your horse! You’re amazing!” 

“Why did you let him watch?” Hijikata said to Shiga, “Do you want to traumatize him?”

Before Shiga could answer, Yuuto cut in, “It’s okay, sir! I’ve seen blood before and I watched a horse give birth!”

“This is nothing like a horse giving birth!”

“I’ve also watched swordfight movies, too! But I’ve never seen a battle in real life before! That was real cool!”

“Yeah, it’s just like the movie,” Shiga said, peering at the fallen bandits off in the distance, “Except instead of seven samurai, there’s two.” He squinted at Hijikata. “Wow, you even got Kikuchiyo’s crazed eyes alright.”

Hijikata glared at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You’re the Shinsengumi, aren’t you?” Yuuto asked.

Refraining from answering immediately, Tetsunosuke glanced at Hijikata, who also said nothing. Despite their intentions in leaving behind a politically charged write-up, they couldn’t freely give out their identities with the government tracking them. With more police on the way, they would have to leave the area very soon, but how would they shut down the questions of a child too curious for his own good?

“The Shinsengumi?” Shiga chuckled and ruffled Yuuto’s hair. “Get real, Yuuto-kun. What would the Shinsengumi be doin’ way out here? They’re supposed to be in important places doin’ important business. No way they’re gonna come all the way out here to this backwater station just for the hell of it." 

“Oi, watch your damn mouth in front of the kid,” Hijikata said with a frown.

Shiga gave him a weird look. “But you cussed in front of the kid, too…”

“You _are_ the Shinsengumi, I just know it!”

“And what makes you say that?” Tetsunosuke asked, hesitantly. 

“I overheard you at the stables earlier! I was cleaning out a stall when I heard you say ‘Kondou-san’ – you mean Kondou Isao, the leader of the Shinsengumi, right?”

“Uh, well—”

Yuuto pointed at Hijikata. “You were asking for mayonnaise! Hijikata-sama likes mayonnaise, right? You wanted to get some for him! It’s the only explanation!”

Tetsunosuke’s jaw dropped, unsure of how to respond. Not only was the boy right on the money, but also somehow didn’t realize he was speaking directly to Hijikata himself – who was currently frozen in place, eyes wide.

“Mayonnaise?” Shiga echoed, raising an eyebrow. “How on earth do you know somethin’ like that?”

“I know because when the Yasuhiros took me to Edo once, we ate in a ramen shop and he was there, too! Well, I only saw the back of him, though, I didn’t see his face,” Yuuto said sadly, “But they were both wearing the Shinsengumi uniform. We saw others like them during the day and Yasuhiro-san told me they were the Shinsengumi, protectors of Edo!” He grinned. “I felt safe after hearing that.”

Tetsunosuke grinned back and asked, “So, how did you know it was Hijikata-san?”

“ _Because!_ ” Yuuto’s excitement bubbled over, as he jumped from one foot to the other. “Because the other guy with him said, ‘Hijikata-san, there isn’t another moron in the entire universe who loves mayonnaise as much as you do and I’m thankful.’” 

Tetsunosuke coughed to hide his chuckle and glanced over at Hijikata, who was dragging a hand down his face, muttering something about giving ‘that bastard’ an earful when he got back. 

“I wish I could’ve met him because I love mayonnaise, too!” Yuuto grinned, showing one missing tooth, “Mayonnaise is delicious! If Hijikata-sama is a moron, then I’m one, too!”

“You better not say that to his face if you ever meet him, then,” Shiga warned, smirking. “I’ve heard of him, too. They say he’s a demon wearin’ human skin.”

The sheath cracked in Hijikata’s grip.

Cringing, Tetsunosuke swiftly intervened to prevent bloodshed in front of Yuuto. “Now, now, it _is_ true that Hijikata-san has a strict reputation, but I am certain he is fully human!” 

“I don’t care if he’s a human or a demon,” Yuuto said, “I still want to meet Hijikata-sama!”

Shiga clicked his tongue. “Well, I don’t know if that’s possible now…the newspapers are draggin’ his name through the mud along with the rest of the Shinsengumi. They’re sayin’ he failed to uphold his duty or somethin’ like that and escaped punishment like a coward.”

Tensing up, Tetsunosuke glanced at Hijikata for the hundredth time, seeking guidance or preparing for a confrontation.

Hijikata was completely soundless and motionless. His unpredictability proved more unnerving than his angry outbursts, and Tetsunosuke feared what Shiga or Yuuto might say next.

“I heard what happened,” Yuuto said quietly, “Lots of people blame the Shinsengumi for the Shogun’s death…”

With the subtlest of movement, Hijikata titled his head downward, the brim of the hat covering his eyes.

“But I don’t believe it. It has to be the bad guys who did it. The Shinsengumi have protected Edo for a really, really long time.” Yuuto scrunched his face into a frown, thinking. “I know! Somebody wanted to get them into trouble!”

“What do your parents think of you saying that?” Tetsunosuke asked, marveling over how this boy could have such an unexpected viewpoint on a tragedy and a faith so strong that he refused to believe the Shinsengumi could be traitors. Perhaps his parents had influenced his opinion if they believed similarly.

“Yuuto-kun doesn’t have any parents,” Shiga explained, “He was orphaned as a baby when his village was destroyed in a mudslide. Tanaka, the old man runnin’ the stable back there, has been raisin’ him ever since. Yuuto reads every newspaper with the Shinsengumi in it. He really idolizes them.” 

Yuuto grinned. “They’re my heroes, and that’s why I’m gonna work real hard and earn enough money to get to Edo on my own and join them! If they’ll let me that is…” His shoulders drooped, grin replaced with a grimace. “I don’t know how to use a sword, but…but I can learn! I practice everyday with a good branch I found in the forest! I know I could learn real fast!”

Hijikata remained quiet.

Shiga sighed. “To be honest, I don’t know what to believe. There are lots of crazy things happenin’ out there with aliens comin’ and goin’. The story is all twisted ‘round by the time it reaches out here. Maybe they are responsible, maybe they aren’t.” He shrugged.

“They _aren’t_ ,” Yuuto insisted, shaking his head, “because they’re here, protecting us just like they protect Edo. Those posters say the Shinsengumi are gonna carry out the late Shogun’s will – to protect the country. And that means us because we live in the country!” 

“I think they mean Japan the country,” Shiga corrected him, “and not necessarily the rural countryside—”

“He’s right.” 

All three glanced at Hijikata in surprise.

“The boy is right.” Hijikata stepped forward, stopping a few feet short of Yuuto. “The Shinsengumi are going to protect the countryside, too. We’re new recruits they’ve sent out here specifically for this village because they knew about your bandit problem and wanted to help you. That’s why we’re here.”

Grinning again, Yuuto turned to Shiga. “See? See? I knew it! I told you the Shinsengumi are here to protect us!”

“Are you really or are you just pullin’ my leg?” Shiga asked Tetsunosuke. “You seem more level-headed than Kikuchiyo-san here.” 

“Don’t call me Kikuchiyo!!”               

“Er, it’s true, Shiga-san…” Tetsunosuke replied carefully, eyes darting back and forth between Shiga and Hijikata. “As you must’ve read on our posters, we are not only informing the people of our objectives for the nation but we’re also recruiting those who wish to join Matsudaira Katakuriko’s faction.”

Shiga whistled low, scratching the back of his neck. “Wow, things are gettin’ crazier, I see. I guess owe you a salute,” he added, and he did so in too relaxed a manner. “Never thought the famous Shinsengumi would give a damn about us out here.”

Hijikata opened his mouth to speak – or scold – but Yuuto beat him to it. “They do because a lot of them were born in the country!” Yuuto turned back to Hijikata and smiled. “Just like me.”

All of the animosity emanating from Hijikata for Shiga dissolved in an instant when Yuuto spoke to him. Tetsunosuke couldn’t quite pinpoint the emotion in Hijikata’s eyes, but his entire countenance had lost its severity, perhaps because of this boy’s unwavering faith in the Shinsengumi.

Or maybe Hijikata was thinking of his past younger self.

When he said nothing, Tetsunosuke intervened, saying, “Indeed, the Shinsengumi have several country-born members! They traveled to Edo with dreams of helping and protecting the people – but not just there, of course! They never forgot their roots, so naturally, when embarking on this nation-wide mission of theirs, they planned to cross through the rural areas to bring the people news and…” 

He could feel Hijikata’s penetrating gaze and Tetsunosuke knew he was rambling away again, maybe too much. He quickly moved to explain that because the Shinsengumi weren’t liked that much by powerful people at the moment, they would have to leave today—and before the police Shiga had called in from the larger town arrived.

“So, you see, we had just enough time to bring these villains to justice!” Tetsunosuke finished, “But now we have to go and meet with the Shinsengumi before they leave us behind.” 

“Aw, okay,” Yuuto said with a forced smile, but then he gasped. “Oh! I almost forgot!” He reached inside his yukata and produced a familiar-looking item.

It was a bottle of mayonnaise. 

Like gravity, Hijikata’s eyes – which had widened a fraction – were instantly drawn to the bottle and Tetsunosuke briefly wondered if the man would start salivating.

“I bought it this morning, but when I heard you were Shinsengumi, I begged Shiga-san to take me to you.” Yuuto walked over to Hijikata and held out the bottle of mayonnaise. “Sir, will you give this to Hijikata-sama? I want him to have it instead.”

Hijikata glanced at the bottle and then back to the boy. “What makes you so sure I know him? I was only recently recruited. Maybe all I’ve seen of him is his back, too.”

“I heard you say you would give a horse for a bottle of mayonnaise. I bet you’re Hijikata-sama’s loyal servant! Only someone desperate enough to give his great master mayonnaise would think of selling a horse! But don’t worry, you don’t have to give me your horse!”

Tetsunosuke was extremely glad he had been chosen to accompany Hijikata and not Okita, who would take every single chance to irritate Hijikata, including this boy’s blissfully ignorant statements.

Hijikata pressed his lips together tightly before answering, “As a matter of fact, I _am_ his loyal servant. You have sharp instincts – a good trait for a swordsman.” He took the mayonnaise and held onto it. “What’s your full name, kid?”

“Handa Yuuto!”

“And how old are you?”

“Ten!”

“Handa Yuuto,” Hijikata said, sounding out the name slowly, as though committing it to memory, “When you grow older, come to Edo and look for Kondou Isao. He’ll train you in the way of swords.” 

Yuuto frowned. “But what about Hijikata-sama?”

“You can be sure that wherever Kondou-san is, Hijikata-san will be with him, too,” Hijikata answered with what seemed like a faint but sad smile. “Kondou-san is an excellent teacher and a great man. Hijikata-san would be happy if you learned from a samurai like him because Hijikata-san was also his pupil for a time.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yes. And listen…” Like a father speaking to his son, Hijikata knelt down and – to Tetsunosuke’s astonishment – placed the bottle of mayonnaise back into Yuuto hands. “I think Hijikata-san would want you to have this mayonnaise. To think there would be another person out in the world who loves it just as much as he does…well, I think he’d be overjoyed to know he isn’t the only moron in the universe, after all.” 

“You really think so?” 

Hijikata nodded. “I’m certain he’ll want to share a Hijikata mayonnaise rice special with you when you meet him someday.”

Yuuto’s eyes shone like gold, brighter than the sun. “Thank you, sir!”

Tetsunosuke bit his lip to keep from laughing when Hijikata didn’t lift his hand away from the mayonnaise ten seconds after relinquishing ownership.

“Uh, you gonna let go of that?” Shiga asked. 

“Huh? Eh—of course, I am!” Hijikata scowled at him. “Like I care about mayonnaise, it’s disgusting!” He lifted his hand, stared down at the bottle for a few seconds longer, and then stood up. He cleared his throat and crossed his arms, casting a stern eye on the kid. “So there you have it. Now go back home and finish cleaning those stalls. Hijikata-san doesn’t approve of slacking off on the job. Work hard and maintain your health. Obey your superiors and exercise self-discipline.”

Shiga half-whispered to Tetsunosuke, “Why is he talkin’ to the kid like he’s a soldier? I don’t think Yuuto even knows what ‘self-discipline’ means.”

Eyes gleaming dangerously, Hijikata edged his sword out with enough force to create an eerie scratch of steel, and hissed, “How about I show you the meaning of ‘ _disciplinarian_?’”

Shiga grinned sheepishly, waving both hands up in surrender. “Nah, it’s alright!” 

“Yes, sir, I will!” Yuuto bowed with a grin. “Thank you, sir! I hope I can see you in Edo, too! What’s _your_ name?” 

“…Just call me ‘Togorou.’” 

“Togorou-san, maybe you’ll grow to love mayonnaise as much as we do!”

“Maybe,” Hijikata said, but he smiled. It was one of his rare genuine smiles that Tetsunosuke tucked away in his collection of treasured memories.

“Ah, yeah, so those bandits…” Shiga gestured with his chin. “Just leave them here, I guess, the other police are on their way— _ahhh!!!”_

The second Hijikata had walked over to the security guard and struck his head with the sword’s pommel, Tetsunosuke knew it had begun. After all, Hijikata had been astoundingly calm and composed throughout most of their conversation, but his patience only stretched so thin, as experience had taught Tetsunosuke.

“Oh, did that hurt? Was that unexpected? Was your guard down?”

Clutching his head, eyes shut in pain, Shiga groaned, “What the hell—”

Hijikata whacked his scabbard against Shiga’s chest and barked, “Straighten up! Slouching is unacceptable and unbefitting of a soldier.”

“But I’m not a solider, I’m just a security guard!”

“I said _straighten up!_ Don’t make me tell you a third time or I’ll permanently straighten your spine for you.”

Shiga blanched and squared his shoulders, standing to his full height. “Y-Yes, sir! Right away, sir!”

“Tuck your shirt in! Fix that damn collar! I will not tolerate sloppy appearances in my presence. Don’t you have any shred of pride left, you half-wit?”

“Yes, sir! I do, sir! I’ll try to be a full-wit, sir!” Shiga hurriedly turned down his collar and rearranged his shirt into proper order.

“Quit dawdling!”

Tetsunosuke could sympathize, recalling his embarrassing behaviour in his early days with Hijikata. Now he was more than accustomed to Hijikata’s expectations even if he didn’t always meet those high standards. Shiga was experiencing his own rude awakening, as he stood rigid and attentive while Hijikata berated him. 

“Wow…” Yuuto’s mouth hung open, eyes glued to Hijikata. “Amazing! Togorou-san is really cool, too!”

“I think so, as well,” Tetsunosuke said.

“What’s _your_ name, sir?”

“Uh, Tetsuya.”

“I’m glad to have met you, too, Tetsuya-san! I saw you fight off those bandits before Togorou-san got to you. You were really cool, too!”

Receiving praise from a child who also idolized Hijikata resulted in the best feeling of the day. Tetsunosuke smiled and said, “Thank you, Yuuto-kun!”

Hijikata was still ranting away at a flinching Shiga. “Always be on your guard for threats of any kind, even if it’s a nest of hornets! If you can’t defend a village from hornets, what makes you think you’ll be able to defend them from bandits and enemy soldiers?”

“Hornets don’t carry swords and guns! How am I supposed to defend an entire village by myself? Be reasonable, sir!”

“It makes no difference whether you’re a security guard or a stableman or the village idiot – _you_ are responsible for the safety of that post-station. Lives depend on _you_ , including the life of Handa Yuuto here. And mark my words—” Hijikata leaned in close, voice dropping to dangerously low levels. “If Hijikata Toushirou finds out that something has happened to that boy because of your incompetence, he will not be as merciful to you as I am being today—and only because I’m short on time and I can’t stand to be around your stupidity any longer. Spend less time slacking off and more time worrying about how seppuku might not be the only punishment Hijikata inflicts on you. Am I clear?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Speak up!”

“SIR, YES, SIR!!” Shiga all but shouted, voice echoing across the clearing.

Hijikata leaned away and crossed his arms, still regarding Shiga with disapproval. “Tch. Idiot.”

“Togorou-san!” Yuuto ran over to Shiga’s side and stood upright, saluting Hijikata. “Is there anything more I can do in order to become more like Hijikata-sama??" 

Hijikata looked down at Yuuto for a couple of moments and then raised his eyes to Tetsunosuke. “Instead of seeking to become more like Hijikata-san…you should be more like his assistant, Tetsunosuke.” 

An invisible punch knocked the air out of Tetsunosuke’s lungs, as he stared in shock at Hijikata.

“I’ve heard his name before! He was in one article, but they didn’t say much about him. Do you know him, too?”

Hijikata nodded. “Enough to say that Tetsunosuke works harder than anyone else and doesn’t give up when it gets tough.” He glanced at Tetsunosuke again. “That’s the kind of samurai you should be, the kind Hijikata-san can rely on.”

Overcome by emotion, Tetsunosuke smiled with shining eyes. “Vice-Chief!”

Both Shiga and Yuuto blinked in surprise, chiming, “Huh?”

Hijikata grit his teeth, shaking his head slightly with widened eyes.

Tetsunosuke fumbled for words to recover. “ _That is_ , the Vice-Chief…of the Shinsengumi…which is Hijikata-san…who is _not_ here…he’s elsewhere, smoking mayonnaise! I mean, eating cigarettes! Ah, I mean—he is _most revered_ by Tetsunosuke that he seeks to emulate him in every way possible!” He forced a laugh, reaching behind his head to scratch his neck, trying not to think about how scary Hijikata’s eyes looked right now. “In fact, without him, Tetsunosuke would not be here today. To hear that Vice-Chief relies on him would make him happy because he has longed for approval from the person he admires more than anyone in the world.”

The frightening gleam in Hijikata’s eyes seconds earlier over nearly revealing his true identity had vanished, now replaced by another indecipherable emotion, but it held a measure of acknowledgment and acceptance of Tetsunosuke’s words. And that was enough.

“I’ll become both Tetsunosuke-san and Hijikata-sama, then!” Yuuto declared, “And Tougorou-san and Tetsuya-san, too! I want to be like all of you!” 

Hijikata reached out and patted Yuuto’s shoulder, saying, “I’m sure you will become great on your own.” Looking to Tetsunosuke, he added, “Tetsuya, we need to leave.” 

“Right away, sir!”

Hijikata spoke to Shiga once more, explaining that they would bind the bandits with what rope they had and let the police deal with them.

Eager to part ways, Shiga had agreed without complaint, moving fast to start up his moped, calling for Yuuto to get on.

Yuuto bid both of them farewell and then hopped on the back seat, waving as they rode off.

For a few moments, Hijikata and Tetsunosuke watched the two villagers return eastward, the moped backfiring every once in awhile, scaring away a handful of birds off the road. 

“Maybe I should have taken the mayonnaise,” Hijikata muttered, sounding forlorn.

Tetsunosuke simply smiled.

Sighing, Hijikata turned around and walked to his horse to retrieve rope from a supply pack. They worked quickly to bind the unconscious bandits, but left those who had succumbed to their wounds. Then, they decided to leave the bandits’ horses for the villagers to retrieve as their own. Tetsunosuke’s horse, however, was trotting back to them and she wasn’t alone.

Two men on horseback guided Tetsunosuke’s horse along the road. One of them was easily recognized as Yamazaki, riding low and clinging to the horse’s neck.

The other was a bushy-haired and bearded scarred man they couldn’t identify, and that man, clearly more comfortable atop a horse, called out to them, “Oiiii!” Holding the reins of Tetsunosuke’s loose horse, he rode up to them ahead of Yamazaki and offered the reins out to them. “She ran right back to us. I had Yamazaki on standby, watching from the trees for your return. When he saw there was trouble, he informed me and we rushed back here as soon as we could, but I see it’s all good now!”

Tetsunosuke and Hijikata glanced at each other, mirroring confused expressions. The man’s voice was familiar, but somewhat muffled by the thick moustache that covered over his upper lip.

“I decided to take Yamazaki with me so he can gain more riding experience,” the man continued, “He’s doing alright, but needs to work on his posture.”

Yamazaki carefully straightened up, clutching his reins. “I was doing fine until you started us into a gallop!”

“Who is this?” Hijikata demanded to Yamazaki, gesturing with a nod to the other man.

“Uh, it’s Kondou-san…?” 

The bushy-haired man chuckled. “Don’t you recognize me, Toushi?”

Hijikata gaped at him. “How the hell did you grow that much hair in an hour??”

“These last few days in the wilderness have been so relaxing, I decided to let my inner gorilla out!”

“You look more like a lion than a gorilla now!”

“‘Now?’ What do you mean by ‘ _now_?’ Are you saying I always look like a gorilla? How mean, Toushi!" 

Like a fish, Hijikata opened and closed his mouth several times, speechless.

Kondou started laughing. 

Tetsunosuke couldn’t help joining in, because the sight of their hairier commander throwing his head back and laughing high to the heavens made life seem so much simpler. Yamazaki chuckled, also, and their mirth must have been contagious, for they received an even more surprising sight:

Hijikata, smiling, then chuckling with his eyes closed, and then finally, joining them with a deep, resounding laugh that Tetsunosuke never believed he’d ever have the pleasure of hearing. 

It didn’t matter where they went or how they looked, home was wherever the Shinsengumi were, and for the first time in his life, Tetsunosuke had finally found a family to call his own.

* * *

Tetsunosuke rolled onto his back and stared up at a clear night sky, the glittering stars visible like he had never seen before in his life. Among the stars were blinking red and blue dots that were either satellites or space ships passing through the earth’s atmosphere, bringing more Amanto in or sending more humans out into the ever expanding reaches of the galaxy.

Sleeping on the ground with his pack for a pillow and the crackling fire for warmth had been his way of life for the past week. Tonight was the last time they would camp out in the open; tomorrow they would be in a city, rendezvousing with more Shinsengumi and other allies. Instead of relief, Tetsunosuke welcomed this reality with bittersweet feelings. Out in the wilderness, it was easier to forget the past and imagine a future without war. Here, surrounded by comrades snoozing away, save for two on guard, Tetsunosuke was content to live like this a bit longer, even if the nights could be unsettling for one unused to camping outside in total isolation.

The daytime noises of insects and busy birds had quieted down, and the rustling of trees didn’t hide the distant hair-raising howling of some animal he couldn’t identify – or at least he hoped it was an animal and not a lonely spectre wandering the forest. They had managed to avoid bears, had successfully escaped the path of a wild boar, but if they encountered any supernatural foes, he didn’t know exactly how they might fare. Some of the men believed, some didn’t, but over a joke made earlier in the evening about vengeful ghosts, Tetsunosuke saw Hijikata look around the clearing with eyes as skittish as a deer’s. 

Whatever fears Hijikata had didn’t seem to prevail in him at the moment, for he slept with his back against a tree, arms crossed with a peaceful expression, undisturbed by nightmares tonight, as he had appeared to be two nights ago. Tetsunosuke had risen for his two-hour guard shift and noticed Hijikata frowning in his sleep, waking with a breathless start minutes later, at which point Tetsunosuke pretended to be fascinated by some overgrown moss on a fallen tree. Whatever had haunted Hijikata then was showing him mercy on this calm night.

“Tetsu,” came a whisper from Ishikawa, who stood over him, shadows dancing across his face. Ishikawa, one of the medics, was somebody Tetsunosuke had gotten to know better on this journey across the country and they shared the same interest in rap music. “It’s time.”

“Thanks,” Tetsunosuke whispered back, sitting up and stretching out the kinks in his neck and arms. Standing up, he reached for his sword and stepped lightly over the snoring men sprawled out around the clearing, some leaning against logs or each other’s backs for elevated comfort. Sleeping flat on uneven ground with nuisances like pebbles and roots was a last resort.

Saitou was the only who found a comfortable spot in the branches of a large tree, able to fall asleep anywhere and anytime. Tetsunosuke missed their conversations, for Saitou rarely spoke at all without his notebook or any other form of written communication, although he sometimes used a stick to write a short message in the dirt.

Kondou was the luckiest, getting to rest his head on Okita’s thigh, the younger man sitting cross-legged against the same tree as Hijikata. It was a good kind of strange to see two men who bickered often trust each other to some degree to sleep next to one another, but Tetsunosuke figured it was their devotion to Kondou that kept them nearby, protecting their leader at all times. 

Another soldier, Murase, relieved the other guard, and he nodded at Tetsunosuke with yawn, coming to join him a few feet away from the group to discuss their tasks in barely discernible murmurs. Murase would take a quick patrol around their perimeter while Tetsunosuke checked on the horses. Then, they would settle in with the group again, keeping out a watchful eye and ear for the unordinary.

The horses were tethered near a grassy patch and just beyond it lay the curve of a stream. Tetsunosuke drank the last of his flask and knelt down at the bank, filling it to the brim with cold water. He almost choked on another gulp of water when a rabbit scurried away from a bush. Wiping at his mouth and chin with a sigh, Tetsunosuke stood up and closed his eyes and inhaled the fresh air, wanting to remember this moment of peace, just him and the horses and the babbling stream where a small number of fireflies were gathering. It was a perfect moment that might never exist again.

The crunch of twigs and leaves beneath footsteps caused him to open his eyes, tensing up in case it was an enemy, but it was only Hijikata, walking toward him, thumbing tobacco down into the end of his pipe. 

“Vice-Chief,” Tetsunosuke greeted him, as Hijikata came to stand nearby, lighting the tobacco with his mayonnaise lighter, briefly illuminating his newly clean-shaven face. Of course Hijikata wouldn’t leave that custom made lighter behind. “Can you not sleep?” Perhaps the nightmares had returned.

Hijikata drew in a long breath from the pipe and exhaled slowly, faint tendrils of smoke visible in the glow of their campfire that filtered through the trees. “Thinking about too many things,” he answered, “and Sougo finally finished apologizing to me in his sleep.”

“Apologizing?”

“About all the things he’s done behind my back in the past three months alone. I’ve taken a mental note and will punish him in the morning and for the rest of the week – a different punishment for each individual misdeed.”

“Ah…” Tetsunosuke fought a tiny smile from surfacing. Some things never changed and that was comforting.

“Brat isn’t even sincere,” Hijikata grumbled, “I know he’s fully aware of what he’s doing, annoying me on purpose…” 

They stood in silence for a while, listening to the stream and watching the fireflies. A thousand thoughts ran through Tetsunosuke’s mind, wondering how long Hijikata would be awake and if they would have a conversation. Soon Tetsunosuke would have to take up a perimeter patrol and Hijikata might leave to sleep, for he always took his shifts before dawn. Tetsunosuke hadn’t dwelled too much on the day’s events with Shiga and Yuuto, but once the traveling had slowed, he thought about Hijikata’s expressed approval of his abilities and how much it had filled him with joy. It was the one thing he needed to hear most at this time.

Hijikata cleared his throat, lifting his gaze to the sky. “Tetsu, I never did get a chance to properly thank you.” 

“For what?”

“For talking some sense into me the day they disbanded us.”

So Hijikata had taken those words to heart. “There’s no need to thank me, Vice-Chief—” 

“Just shut up and listen.”

Tetsunosuke clamped his mouth shut.

With one arm folded into his side and the other holding the pipe away from him, Hijikata sighed and shook his head, staring down at his feet. “I’m not good at this sort of thing, but I feel it pertinent to speak before we reach the city. Contrary to general opinion, I’m not such a heartless bastard that I wouldn’t acknowledge the efforts of my subordinates.” 

“I thought no such thing, sir!”

“I meant what I said earlier today. True, you gave me a hell of a time with your rough start. I came very close to killing you and I don’t think drowning you in a vat of mayonnaise would’ve been enough to appease my anger.”

Tetsunosuke shuddered, knowing he’d been foolishly treading the thinnest line possible back then with a terrifying man.

Hijikata paused to puff on his pipe, and then continued, “But I gave you a chance because I saw in you the potential to change. And you did. My time has not been wasted. Your loyalty and perseverance are fine qualities in a samurai. You have done well to earn your place in the Shinsengumi.”

“T-Thank you, Vice-Chief!”

Hijikata gave him a stern look. “Don’t think this means you can get comfortable and do whatever the hell you want. As long as you remain with us, you will follow my orders, Kondou-san’s orders, and the orders of your superiors. If you don’t and your actions become an impediment to the Shinsengumi, I will not hesitate to deal with you as I see fit.” 

Strangely enough, Tetsunosuke didn’t feel any fear or discouragement in hearing these words, because they were spoken by a leader overseeing many lives and vowing to faithfully serve the highest in the command until death. “I understand, sir! I have no intention of dragging us down.” He could finally say ‘us’ with a sense of belonging.

“I know.”

 _That_ caught Tetsunosuke by surprise, however, but he didn’t question it. Hijikata was an enigma and sometimes it was best to leave him at that. Instead, Tetsunosuke had something else to say in return. “Can I say something, sir?" 

“What is it?”

Taking a quick gulp of water and a deep breath, Tetsunosuke focused on the circling flight of the fireflies in an attempt to ease his nerves over what he was about to share. “What I said today is true. I’ve done my best to earn your approval, but, as I learned from Kondou-san and from you, I know it’s not a necessity. I realize now that what I have always needed most is…to _believe_ in myself. And that whatever purpose I find in my life, I must dedicate myself fully to the cause. No half-assed efforts. Not anymore.” He smiled at Hijikata. “I have learned that from you, who never does anything halfway.”

Hijikata continued smoking, saying nothing, but Tetsunosuke knew that he was listening.

“I will continue to give it my all, so that you can rely on me tomorrow and the next day and the next. I understand how important your role is and that you have no time for people who drag their feet.” Tetsunosuke raised his voice a notch, slipping back into formality. “Vice-Chief! Once again I, Sasaki Tetsunosuke, pledge my allegiance to the Shinsengumi. I will work hard, so that you can keep moving forward without looking back! I will be right behind you, as always, as your humble assistant until you no longer need me! I will—”

“Alright, alright! I get it!” Hijikata scowled at him. “You’re so damn loud – you know that, right? Idiot.”

“Sorry, sir—”

“Tch, I’m sick of apologies right now, so just shut up and follow my lead.” 

“I will, sir!” 

Tetsunosuke didn’t know how long they’d been talking, but he knew he had to make his rounds around the camp soon and check in with Murase. But before leaving, he asked one final question that was on his mind, concerning Yuuto. Just as Hijikata saw potential in Tetsunosuke, so did Tetsunosuke see the potential in the boy, who displayed the same eagerness for learning as he did after the warehouse incident with the Mimawarigumi.

Isaburou’s face flashed in his mind, memories of the Kokujou Island flooding back. Tetsunosuke pushed them away, determined not to think of Isaburou until the right time to do so arrived.

“Vice-Chief, do you think Yuuto-kun will come to Edo someday?”

Hijikata brought the pipe to his lips, but not before murmuring, “Who knows?”

Watching Hijikata interact with Yuuto and treat the boy so differently than anyone else had been amazing and was something Tetsunosuke wouldn’t forget anytime soon. There was a certain kind of gentleness coupled with a firm manner of instruction that made Tetsunosuke believe that Hijikata would make a fine father someday if he chose to be. He was a fine brother, after all. 

“I hope he does,” Tetsunosuke said softly, smiling at the thought of Yuuto one day knocking on the doors of the Shinsengumi complex – if it was still in tact – and asking for Kondou and Hijikata and receiving the surprise of his life. “Meeting Yuuto-kun was encouraging. There are still people who believe in the Shinsengumi, who believe we’ll continue to protect them, just like we always have.”

Hijikata stared at the fireflies in silence before quietly adding, “Well, let’s not disappoint them, then.”

“Yes, sir!”

* * *

With leftover paper and ink from Yamazaki, Tetsunosuke stole away a bit of time to himself to ponder over his letter. He would have to keep it with him until he somehow made it to Kyoto to personally deliver it, because he didn’t want to rely on estranged family members to take his letter to the Sasaki family gravesite. If this first letter turned out well enough, he might write a second one whenever he returned to Edo. 

Smoothing the paper with a flat palm, Tetsunosuke picked up a brush and dipped it in ink and held it there, thinking about where to begin. Writing Isaburou’s name seemed like a good start and so he did just that in neat script honed by many hours of writing reports and letters on behalf of Hijikata. But afterward, nothing else came to mind. Tetsunosuke had spent the last year imagining what he might say to Isaburou face to face. Now, with a lost opportunity and only the written word to suffice, he didn’t quite know what to say first or how long the letter should be.

Hijikata had written nothing to his older brother, but sending a blank letter reassured his brother that he was alive. There was something elegant about such simplicity that Tetsunosuke didn’t believe he was capable of duplicating it. Isaburou had been a man of words – usually manipulative and damaging words when it came to his enemies and brother – and a lover of e-mails in which he expressed himself through many words. Words held a different weight with Isaburou and blank letters simply wouldn’t do for new beginnings between them.

He supposed the key to letter-writing was its purpose. Hijikata’s purpose with Tamegorou was clear and he still sent them even after Tamegorou’s death. Tetsunosuke had never written a single letter to Isaburou in his life and the only purpose in doing so now was a personal journey of healing and reconciliation with his older brother. 

Tetsunosuke gently set the brush down and crossed his arms, brow wrinkled over a number of topics that entered his mind. He could talk about how he had felt during childhood or when he reached adulthood. He could discuss in detail his experiences with the Shinsengumi, but maybe Isaburou wouldn’t care to hear about that no matter how many anecdotes Tetsunosuke had. What would Isaburou want to know, then? How Edo fared after his death? What Nobume was doing now? Tetsunosuke didn’t know about either and felt a pang of bitterness over how Isaburou had cherished Nobume more than his own half-blood brother.

“Rice balls again!” said somebody that sounded like Goda in the next room. “We ate them yesterday for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the past three days. I swear I’m gonna shit rice balls soon.”

Eguchi replied, “Go work at a host club like Nakashima and earn us money for more variety of food.” 

Goda snorted. “That’s right, he was a host for a grand total of two days.” 

“Hey, I was making good money, you know!” broke in Nakashima with a clearly offended tone. “I was finally getting some dates!”

“Those were just your customers!” 

Tetsunosuke sighed when he heard the makings of another argument, but also smiled, thinking about how the men of the Shinsengumi could be hunted and hated but not discouraged from behaving as they usually did, regardless of their circumstances.

It had been four days since they left the keep of the forest and rural regions, entering a neighbouring city and regrouping with their allies. They had sold their horses on the outside to farmers and villagers with greater need for the animals. Then, they had gradually entered the city in groups of two and three, so as not as to draw attention to themselves. The Shinsengumi then took shelter in a district home to various nightclubs and host clubs, bars and pachinko parlours, expensive restaurants, and one or two or five shady-looking people in immaculate black suits or other dressy outfits with a tattoo or three showing.

In short, it was a lot like Kabukichou.

For the most part, the Shinsengumi kept a low profile, some occasionally venturing out in the daytime to cure boredom or catch wind of any news from Edo or the current political situation in the city. At Kondou’s orders, Yamazaki and a couple of other spies had been gone for the last day and a half, stationing themselves in different areas within the city and along the outskirts, gathering information and gauging the public opinion of what was happening back in Edo. Until they contacted Matsudaira or he contacted them – Kondou was still deciding – they would await further orders and continue speaking out against Hitotsubashi Nobu Nobu’s government.

Tetsunosuke had gone outside a couple of times, but mostly stayed within the confines of the partially abandoned five-level apartment building where the Shinsengumi occupied the middle and upper levels, watching the streets from the windows like hawks and trading information with a variety of people – mostly the homeless and runaways who sought shelter in the building.

Most of the furniture was either gone or broken, and the hallways and rooms with faded green paint smelled musty, but for men being tracked by the government and those loyal to Nobu Nobu, it would do fine. Maybe not for Kumanaku, who was daily straightening up the remaining furniture in every room and cleaning what he could with cold water and worn old rags. But for the rest of them, Tetsunosuke included, it was tolerable, as long as they didn’t think about how Matsudaira and his group were probably hiding out in a luxurious hotel.

Goda whined again, “There’s a takoyaki stand down the street…”

Ishikawa’s calm voice answered, “Not a chance. It’s near a police station and Captain Todo was almost arrested yesterday. Most of the police here are determined to get on the good side of the government by hunting us all down.”

“Well, then, we’ll go to one that _isn’t_ near a police station.”

“Just shut up and eat the damn rice balls I spent an hour preparing because none of you bothered to help me.”

“Maybe we would if the filling wasn’t always just mayonnaise! Don’t you have any imagination??”

More bickering ensued until they erupted into cries of pain with loud thumps on the floor.

Another voice growled, “Shut the hell up or commit seppuku! And if you have a problem with mayonnaise, just die here and now!”

“Easy, Toushi!” broke in yet another voice. “Everyone’s a little stressed because of cabin fever.”

“Kondou-san, don’t send Hijikata off to buy supplies again, all he came back with was rice and mayonnaise,” added a monotone voice, “He might be in league with the enemy since he’s trying to kill us all with mayonnaise. But don’t worry, I’ll dispose of the traitor right away.” 

“I don’t want to hear that from the traitor who pushed me into the river yesterday!”

“I already told you that was an accident. I couldn’t stand in the path of an elderly woman, so I made room for her and you happened to be in the way.”

“Accident, my ass! You knew I was there and you pushed me with both arms! I’ll kill you! I’ll really kill you!” 

The arguing continued despite Kondou’s peace-making attempts and Tetsunosuke smiled again. He picked up the brush only to drop it with a yelp, sending splatters of ink all over the paper. “Oh! You scared me, Captain!” 

Saitou was in the corner – which had been empty seconds ago – holding up a newly acquired notebook that read: _We are meeting in five minutes-Z_. He quickly took it down and jotted, _My apologies-Z for scaring you-Z. I seem to do that a lot-Z._ Saitou had also bought himself a surgical mask to cover the lower half of his face out of shyness than any illness. Having his mouth uncovered for days must’ve been torture.

“It’s alright and thank you for informing me, Captain!”

With his free hand, Saitou slowly pulled down his mask and displayed his horrifying smile with bloodshot eyes.

Inside, Tetsunosuke wanted to run away screaming again, but he forced himself to strengthen his own smile though with beads of sweat forming on the side of his face.

In the adjacent corner apartment, which served as the main base camp for gatherings due to its larger size, most everyone was waiting to hear from Yamazaki, who munched on anpan while holding a grocery bag full of anpan. Or rather they would be waiting soon enough because most of them were holding an incensed Hijikata and smirking Okita back from attacking each other while Kondou lectured on the importance of comradeship in hideout situations.

“…And that’s why you should always check for toilet paper before putting yourself in a difficult situation with your pants around your ankles,” Kondou finished up with a firm nod. 

Harada clapped his hands a couple of times. “Well said, Chief!”

“What does that have to do with my wanting to string Sougo up by his intestines??” a glaring Hijikata demanded, shrugging aside the arms that restrained him.

“Oh, more than you think, Toushi!” Kondou moved to sit on a chair and cleared his throat, crossing his arms. “Well, let’s get this meeting started. Yamazaki, tell us what you’ve found out.” 

Everyone took a seat on the floor with the exception of Hijikata, who remained standing by Kondou, and Yamazaki, who was wiping away anpan crumbs from his mouth and preparing to speak.

Tetsunosuke quickly crossed the room along the wall and sat down near Hijikata’s feet. 

“Well, I was listening to a conversation at the smithy. Eavesdropping is a tool of the trade for a spy,” Yamazaki explained hastily, “It’s not so much a bad habit for me as it is a necessity—” 

“Just get on with it,” Hijikata ordered, annoyed.

“Y-Yes, Vice-Chief!” Yamazaki cleared his throat and began. “Bakufu forces have entered space in pursuit of Katsura’s faction and the Kaientai, led by Sakamoto Tatsuma. Apparently, they have engaged in battle with Amanto enemy forces on the planet Rakuyou. There’s a rumour that the Kiheitai may have regrouped there, and also a strong possibility of Harusame involvement.”

“Damned space pirates,” Harada muttered, scowling.

“Who’s leading the Kiheitai?” Kondou asked, “I thought Takasugi Shinsuke was MIA.”

“ _Officially_ , he still is,” Yamazaki replied, “But it is possible the situation may have changed, not to mention they still have leaders among them who may keep the Kiheitai going. I’ve also heard reports of the Yorozuya being absent from Edo, as well. Someone spotted a giant white dog some nights ago at the harbour, boarding a Kaientai vessel.” 

Some of the men glanced at each other in silent understanding. The only people they knew who owned a beast of a dog like that was the Yorozuya, and for them to leave Edo with the Kaientai – Sakamoto likely an old ally of Gintoki’s – meant something of great significance was taking place beyond Earth; something that needed to be settled before the rebellion brewing around the country boiled over.

“There are reports of Amanto warships landing in Edo at an alarming rate,” Yamazaki continued, “They’re calling themselves the Liberation Army and some of their soldiers are causing trouble around the city, disrupting businesses and harassing citizens.”

Tetsunosuke grimaced at this news. Edo was ripe for the taking with the Shogun occupied in space and the Shinsengumi, Edo’s protectors, absent. He had no doubt that others would stand up against this Liberation Army, but with some of the strongest people currently away from Earth, Tetsunosuke couldn’t shake the feeling that Edo was doomed if they didn’t go back to suppress the violence and possible makings of a full-scale war.

Hijikata said to Kondou in a solemn voice, “What are your orders?” 

Kondou stayed quiet at first, a closed hand covering his mouth, as he contemplated the information with a deep frown. Finally, he looked up, jaw set in a resolute expression. “I believe it is time we returned to Edo. The people need us. Yamazaki, contact Pops and tell him the Shinsengumi are ready to protect Edo once more!”

Tetsunosuke was sure everyone was feeling the same kind of thrill running through their veins as he was at these words.

Yamazaki saluted. “Yes, Chief!”

Kondou grunted his approval and turned to everyone else. “The rest of you, back to your duties! Make sure you get in more training before we leave and be sure to eat and sleep when you can, because after this, we may not get another chance to rest.” 

“Yes, Chief!” they all chimed together, jumping to their feet one by one and going for the rice balls Ishikawa had prepared on a table. Some ate right then and there, conversing over what was now ahead for them and how much they had missed Edo. Others filed out to continue whatever it was they were doing before. 

Tetsunosuke wanted to finish his letter, but lingered behind, hoping to ask Hijikata for some counsel on letter-writing.

“After we get in touch with him,” Kondou was saying to Hijikata and Okita, “we’ll form our traveling plans in conjunction with his group. Last I heard he was in the middle of procuring some heavy-duty artillery in case of a war. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

Both men nodded. 

Sighing, Kondou set a worried gaze toward the ceiling. “I hope Otae-san is safe from that Liberation Army! It pains me not knowing what’s going on in Kabukichou…”

Hijikata fished out a cigarette from his newly purchased Mayoboros and lit up, murmuring, “I highly doubt they’ll be able to intimidate a woman like her.”

“You think so, Toushi?”

“Not to worry, Kondou-san,” Okita said, “As you know from firsthand experience, gorillas are known for their strength.”

“Don’t remind me!” Kondou’s face crumpled into shame. “I’m planning to quit the stalking from this point forward!”

Hijikata glanced at Tetsunosuke, exhaling smoke. “What is it?”

Suddenly feeling self-conscious in front of the other two, Tetsunosuke swallowed and fidgeted with his hands. “Uh, pardon me for interrupting, Vice-Chief, but I wanted to ask for your advice with a personal matter.” 

Hijikata arched a suspicious eyebrow and asked, “How _personal_ of a matter?” 

“It’s regarding a letter.” 

Kondou, who was still sitting down, leaned forward with a smile and turned his attention to Okita. “Let’s go grab a bite to eat, Sougo!” He stood up and took Okita’s arm. “Then we’ll go spar together!”

“But I was planning to eavesdrop,” Okita said, as he was led away by Kondou to the meal table.

Grateful for the moment alone, Tetsunosuke took a deep breath and decided to let it all tumble out. “You told me it wasn’t too late to write my letter to Isaburou, and so I’ve decided to go through with it. But…I don’t know what to say. Of course, I fully understand that you sent your letters without writing anything for a specific purpose! But with Isaburou, I feel I have to start off by saying something…because we didn’t have that kind of bond you and your brother had. When I think about everything I wanted to say to him when he was alive…well, I don’t know how to put it in words now. It might be too much to write a long letter, but maybe if I started from childhood, I might have a better idea of what to say—”

Hijikata sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. “Look, Tetsu, I can’t tell you what to write. That’s between you and that bastard—no offense.” 

“None taken, sir!”

“If you feel that writing an impossibly long letter that details everything you experienced, fine, write that. If you want to talk about the weather, write that, too. Write whatever the hell you want as long as it’s coming from you.” Hijikata gave a slight shake of his head, gazing elsewhere. “ _I_ sure had no damn idea what to write in my letters, so I wouldn’t be much help, anyway.”

Tetsunosuke had expected this kind of answer, but hearing it out loud gave him some reassurance that he wasn’t wrong to _not_ know what to write. It was just the kind of push he needed and there was no better person at motivating people than Hijikata, whether through aggressive or pragmatic means. Smiling, Tetsunosuke said, “Thank you, Vice-Chief! You have helped me more than you think.”

Hijikata regarded him for a moment, and then turned away, but not with the tiniest upturn of the corner of his mouth. “After dinner, I want three thousand swings.”

Tetsunosuke saluted. “Yes, Vice-Chief!”

Tetsunosuke watched as Hijikata walked over to the table picked up a rice ball, took out a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise, and covered the entire top part. Then, he filled his mouth with a huge bite and ate with a contented expression, oblivious to the range of whispered comments and nauseated judgmental looks from the rest. 

For Hijikata, simply enjoying his favourite condiment was more than enough in a life where he could die at any time.

Later, feeling less mounting pressure than before, Tetsunosuke returned to the apartment where he had set up his writing table and materials. Replacing the spoiled paper, he smoothed out a new sheet and picked up the brush. Provided he didn’t die tomorrow or in a week, there would be plenty of days in which he could gradually unravel his feelings and thoughts for Isaburou. 

But for now, in this moment, where the force of his emotions were too great to convey in words, Tetsunosuke decided to keep the letter simple and short, as if they were two people beginning to get to know each other – and, quite honestly, they were. Someday they might meet again, and when they did, Tetsunosuke would already have some practice in speaking to his older brother. 

_Isaburou,_

_The rice balls with mayonnaise filling tasted especially good today._

_Tetsu_

* * *

Matsudaira Katakuriko had, indeed, procured new weaponry through his various and international contacts when the Shinsengumi, camped outside the city, prepared to march into Edo days later. The political situation had changed drastically with Nobu Nobu’s capricious negotiations in space and the threat of the Liberation Army literally looming on the horizon with the arrival of many more battleships. They weren’t going up against their own government now; they were going up against the potential annihilation of their country and the earth itself. 

Matsudaira had assembled together all rebel groups and remnants of the Bakufu army – the latter who found that Nobu Nobu’s past and present decisions clashed with their desire to protect the country. In less than a day, they would embark on what could very well be their final journey. Leading the attack would be the newly outfitted Shinsengumi. 

The first thing Tetsunosuke noticed about their new uniform was the length of the coat – a little longer than the previous one although not as long as the officers’ coats – with an upturned collar and redesigned vest. He had been honoured to receive one and wore it with pride.

Others had had special modifications made to their uniform for training purposes, as was the case with Kondou, who Tetsunosuke had sought out while looking for Hijikata.

Kondou pointed at his white headband. “With my weighted training equipment, every swing of my sword will come easily and swiftly when I take them off! I’ll even be able to run faster than the speed of a bullet!” Kondou declared with an excited grin, as they stood in the shade of a tree, surveying the assortment of tents and artillery stationed around the camp.

“Is that so?”

Tetsunosuke jumped to attention at the sound of Matsudaira’s gravelly voice, the old man coming to join them, wearing tinted glasses as always, cigarette hanging out the corner of his mouth.

Matsudaira continued, “I’m expecting that the Shinsengumi are well-primed for the battle ahead since you had all this time to train and relax while I was busy gathering together manpower and tanks with no rest whatsoever. Do you think it’s easy garnering support against the government with a damn price on my head? Huh? Do you?”

The last question he directed to Tetsunosuke, who gulped nervously and shook his head. “No, sir!”

Matsudaira pulled a gun out of his coat and aimed at Kondou. “So, you think you’re faster than a bullet? Let’s put that to the test. Don’t disappoint this old man now.” 

Kondou’s grin disappeared and his eyes widened. “Wait, wait! I didn’t take them off yet—”

“Here we go, on the count of three. One—”

There was a loud reverberating bang, as Kondou miraculously sidestepped a bullet and then two more, yelling as he danced around the area. “You didn’t finish counting down to three!” he cried.

“It’s tried and true advice that I have given to every man here,” Matsudaira said, blowing away billowing smoke from the gun barrel. “You only need the number one to get through life and even death. Take it from me, the difference between life and death is one second, so you got to give it your best sure shot right then and there.” 

“That was more than one shot!” 

Tetsunosuke quietly slipped away from the two men for his own safety, and continued his search for Hijikata.

Walking around the camp was a tall shaggy-haired, muscular man with a bazooka on his shoulder. Yamazaki was showing the fruits of his training, now referred to as Zakiyama. Whatever he had done to achieve spectacular results that drastically altered his appearance, Tetsunosuke wished he knew. All training they had done over their journey across the country and in the dojos they had access to – much thanks to Matsudaira for his arrangements – hadn’t been any different than how they trained before. There was not much else they could add to their regimens except to have the basics fully mastered and work on their own personal techniques. In the end, they would best sharpen their skills on the battlefield.

Time was also devoted to training new and inexperienced recruits so that they survived at least one battle. It was in leading the practice swings of a group of greenhorns that Tetsunosuke truly appreciated Hijikata’s role as his mentor, that he had chosen to work with Tetsunosuke on an individual basis when he didn’t have much time to deviate from his responsibilities, let alone to train somebody who had neglected his own instruction in the sword. Hijikata could have left him to fend for himself, but he hadn’t.

_“My job to ensure you are ready for battle at a moment’s notice and that you survive to the end of it.”_

That was why Tetsunosuke wanted to find Hijikata and speak to him, possibly one last time before they entered Edo in case one of them died. Tetsunosuke could bet his life savings on Hijikata’s chances of survival, but in his own, he wasn’t all that confident. The life of a Shinsengumi member meant living on the edge every day, prepared to risk death for the safety of a nation. He had long adjusted to such a reality. But up until now, Kokujou Island had been the only real mortal combat he’d faced and he had survived thanks to Hijikata’s training. Knowing he was about to fight in an actual war changed his perspective and emphasized the brevity of life. He _could_ die and _might_ see Isaburou sooner than expected. He had come to terms with that.

And so, he needed to tell Hijikata something important before that happened.

He passed the medical tent, where he could see Otsuka and Ishikawa inside, going over the supply inventory list and directing other members to move boxes and stretchers into the medical transport vehicle. Both men nodded briefly to Tetsunosuke.

Tetsunosuke passed the battleship loading area, where Murase stood by a tank, reading off a clipboard and checking over the equipment that would be moved into the ships. He paused long enough to wave.

A short jog past the arms stockpile revealed Nakashima teaching a younger recruit how to properly position a rocket launcher on his shoulder while maintaining his balance. Nakashima and Tetsunosuke exchanged grins.

“Oi, Tetsu!” 

At the sound of his name, Tetsunosuke glanced ahead and saw Goda and Eguchi walking toward him, both looking equally sharp in their new uniforms.

“We were just talking about the time Vice-Chief came back so drunk he thought Eguchi was you,” Goda said when Tetsunosuke reached them.

Tetsunosuke chuckled, also recalling the incident and how he and Eguchi both favoured a shaved head. Eguchi being the taller Tetsunosuke was a running joke among the men. 

“Yeah, he kept telling me to iron his jacket and write a report,” Eguchi added with a laugh, but then sobered up with a frown. “Although it wasn’t as funny when he punished me for failing to do either of those things.”

Of course, Hijikata had been livid over his humiliation and blamed everyone for pulling a prank on him with a similarly buzzed Kondou barely able to curtail Hijikata’s temper. 

Another memory struck Tetsunosuke. “Remember when Captain Inoue fell into a tar pit while chasing the Joui?” 

“Or when Chief had us all participate in the Naked Festival in order to strengthen our bonds?” Goda added.

The three of them shared a good laugh, as more memories surfaced, and Tetsunosuke only returned to reality when he heard a distant horn, signifying the departure of a battleship. They grew quiet, all watching as Matsudaira’s flagship lifted into the air amid a bout of cheers that rang strong despite the roar of the ship’s engines and the wind that rattled the trees and stirred up dust around the campsite.

“I guess this is it, then,” Eguchi said, looking at each man with a sad smile.

Goda slowly nodded, face grim. “Yeah…I hope we all make it back this time.”

They had all lost comrades and friends at Kokujou Island, men whom they’d unknowingly shared one last drink with before the disbandment and then a promise to make it back alive before stepping onto the island in search of their commander. It was a burden Tetsunosuke knew Kondou and Hijikata carried with them daily, as two leaders responsible for overseeing, training, and leading the Shinsengumi into battles where survival wasn’t guaranteed.

They had all joined the Shinsengumi for the same purpose in the end: to fight for what they believed in under a commander who shared the same values. All knew that they might one day die in battle and had accepted that. But it didn’t mean they had to live now as if their fates were already sealed.

“When the war is over,” Tetsunosuke said, lifting his chin up with a confident smile, “there will be time for more memories to be made. So, until then, don’t die, alright?”

Both men returned his smile and agreed to that promise. 

“Take care of yourself, Tetsu,” Goda said, clapping Tetsunosuke on the back.

“After all, what would Vice-Chief do without his highly devoted assistant?” Eguchi added. 

Touched by the praise, Tetsunosuke nodded. “I will! The same to you both!”

He left them and resumed the hunt for Hijikata. So far, he had encountered almost every manner of personnel except for the vice-chief. He was not at the mess tent, the officers’ encampment, and the training grounds. He wouldn’t leave without Kondou and the Shinsengumi, so he had to be _somewhere_.

_Vice-Chief, where are you?_

Aware of his time running out before they embarked on their mission, Tetsunosuke quickened his pace, desperate to find Hijikata before the ground troops were mobilized and all chance for conversation was lost.

“Captain Okitaaaa!!”

Tetsunosuke blinked, as Kamiyama sprinted past him, waving a piece of paper in the air, heading toward one place Tetsunosuke was planning to check out.

The Shinsengumi captains were gathered together underneath a larger tent, overlooking a table of maps and battle plans. Okita, Saitou, Harada, Nagakura, Sugihara, Takeda, Inoue, Oka, Todo, and Niki – all in deep discussion over the forthcoming war and whose units would provide back-up, who would flank the vanguard, and other critical strategic details.

“The Chief will be here soon,” Harada was saying, when Tetsunosuke arrived within earshot, “As long as our numbers are finalized…”

“Captain!” Kamiyama burst in, rushing over to Okita and handing him the slip of paper. “Report from the scouts, sir! The Liberation Army has control of the ports and deployed troops to take the city from there. Battleships are also forming a perimeter around Edo’s airspace!”

Tetsunosuke quietly approached around the side, behind Okita and Kamiyama, stomach aflutter at the unwelcome news.

“Damn, they’re fast,” Todo remarked, scowling, “I take it negotiations aren’t going well in space…”

“That’s unsurprising, considering who’s helping with that,” Okita said, slowly crumpling the report in his hands.

“Now, now, Sougo,” said Kondou, drawing the attention of everyone, as he entered the tent, miraculously unscathed by his earlier run-in with Matsudaira. “I’m not quite sure negotiations would go smoothly if we sent you in there instead.”

Okita unsheathed his sword and inspected the tip, sliding fingertips across the blade’s flat surface. “They would be short and to the point.”

Kondou smirked. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. Let’s have faith in Katsura and his ability to turn an unfavourable situation around. He helped us at Kokujou and I’ve no doubt he’ll help us here. We have the same end goal and I know he wouldn’t want to see Earth destroyed. Plus, I hear Sakamoto Tatsuma is no negotiating slouch himself!”

“Leaving Earth’s fate to two idiot Joui patriots isn’t very reassuring, Kondou-san.” Without warning, Okita swung his blade around, its trajectory halted by the tent pole Tetsunosuke was standing in front of—or rather _had_ , for he now crouched low, gasping for breath. Okita stared at him with those shiver-inducing deep red eyes. “Oi, Tetsu…don’t stand behind me. I may have mistook you for an enemy.”

Tetsunosuke gulped. “My mistake, Captain!”

“That was a close one, sir!” Kamiyama said, chuckling and pointing to the line of bare skin across his head, “You almost gave me a haircut!”

“He didn’t _almost_ give you a haircut,” fourth unit captain Sugihara remarked, “He really _did_ give you a haircut!”

Kondou sighed and looked at Tetsunosuke. “Tetsu, will you fetch Toushi? Looks like we’ll be proceeding earlier than planned.”

“Right away, sir, as soon as I locate him! Would you happen to know his last whereabouts?”

“Oh, you didn’t find him yet?” Kondou thought for a moment and the answered, “I saw him heading out of the camp on the west side, maybe an hour ago. He mentioned something about going for a quick walk.”

“Maybe he’s having war jitters,” Okita remarked, sheathing his sword, “So scared he had to go take a long dump before we leave.”

“Nah, Toushi’s not easily shaken before a battle,” Kondou said, stepping to the table and adjusting a map around, so that it faced him. “His nerves are made of the best kind of steel there is.”

Leaving the officers to their strategizing, Tetsunosuke dashed out of the tent and headed west, which opened into forest on the southern edge and rice fields on the northern side. He had to cross a stream and cut through a thicket before reaching a clearing where he found Hijikata at long last.

Standing alone atop a grassy hillock, Hijikata peered through binoculars, the bottom part of his coat swaying in the breeze behind him.

“Sir!” Tetsunosuke called out, puffing as he climbed the hill, “You’re wanted back at the camp immediately! The Liberation Army is preparing to attack the city!”

“I know,” Hijikata said, sounding calm, “I’ve been watching them for the past half hour.” He lowered the binoculars and continued to stare at the horizon where Edo’s terminal rose up, surrounded by battleships. “They’ve been hovering for awhile now…bastards must be waiting for orders from their general.” 

Tetsunosuke forced himself to look away from the disheartening sight and faced Hijikata. “So, we’re going to war, then?”

Hijikata nodded, still staring ahead.

“I see…” Tetsunosuke licked his lips and took a deep breath. “Sir, if I may say something?”

“Speak.”

“I want to say this in case I die out there.” Just that sentence alone filled him with more fear, but he tried to stay focused. “Vice-Chief…no, Hijikata Toushirou-san…you are a man of the most excellent caliber, one that I have been so proud to serve under and be trained by. Not a day goes by where I don’t cherish my life that you saved and the purpose you gave me. I will follow you and fight until my last breath for the sake of this country.” He saluted, holding it. “It is a great honour to join you in battle, sir.”

The ensuing silence was intimidating, especially as he thought back to how Hijikata had reacted in the forest to his sentimental speech.

But, to Tetsunosuke’s pleasant surprise, Hijikata smiled.

Maybe it was the high tension and emotions permeating the camp atmosphere that compelled him to provide another one of his genuine smiles that he didn’t give out like orders. His smile wasn’t radiant like Kondou’s or filled with an underlying mischief like Okita’s. Rather, it was the simple serene smile of a proud older brother. “I’m glad to fight alongside you as well. I’ll be following after Kondou-san and shielding him, so I’m entrusting my back to you. Your only order from here on out is to survive. Understood?” 

Tetsunosuke could feel his whole heart and soul alight with these words that conveyed more than a simple command, for it meant he finally held Hijikata’s complete trust in battle. “Yes, Vice-Chief!”

Hijikata suddenly gave a heavy sigh and rubbed his forehead with his free hand. “You’re almost getting to be like Kamiyama…promise me you won’t reach his level of bootlicking? I won’t be able to stand it without wanting to pummel you into the ground.”

“I promise!” 

Hijikata reached inside his coat and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “Dispose of these,” he ordered, handing them to Tetsunosuke, “I’m done with them.” 

“Certainly, sir.” Tetsunosuke inspected the inside of the pack, noting it was half-full. “You’re trying to quit for good?” 

Hijikata pulled out yet another pack, but they were a different brand and of the electronic variety, designed to mimic the appearance of regular cigarettes with the latest and tiniest technology installed inside the smooth sticks. Hijikata must’ve picked them up during their last supply run. “I’ll give it a shot with these,” he answered mournfully, slipping one out and sliding a side switch upward, “But I’m going to need them to make mayonnaise-flavoured ones.”

Tetsunosuke chuckled.

They hurried back to the encampment as fast they could, Tetsunosuke trailing behind, but feeling as elated as one could be prior to battle. He thought back to one particular night practice session in the dojo when Hijikata had told him that he wasn’t ready yet to be entrusted with the life of the vice-chief. But after everything they had been through, after all the blood, sweat, and tears, Hijikata had subtly declared Tetsunosuke prepared enough to take on a heavy responsibility. Kondou wholeheartedly entrusted his back to Hijikata and Okita, knowing they would be right there, defending his blind spots and protecting him. Now, Hijikata had shown he could rely on Tetsunosuke to do the same and that was all he needed to squash all his doubts and fears before the battle began.

This would be another thing to write in his next letter to Isaburou.

In less than five minutes, the captains assembled their units and lined up before Kondou and Hijikata, standing at full attention. Other troops were stationed similarly, but here the Shinsengumi gathered solely for their own benefit and to receive last minute instructions from their leaders.

Kondou walked up and down in front of the lines, hands folded behind his back, calling out the strategy they would take upon entering the city, advancing toward the castle while taking out enemies they encountered along the way.

“Your two priorities are the lives of the citizens and the lives of your comrades! Watch each other’s back. Protect the people. Don’t let those Liberation Army bastards push you around! We are the Shinsengumi! We have been mocked, imprisoned, divided, and hunted. But we persevered and we are stronger than ever!” Kondou grinned, the wind whipping at his spiky hair and headband, the long scar a testament to all they had experienced, from facing disbandment to nearly losing their commander. “The city will not be left undefended – not while we still breathe! Men, we are returning to Edo – we are returning _home!_ ”

The Shinsengumi cheered, but did not break formation. 

Kondou looked at all of them in turn. “I have the immense privilege of leading a fine bunch of hooligan cops into battle to stop rampant crime and restore justice. When we enter the city, do not let your hearts be led astray with fear. They might have bigger toys to play with, but, as you know, we don’t play nice when our home is threatened. Walk with pride! Fight with pride! And make every effort to survive!” 

“Yes, Chief!!” 

“And now, I turn it over to Toushi.” Kondou backed away while Hijikata stepped forward. 

“Alright, you thorny louts!” Hijikata barked out, glaring at them, “It’s been a long time since we went over the Shinsengumi Codes, but that’s no excuse to forget them! By now they should be engraved on your heart and soul, so that you can say them without hesitation. But if you _did_ have the audacity to forget them, I will have you commit seppuku here and now!”

“Yes, Vice-Chief!!”

Hijikata cleared his throat, squaring his shoulders and folding his hands behind his back. “Let’s begin.”

Reciting regulations he now knew by heart, Tetsunosuke kept his eyes on Hijikata’s austere form, unable to look elsewhere, _unwilling_ to do so. Hijikata wasn’t simply an authoritative figure, mouth moving robotically. Every word that poured out of his mouth was spoken with sincere conviction from his heart. Hijikata believed in the Shinsengumi and the Shinsengumi believed in him.

Tears slipped out of the corners of Tetsunosuke’s eyes, as he proclaimed as loudly and firmly, and if he was considered too noisy and superfluous, he did not care a single bit. 

Hijikata’s gaze continually swept over the men, and when his eyes landed on Tetsunosuke, Hijikata stared for a moment, still reciting, and then nodded once in perceived approval, like he understood everything Tetsunosuke was feeling in that moment. 

When they had finished, Kondou raised a fist high above his head to the heavens and shouted, “Fight, Shinsengumi!!”

Smiling and blinking away tears, Tetsunosuke joined his comrades in mirroring their leader’s jubilant actions and words.

They were going to war. The Battle at Kokujou Island was a mere skirmish compared to what they were about to face in Edo, the heart of the conflict. This, now, was a conflict equal to the Amanto War, as they would fight for the continued existence of their country and Earth. 

Inside, Tetsunosuke was terrified. He had been training non-stop since the day they departed Edo, continuing to learn under Hijikata’s tutelage in between traveling and stirring up revolution across the land. Tetsunosuke was stronger than before, but whether he was strong enough to survive the forthcoming war, he didn’t know yet. 

The only certainty he had was following in the footsteps of a man he held absolute trust in. No matter where they went, to victory or to death, Tetsunosuke vowed to keep his eyes focused on Hijikata Toushirou, fighting with and dying by the side of someone who had given Tetsunosuke new purpose in life.

_Hijikata-san…I will assist you for as long as I can until the day you no longer need me._

_And, Isaburou, my brother…_

_Watch me._


End file.
